To think my friend is a cf for not wishing not wishing me happy birthday?

[JennaRink]

My friend has made a habit of visiting me a lot in recent years and we often spend my birthday together.

This year she booked a concert in my city on my birthday and asked to stay with me. She didnt buy me a ticket as well though. I thought this was odd but told her I would be away - she asked if she could be cheeky and stay at my home while I was gone.

So I agreed and today she is at my home. She's been posting lots of stories from my home tagging me in them about all the relaxing and fun things she's doing but hasn't even said happy birthday. AIBU?

We've been friends for 15 years and she's never missed it once. I spent considerable time making the place nice for her.

Oh dear, ignore the title typo!

She's obviously forgotten. Remind her

Hopefully she means to do something for you later/ will remember later x happy birthday op

@Funkyslippers she's never forgotten in 15 years and today she does?

Oh the day im not there because of my birthday. I'm not saying it's malicious but it's not nice either.

She sounds self absorbed

There is nothing cheeky about forgetting someone's birthday.

@WallaceinAnderland Even though you’re staying in their home??

Agreed this is the clincher

If she has remembered your birthday for 15 years and always celebrated it you can surely give her a pass this time for forgetting it once.

OP if you don't think she has forgotten, then what do you think has happened? That a very good friend of several years is deliberately ignoring your birthday? What is your reasoning for thinking she would do that. Surely most likely is that she has forgotten.

This.

The word "cheeky" is seriously misused on here these days.

It's the fact we spoke last night and she knows I'm not there because it's my birthday today.

She's staying in my home and it has hurt my feelings. I think it's bollocks to have forgotten but I suppose I want exactly end the friendship over it.

No way has she forgotten! She needs to be told to leave and find the nearest hotel, she is not a friend.

Can't tell if sarcasm. I think sarcasm.

Have you definitely said the word birthday? Like "I won't be there because it's my birthday", "I'm going away for my birthday", "it's my birthday today"? Because unless you've fallen out or she has form for being a CF/petty then it sounds like she's forgotten. If I were you I'd just mention it's my birthday and see what she says! Then report back

Yes she knows.

Maybe she will later!

I should probably just go and enjoy my birthday shouldn't I...

Yes!

I can't believe people are excusing a friend of 15 years who never misses it normally. She clearly has had this concert she wanted to go to but didn't want to go with OP (or more likely, just wanted to go with someone else) and wanted somewhere to crash. "Ignoring" the birthday so she can take advantage of that is just so she doesn't have to admit to herself that her behaviour is pretty mean.

@JennaRink I wouldn't be telling her she has to leave but I'd probably just send her a message saying "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, can't wait to see what birthday gift you've left me!"

If she doesn't even leave you a thank you gift then you have your answer about whether or not she really wants to be friends.

Yes. How are you sure she knows?

Surely you get home and she has left you a card and present.

People forget things. And she's forgotten your birthday. It's a bit thoughtless as she's staying in your house, but its not being a CF - it's just a bit thoughtless.
Advocate for yourself and make it clear that it's your birthday and you at the very least expect a small token to celebrate and thank you for the stay when you return (e.g. a bottle of fizz in the fridge, a bunch of flowers etc.).
"Hi Edna, glad you're having a nice time. It's a shame I'm not there to see you, but I'm sure you understand as it's my birthday today. Hope you enjoy your concert and I can't wait to see what birthday treat you've got for me!".

If she then fails to acknowledge the birthday and doesn't even leave a note/card or a small treat for you then she's a massive CF.

I don't understand why you can't talk to a good friend and ask if she forgot your birthday.

Have you said "I'm doing x for my birthday today" "Having birthday drinks at z bar later" "Treating myself to a cake for my birthday"? If she definitely knows it's your birthday today is it possible she has simply forgotten, amongst several messages, that she hasn't actually said "Happy birthday"?

Anyway, happy birthday from me. Hope you have a great day.

Text her "sorry Sandra, I can't keep checking social media now, I'm out celebrating my birthday. Enjoy the concert." And then she'll definitely know.

She's likely forgotten, it's hurtful but probably not intentional. I've been there and it's not nice.

Happy birthday, forget her for now and enjoy yourself.

I wasn’t being sarcastic if that’s what you assumed 🤷🏻‍♀️