To avoid friends new boyfriend because he gives me the ick??

[Lookslikemeemaw]

By referring to women as ‘females’??
He’s a personal trainer and talks about ‘the females’ that take some of his classes but he seriously gives me the ick with his ‘ I had 4 females in, all wanting to do weights’ etc.

i find him really off putting!

I absolutely hate this too - and always think Female whats? giraffes? chipmonks? Why don't people (men mostly) just say women? I'd be tempted to put him right, lightly but definitely that there is nothing wrong with the woman word.

Just say ‘Women, Nigel! We’re women!’ every time he says ‘females’. Either he’ll stop or your friend will crack and ensure your paths never cross again.

Some people, not all of them men, seem to really struggle with the word ‘women’. My mother thinks it’s rude, that when you stop referring to someone as a girl, they start being a ‘lady’. For her, ‘woman’ has class connotations.

Second the class explanation - 'my woman' used to be shorthand for 'woman who cleans' or 'woman wot does'. But there is also misogyny there for sure - a woman is assumed to be intrinsically 'less than'.

It's a bit like older people saying 'coloured' instead of 'black', which in the same way betrays the racism of the speaker even as they are trying to be polite. They don't like to say 'black' because in their mind it is an insult - it points out the person's 'natural' low status. It's better to use a euphemism which they perceive as sidestepping the issue.

I find it equally awful and I do correct people.

It also annoys me when people on here call men males

Reminds me of Friday Night Dinner 😂

Yes and you'll often see on Mumnset and hear in real life, people talking about a 'white woman', and an 'Asian lady' or a 'black lady'.

It's strangely irritating, like they're 'othering' them.

Yes and you'll often see on Mumnset and hear in real life, people talking about a 'white woman', and an 'Asian lady' or a 'black lady'.
Exactly @OhMyGollyGoshGosh - as if it's just about ok to be non-white OR non-male, but both is such a terrible misfortune they can't bring themselves to point it out.

Have you told him? I have a friend who used a similarly annoying turn of phrase when I first knew him. After a few times I just said "X you have to stop saying that" and he has.

🤣🤣🤣. Said in a "Martin" voice

Female is a biological fact. Do you also squirm when people talk about the sex of their baby for example?

Some people use Male/Man interchangeably, I do that.

Literally never heard someone describe their baby as female.

Perhaps in a zoo.

To avoid someone over something this minor seems extreme. Is he otherwise a good guy / treats your fried well?

I thought this was a generational thing!

My dad and MIL both say it in a slightly derogatory way. I detest it.

Do you need to completely avoid him over it though? Bit dramatic.

Ha ha I voted YABU until I read this comment.
Changed my vote.

Ugh. I don't blame you. I can't imagine a man ever saying "oh, I had several males come into the gym today"! I'd just say "you can just say women, Nick" next time and see if he still does it.

I'd just correct him in a no-nonsense, slight eye rolls way. It's not the ideal word but a lot of people use "females" unthinkingly with no derogatory intent. It's not that big of a deal.

There's a certain type of feminist who will go to war over words like "females" and "girls" as if they're the most important gender issues of our day. (Almost every time I've heard someone refer to "the girls" it's a woman, usually a jolly hockey sticks sporty one who neither knows nor cares about pedantic online discourse.)

"The ick" is a worse phrase to use, or misuse in this case as it refers specifically to off-putting behaviour in a dating or romantic context. If you don't like the guy just say you don't like him.

Would annoy me too but surely you can suck it up for a friend? I know a young lad through my sport who was talking about dating and saying he couldn’t find any ‘females’ he liked. I suggested he dropped chasing sheep, badgers etc and just sought out women. All females is such a big dating pool! He laughed and hasn’t said it since so humour is not a bad idea to get this silly phrase packed in.

I always suspect the type who do this like to think that their powers of logic and reason are superior to other people’s, and that secretly they think they’d have made good military leaders. Bit pathetic, really. I tell you the type, the trainee PCSO from The Outlaws.

He probably used to call them 'girls' and got told off for that, some people don't like 'ladies' and some don't like 'women', but I agree females sounds bad, but maybe he is trying to avoid any sexual connotation, trainers are often fit and he may want to emphasis keeping his distance. Or it might be straight off his spreadsheet x number of females and y number of males on z course. Tell him you don't like it.

You can of course do what you want, but this is such a non-issue to me.
What do you do when you come across an actual misogynyst?
Like if you know they watch porn or have been to a strip club?
Then I’d understand you’d get the ’ick’ and want to stay away from them…

This seems common among PTs and gym owners. Not sure who told them to start saying “females” but they’re all at it!

Female what? Is the only response to that. Then 'Oh, you mean women' in a surprised tone every time.

YANBU, he sounds like misogynistic muppet.

I know! And it’s weird there and the ‘sons’ cringe every time he says it…

He’s a bit, creepy for want of a better word. Just something off I don’t like. So perhaps it‘s more that… ‘females’ is just part of it.

I hate it. It's got red pill/incel vibes.