More WWYD? Theft/fraud

[O6bftdff]

I have recently heard allegations that a friend of mine who is a chief exec of a charity has been stealing from said charity. The Board is aware and have said they’re going to spend some time getting their heads around it but will then contact the police.

My friend has been uncontactable for the past six weeks. I have no idea how much she knows the Board knows. I don’t think she knows that I know, but she’ll suspect I will soon.

I have always known her to be disorganised and chaotic, and had hoped the allegations would turn out to be incompetence rather than intentional stealing, but I know now that if the allegations are true they cannot be accidental.

WWYD? Entirely cut them off from now?

Unless there is more to it I would probably wait and see if charges are pressed. If someone’s made a mistake and she’s innocent, it’s not going to be nice for her if all her friends drop her. OTOH, if she’s guilty then yes, I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who would steal from a charity (or from their employer). Or steal full stop.

I cut my friend off for stealing money out of a till at work. I knew the business owner as I worked next door and when they were short staffed, I mentioned it to my friend who was looking for work at the time. So the whole situation made me feel like I was the one taking money out of the till even though it happened couple of years after I moved to another city. I never spoke to her again after hearing what'd happened.

Wait and see. Say nothing, in case you accidentally give her information that she shouldn't have (and nobody should have told you anything in the first place, as it could affect the likelihood of a fair trial if it goes as far as prosecution).

And then cut her off.

I would want to hear her side of the story. But not until the outcome of the investigation. If it turned out she was guilty, and didn't have a very very plausible reason then I'd not want to be friends anymore. I once knew a girl that got done for stealing a million from the bank where she worked. But she got off Scot free as she said her crack head boyfriend coerced her into doing it!

Why would me knowing have any impact on a fair trial?

Wow!

I do think she’ll try and lie her way out of it. I have always thought she was a liar, but it was always petty, disorganised lies (like now her husband is claiming they’ve both deleted Facebook. They haven’t. Their pages are still there and you can see when they’re active.)

@O6bftdff Yeah, in that case I'd say she's blown it with you fully now. There's no trust. If she said her house was on fire you would think twice before calling the emergency services. That shows she's fucked your relationship. Just do not listen to another word she says I think is probably the best option.

It depends on your friendship - if you are close and she is a wonderful friend then no.
Offending often has a reason.
You can still like and care for friends even though they have made a grave decision and harmed others ( the charity)
There is a really excellent AMA about a woman’s experience of prison.

Because you might give her a heads up of something she doesn't know yet.

Or could tell somebody else, maybe put a post up on the internet that she reads and realises it's her you're talking about and they need to cover their tracks more/are now aware that they're going to be reported to the Police if she didn't know already - or somebody in the Jury could think 'I remember reading about this on Mumsnet, she's absolutely guilty, her friend said so' and persuade the others who were still unsure to go with a guilty verdict...

Things like that.