Just enjoy life as it is?

[Justforthisone4]

I’ve come to this point in my life. I’m 57. I do love my husband and I love my kids. I don’t really fancy my husband any more. We’ve grown apart a little bit but I do love him. We don’t have sex very often. Mainly because of me going through menopause and I’m not that interested. He’s a great dad and great husband.
I feel happy to settle and am waiting atm for my daughter to have a child in a couple of months.
I just want to be there for my family and am happy to settle.
Me and my husband have a great social life. I have lots of my own friends who I go out with regularly.
But I’m starting to think should there be something more?

I thought exactly this at 55 (apart from I quite enjoy sex) and retrained as a counsellor 🙂
Gave my life deep meaning.

Yes if you are both happy why not.

Something more? Like what OP? Can you pinpoint what is missing?

I'm younger 37 and feel like this a lot. Glad I'm not the only one. I crave attention and excitement so much but wouldn't risk the status quo (although I have dreamt about it). The great human dilemma eh

Happiness is whatever you perceive it to be.

What ‘more’ are you thinking of? New ambitions or new professional directions? Ending your marriage and dating? Running seven marathons on seven continents in seven days?

FOMO is real, even in happy 57 year olds!

It's fine if you're content. But would studying, taking up a challenge or learning a new skill add some more depth to life for you?

Do you work? Volunteer? What do you do that's not about your husband and daughter?

I wouldn't worry about not having sex that often. It's not like you're randy teenagers anymore. As others have mentioned, maybe you need a project or challenge, something to vitally absorb you. I don't believe people can be fully satisfied in life by passively "enjoying" themselves all the time.

I'm 45, husband three decades older, married for 20 years, no more sex and couldn't be happier.
Security of a very good marriage and freedom from most stuff, sex included.
Choices are here, up to you what rocks your boat!

A job? Is that what you mean?

Thanks for your replies everyone. It’s helping me to try and pinpoint why I am feeling like this. I do have a job which I work 2 days a week in the office and I enjoy it. It’s a perfect work/life balance.
I have no right to question my life really as I know I have it so much easier/better than a lot of people.

Are you very close to your daughter? If you are only working a few days a week you could quite easily absorb yourself in your new grandchild!
If not, find an all encompassing hobby. What did you desperately want to do as a child but couldn't? Horse riding can be a huge commitment if you want it to be!
Personally I wouldn't be throwing a solid marriage/lifestyle away at almost 60 on the off chance I was missing something. I would like my later decades to be as comfortable as possible and if that means staying with someone who doesn't set my world on fire but is solid and dependable so be it.

You haven't said much about you. You seem more focused on the others in your life. Maybe that needs to change?

Of course there can be something more. But that doesn't have to be instead. It can be in addition. I think you can value what you have. Don't belittle it by calling it settling. You have a strong marriage and family dynamic. The marriage has moved away from the physical. You might want to do something about that. But if you are both happy about it, you don't have to.

If you love each other, start doing fun things together - set yourself small achievable challenges and projects - places you want to visit, things you want to build or create or learn or complete. Do some individually and support each other's plans, and do some together as a couple, and some as a big family, so you continue the bond with your adult children.

I sometimes wonder if people think they have to bust up what they already have in order to create change. I don't want to do that. I want to stay married to DH but have a few adventures of my own and a few with him, and with my adult kids. Lots to look forward to.

Is it boredom? Are you bored?

Are you thinking this because you actually feel there's something missing or because society's/SM portrayal of happiness is more, more ,more?

I am so glad I posted in here. All of the answers are great and really thought provoking. Thank you