DH texting

[pharmacoco]

This isn't a usual DH texting OW scenario / so sorry for the click bait

I've noticed DH and I not having as many jokes as usual, laughs etc, getting on grand but not as much jovial fun really. Pondering what's changed and I've realised that DH will send the funny stuff on WhatsApp to his pals.

As an example; booked into a guest house, it's eerie, I say this to DH, who shrugs and says it's fine. To then proceed in sending photos to his pal of 'what's the eeriest thing in this room?' I only cottoned on because I was hurriedly getting ready for a wedding and he's taking photos so I asked why,

Probably a naff example but now I'm thinking about it there's loads more. Daft stuff really. We go for a drink, no comment made about it, then sits and takes a photo to send to a pal with a caption about how expensive it is.

AIBU to be upset with this ? Or is it that's its nearly 4am and I'm OTT.

It's hurtful when your DH engages more with others than with you. I had an ex like this. Wasn't interested in talking to me, but would spend ages talking to random strangers.

How long have you been married OP?
How is your relationship otherwise with your DH ?
He actually sounds very young - prefers his pals company to yours . Sounds like one of these men who think women have their uses for certain things but actually it's male company and conversation that is interesting.

@Wherehasallthetimegone
Married nearly 3 years. Both late 30s

Appreciate the reply, I do not think he prefers male conversation but it has made me think he's recently started a new job and I wonder if its linked to this, as these would be the people he is messaging/entertaining.

Sorry OP when you said pals/pal I assumed it was male pals and ones he had known a long time.
So do you know these new colleagues he is trying to impress? Are we talking here about women / one particular woman?Because that puts a whole different slant on things.

@Wherehasallthetimegone
Probably my terminology but no females ! He works in a largely male dominated workplace

In every other way we are great, it's just this, and it is recent. Perhaps he is trying to impress new work colleagues but it's tedious for me tbh. And as the previous responder suggested, it is hurtful.

Well yes I agree it is hurtful.
If your relationship is otherwise great and he continues to ignore you in favour of interacting with his pals on the phone then I really think you need to talk about it with him. You may be excusing it because they are new pals/ new job but you don't want this to become the established norm.

I think it's advisable (if not essential) to do a little housekeeping in a marriage every few years. Stuff creeps in without you noticing, uneven shares of chores, mental load, and in your case not sharing the silly minutiae of everyday life together. And sharing that is important. If you've just been to someone else's wedding, then that's a good trigger for a bottle of wine at the kitchen table and a late night chat about what marriage is like 3 years in. But don't wade in with the 'you're doing this' and 'you're doing that', rather go with the 'I miss...' and 'I sometimes feel...'