For context,
- we have an 8mo little girl
- DH and I met at 13 and he wanted to kiss me even though he had a gf, I said no and told his gf, they broke up, and we (DH) became friends a little after
- in 2021 after years of friendship we both become single and get together, 6 months in I find out he lied about his break up and it was because he cheated on his gf all the way through. We spent months working through it, got to a great place where we understood why he cheated and he was working on those traits in himself. Told him if he ever does it to me, or lies to me about women, it’s over.
- 2023 got married and started a family. Life has literally been perfect
just found out DH has been planning to meet up with a female work colleague when he’s told me he’s going to the gym on his own. We already work alternating days and I do a lot of the childcare - so I’ve been asking him to stay because that extra hour and a half co-parenting makes a huge difference to my day. He’s always stayed and not gone. He also spent night after night learning how to code for a course he’s doing - and I find out he’s actually been making her a programme to help her complete her dissertation, and lying to me about it.
he never mentions her in his day, but will talk about other colleagues non stop.
aibu to feel like this is a betrayal and a repeat of history? I feel completely broken. Please don’t send the ‘once a cheat always a cheat and I should’ve known’ messages. We worked really hard in therapy and things have felt perfect since :(