To be really annoyed at people who say crap then pretend they’re joking

[whatiswrongwitg]

I work in a school in the office part time. I finished on Thursday and I was saying goodbye to everyone and a TA (teaching assistant) asked me if I’m coming in on Friday and I explained no I’m not as I’m part time.

She got really annoyed and said it’s not fair I don’t have to come in when she’s been told she must as it’s staff training. She was really ranting which worried me as I started doubting. I went to see the headteacher and asked if I need to go in and he told me ofcourse I don’t as it’s my non-working day. I saw the TA again who tells me “you need to chill out, I was just joking”. She also said I’m really lucky I get away with being part time!

It really upset me as I’ve shared with this TA my anxieties and life situation and she knows the reason I am part time. I’ve spent my day off feeling guilt I don’t work Fridays. How would you deal with someone like this?

Just ignore. It's end of term and people in schools are stressed as you know and probably ready to crash. Don't take it to heart.

It's also often the case that Part time TAS and teachers end up coming in for inset days so she probably just wasn't thinking straight.

It's the end of term, everyone's grouchy. She meant she felt jealous that shebjad to worn and you don't, which is what she meant by the PT comment too. You are lucky, in her eyes, to be able to work less, whatever the reasons for that are.

You pull away and stop being friends because she's obviously not really a friend to you.

She's talking crap in any case because she works part time - all those on Term Time Only contracts are part time - it's just your pt hrs are different to hers.

How would you deal with someone like this?

Roll my eyes and instantly forget about it.

Toughen up.

You sound very sensitive. People chat shit. You need to not take everything randoms say so seriously.

Thank you all. It wasn’t just a throwaway comment I could ignore. She was ranting for a while and also asked me who actually told me I don’t have to come in. She really worried me. Considering I though of her as a friend and she knows the stress I am currently going through there was no need for that.

Fwiw, on most term time contracts, inset not being on your working say doesn't necessarily mean you don't need to work. If, for example you're on a 39 week contract 3 days pw, you should work 3 out of 5 inset days. If they all fall on Fridays, you need to work 3, even if that's your non working day.

I agree, it's annoying when people do that. But a lot of people do it. You have to learn to ignore it. But I do understand why you wanted to check.

As a sidenote, you say that you have shared your anxieties and life situation with this TA. I may be in a minority, but I wouldn't share that kind of information at work.

I don’t think you need to toughen up. I think she should be less of an arsehole.

She's not a friend.

Sorry she was a prat, but try to move past it now.

She's being a bovine.

This difficult situation has caused you to become harassed and if you feel that is the case then follow the schools' harassment policy so, put a complaint in writing about this womens' conduct which is caused by jealousy. She has knocked you off guard, belittled you then she chose to gaslight you into believing she was only joking when she was hell bent on making you feel guilty for having Fridays off work, as per your contract.......the head teacher will back you up with this because they have acknowledged this already.....as per your post.

She should be pulled up on her atrocious conduct, as its crucial you and your colleagues work well together which is virtually impossible when this woman suddenly has a hissy fit like a toddler throwing a tantrum in the work place.

She needs to change her attitude, some people have to learn these lessons the hard way and she's one of them.

Hope this helps.

It's one of those things people do when they realise they've overstepped the mark. Nobody believes they were actually joking but it's just a way of getting out of the situation. Ignore it, she sounds a bit wound up in general .

Nope, the hours of 3 out of 5 would need working (e.g. if 0.6) but they can't expect someone to come in on a non working day. There could be another employment contract or personal circumstances on those days. They can ask if it's possible and come to a mutually agreeable arrangement, but it's not up to them.

How would I deal with it? I’d say ‘Don’t fret Jenny, when you’re sorting the crayons tomorrow I’ll be thinking of you with my feet up having a cuppa and watching Netflix. Cheerio! I’m outta here.

They can and they do, that's how TT contracts are written.

Yup it's really common in teaching to do a proportion of training days regardless of the days worked.

People have bad days. They get tired, frustrated, resentful, scared, they get PMT, constipated, anaemic, headaches ... If they let it out to a friend and the friend feels like they should have considered her troubles instead, they feel bad because they are a friend. So they say they didn't mean it.

It's swings and roundabouts. Try not to make it all about your hurt feelings, just forget it as one of those things.

Shouldn't be if the school follows STPCD. All directed time must fall on days teachers are normally contracted to work.