I've been friends with C since we were 16. She's had some very hard times, been very into drugs in past years. She now has 4 adult children and her life still isn't easy. In the past I've helped her quite a bit financially.
I've been very supportive over the years because mostly our friendship was lovely and we had laughs, supported each other etc.
But gradually it began to change. She started getting irritated with me, wouldn't go anywhere I suggested, was negative about my friends and often downright rude to me.
Around about lockdowns I felt I didn't need that in my life and withdrew from the friendship. I felt she wasn't nice to me. Then my husband got cancer, he's OK now but it was an awful time. We had to self isolate a lot because of his health vulnerablability during treatment and she wouldn't accept it. Was actually really horrible to me.
Since then we've seen each other occasionally. She's become quite reculsive. When we see each other she's very critical of me and it's just not enjoyable. I don't feel I've done anything wrong apart from tell her bluntly why I withdrew when I did but I'm scared. She's critical of me so much anyway and I feel she'd be really nasty.
Point is I still love her but I want a more distant, casual friendship where she's not picking fault with me. Just a casual coffee or drink now and then. It's so intense.
Any suggestions? Maybe I haven't been clear, so much more but I'd go on forever...