To be pssed off with fake people after my diagnosis

[DreadPirateRoberta]

Hi
I just came here for a rant really.
So i have had an illness for a while but recently took a turn where things arent going to improve

And I feel I am suddenly surrounded by fake people. This sounds so awful but
fake family members who would not have given me time of day before

I feel like I am surrounded by grief mongers.

My sister Becky showed up last week - the first time she has aknowledged my existance in a couple of years and has literally always treated me like crap - and I mean some really bad stuff over the years. I have been physically and mentally attacked by her even as adults. Spread rumours, spread lies, the lot amd contact over the years as adults has been sporadic - Eventually after being accused of something (that was obviously not true as the conversation was via email and there was proof this didnt happen) - eventually i just stopped contact and grey rocked her for my own sanity

A family member happened to mention yesterday about the status that had been put up on socials last night (by Becky) - saying what will she do, her sister is being called to heaven and she needs therapy to cope ...and some other stuff that i did not want public, i didnt want my diagnosis public

This all seems fake to me and i want it to stop.

AIBU, am i being a right cow? I dont want peopel turning up at my funeral crying that have spent their entire, and i mean entire life, hating on me and everything I have ever said or done and trying to turn people against me. Even at school she would spread lies and gossip about me, and even as recently asking my Husband why he had married 'the likes of her'

It is all too much. lets get real and she needs to pss off

If you can’t tell people to piss off when you’re dying then when can you?

try to focus on those who you want to be spending time with. Keep yourself away from the grief vultures.

take care of yourself

Well if you can't set the record straight now and speak the truth from your POV when can you?

I'd call them out on the bullshit and give them the 🖕

The first line of that actually made me smirk

Thank you

I just want things to be normal and this IS that x

You are not being a cow, your sister is a bloody huge bovine, and many more things to boot, and you have every right to be bloody furious with her! How dare she?! What a two faced attention seeking blow hard she is! I hope she gets called on this by somebody, in a very hard, very loud, impossible to ignore way!

I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this on top of a situation that must already be so hard to deal with, and come to terms with.

@Sirzy and @BMW6 are spot on, @DreadPirateRoberta.

And you have every right to decide now what sort of funeral you will be having, and who will be invited to it. Make sure that the people you want there, will be there, and to hell with the rest! The fake people and people who have made your life a misery do NOT have the right to act all grief stricken at your funeral - they don't have the right to know anything about it.

Exactly. Focus on what you need and want. You can’t control other people’s bizarre, self-regarding grief vampirism, but there’s no reason not to respond in whatever way suits you best.

Social Media has turned so many people into rabid attention seekers. Definitely tell her to take it down.

“I am deeply hurt that my sister has felt it necessary to share my news in order to court sympathy for herself. It’s done now so I will try and keep you all updated via my own account in future”

Something like this, if your sister has not been in your life for the last couple of years is it going to be a great loss.

Play her at her own game and use the opportunity to post daily about how you are doing and how you are feeling.

My beautiful little sister is currently on end of life pathway with only weeks to live. I have absolutely no intention of posting on social media. Her DH has used Facebook to reach out to her network of friends and our family to keep everyone updated but only with her permission.
When I had breast cancer I used Facebook to keep family updated because I didn’t want my DH & DS to be answering the phone 24/7.
But at no point were posts worded to garner sympathy and support, purely to inform and to ask that they support my DH & DS if they were looking sad.

That is beautifully written

So sorry about your sis. it must be awful x

I have been given a life-limiting diagnosis and feel like the vultures are circling, too.
i have been NC with toxic family members also. It’s so difficult…

Wishing you (and everyone else in your tough situation) strength and peace for the rest of your life x

My extended family is like this. They not unkind, but they are competitive grievers. It's all about them.

I'm so sorry OP.