To tell or not

[TheFoz]

I have a great relationship with my daughters, one mid teens and the other early 20’s. We are quite open, but, they don’t know about the trauma I suffered as a child. I am thinking about telling them but I just don’t know. The reasons for telling them is to give them a better understanding of me and so that I’m not keeping any secrets from them. But I’m so conflicted, I don’t want it to seem like I’m dumping on them. I’ve had lots of counselling in the past but the kids were much younger then so telling them wasn’t a consideration.

has anyone been in the same boat and how did it work out?

I don’t know if this is the right place to ask this question, it feels like something you should work through with a therapist.

You haven’t shared what the trauma is (and I am not asking you to share) but my advice would change depending on what the trauma was.

I think you need to work through why you want to tell them, what you want to gain by telling them, do you have to tell them now or can it wait, how you want them to react, how you will cope if they react poorly or not how you expect them to, etc.

Theres really no right or wrong answer here and it would be unwise to listen to tell them/dong tell them advice on a forum where no one knows your trauma, your children and their personality, etc.