Maternity leave return nightmare, or is it me

[Bre1ally]

I’m feeling horrendously stressed and really grasping at straws. I’m a lone parent and had a decent career before DD. She’s 19 months and I have been back at work a year almost. In that time management has changed within my team. I’ve felt pushed out of meetings (one incident I went to HR as I was so confused/upset by what happened), I’ve been told it was ‘surprising and good of my employer’ to have given me a pay rise while on maternity leave…even though this was the same as everyone else had at that time. I’ve questioned my pay as since being back I am the only one with a lesser percentage than the rest of the team. The answer has been that I can revisit it next year but it’s based around a number of factors and my manager can’t tell me what they are as he’s new…I’ve been told my performance is fine!!!! I work for a big company they have lots of offices and I’ve been there 9 years. Never experienced this sort of thing and don’t know if I’m being sensitive since having a baby? I am terrified of them pushing me out while I have nowhere to go (currently looking for jobs). I am on an ok salary (over 60k). I have huge outgoings and feel absolutely panicked by how things seem since I’ve returned. Just looking for support or advice. Would they pay me extra if I jumped ship myself and made a fuss while doing so? I’m just exhausted by it all

Do not jump ship, do not offer. Are you in a union?

“Would they pay me extra if I jumped ship myself and made a fuss while doing so? I’m just exhausted by it all”

of course they wouldn’t! What would you make a fuss about?
you are in a very vulnerable position (single parent w high outgoings), try and make it work. I don’t understand the payrise issue, you got on one leave but are not happy with the percentage?

@DingDongDell70 no union. I work for a huge organisation. I don’t think there is a union?

Talk to Pregnant the Screwed and Maternity Action.

@HaveYouSeenRain mine was less than everyone else’s but no explanation given and apparently my performance is fine

Do you have a papertrail to prove this?

How do you know everyone’s payrise?

I know because the team have all spoken openly about the percentage, assuming we were all in the same boat

in most workplaces it’s not allowed to discuss salaries. You can’t complain over some office gossip, people make up shit too. Seems all very unprofessional

@HaveYouSeenRain well it has been discussed and these are all professionals being paid a lot of money

ok but it’s not official Knowledge so you want to complain over information you got from gossiping? This will not go down well.

There will be a union that represents workers in your sector. For example, in transport it’s RMT/TSSA/ASLEF, public sector (though does cover some private sector workers) Unison.

I attach a list for you. However, most unions may not become involved with a pre-existing issue. I stress the words ‘may not’ as some will, some won’t.

Also worth checking if you have legal cover on your home insurance.

https://www.tuc.org.uk/unions

You have the right to join a union regardless of whether there's representation in your workplace.

Not allowed, my arse. This rule is completely unethical and unenforceable and only exists to try and stop people from finding out that they've been screwed over.

The world would be a much fairer place if everyone discussed their salaries.

@WaneyEdge thanks.

i feel so low and stressed. I don’t know if I feel like this after having dd but these things didn’t happen before I had her. I really don’t enjoy work anymore

The problem you have is you’re not in a union, and you don’t have any official information to challenge them on.

You don’t have any grounds for any “extra”, if you leave then you’d be doing so purely by handing your notice in and leaving.

Is it performance related pay? Or a flat increase? If the latter than I think you have a case. If it is the former, that is really hard for employers. I have been in a situation where I was a new manager and was also in what I could do for performance related pay because the person was not there for the period being reviewed. So I was advised to give an increase, but that I could not give the higher levels because those would denote exceeded expectations or outstanding because there is nothing to base that on. How much you ask about it depends how vulnerable you feel I guess, but having been on the other side, its not easy.

Don’t jump ship without serious consideration for next steps

I’m sorry you feel like this @Bre1ally 😢.

Good luck with your job search. I hope things get better for you 🙂

Don’t jump, you’ll have more issues to get new job, and learn ropes. At least I have 9 yrs security. You won’t get a big payoff for no reason.

Easier stay where you are. Try focus on what you can control.

Don’t overthink every little thing. Some people just stupid and don’t know still get a raise on mat leave. People who haven’t had a baby at work make a lot of stupid assumptions/ think you are lucky have time off etc.

New boss prob doesn’t know what others did while you were on leave (other employees might have worked on project h don’t know about). You can’t know or change what happened while u were gone.

Re-focus your efforts, stay out of gossip (colleagues might love winding u up about pay, there are shit stirrers at every job).

Focus only on what you can control.

@Autumnismyfavouritetimeofyear is right. You need to understand more about the criteria for the increase before you make any rash decisions. Sometimes there’s a flat, basic increase that everyone gets, sometimes it’s performance related, and other times it is a combination of both. I’ve also known it where it’s been calculated on a sliding scale, so everyone earning under x amount got a higher % increase, then over x amount the % reduced on a sliding scale. It could be that you were already on more than the others and this pay rise brings you all in line.
The thing to really ask yourself is were you satisfied with your pay rise before you knew about the others? If you were then is it worth sticking your head above the parapet for? You need this job and even if you don’t enjoy it the same since returning you need to prioritise it differently. You can’t just jack it in in haste the way you could before when you have a child and large outgoings.
For now, I’d focus on the things you can control. Like is there a way to decrease your outgoings so that if a better opportunity came along where you might have to take a pay cut you could afford to make the leap.

What industry?