Birthday Meal - what would you do?

[AhwoofDuggee]

NC as it is a small world out there.

Just not sure what to do.

My DM's birthday is coming up and she is having a meal. Not a special birthday age but it was just my parents going and was shortly invited after asking her plans.

My DM and sister have had a big fall out and it has been ongoing for months. Neither person has told me - I found out a different way.

My DM has told me she has invited sister and her family but my sister has said she knows nothing about it.

I feel stuck as I've got a lot on with my health/ my own family and I have mixed feelings about going. My DD2 is not 100% well atm and I don't want to risk spreading anything. I have been scorned before by DM for various things and I struggle to have a close relationship with her.

Should I go with my little family?

Yes go. Her beef with your sister is not your trouble. Enjoy a family meal out with your mum for her birthday.
What's up with your DD, is it catching? If not, just go or leave her at home if she doesn't mind (does she need a babysitter?)

Yes go.
Don’t say to DM that DSIS has said she isn’t invited, just stay out of it and accept the version DM is telling you. either all go, or leave DD at home with DH if she is too poorly.

Go if you want to, don't go if you don't want to.

I have two DDs and the youngest is 2 and the one who has the bug. My DH is working whilst the meal is on as it is during the day so I don't have access to other childcare.

Re. with my mum and sis it has just would have been different if they said they weren't talking and left it like that. I wouldn't have got involved in repairing anything as they both have form for being unapologetic and "never in the wrong".

Forget the sister issue and leave them to it. If your Dd2 isn’t well enough, don’t go but don’t make it about someone else’s falling out.

see how your dd is
and if it is stressful in any way. dont go

Two separate issues surely?

Your mum and your sister falling out - nothing to do with you, neither of them know you know, so act as if you don't know. Don't try to repair it! Keep out of it.

Your daughter is ill - if she's so ill that you feel you'd risk spreading what she has that's a good reason not to go. It sounds like you don't want to go because your mum sounds like very hard work so by all means grab that handy excuse. Do not mention the fall-out!