To just want to stay home - hand hold needed

[KangaRoo00]

Just need a hand hold or a cuddle today - I feel like death warmed up, achey, heavy head, so so tired & I really need to stay at home in the warm. DD6 is sulking because she wants to go somewhere. I have no support or anyone I can ask to help out, I would do anything for someone to come pick her up and take her out for a day of fun and entertainment so I can rest.

I feel so guilty as I had to WFH yesterday while being mum & she floated around my desk pretty much all day so didn't get as much work done as I needed. Her school closed for half term Wednesday so had to make arrangements with work.

I feel so incredibly guilty that she is going to be bored for another day, & she will now sulk for the entirety. I just can't do it all, days like today I feel like I'm drowning because It's like I'm not allowed a sick day, she's too young to understand. I've said we will do baking or crafts etc but it's not good enough. I just want to be allowed to be unwell for a day.

Just need words of support I guess.

She is definitely not too young to understand. Boredom is great for kids (and adults) and it's a useful skill to learn to occupy yourself in absence of constant entertainment. No need to feel guilty.

One of my least favourite things about being a mum is that you never get to be sick anymore. It’s so hard. Please don’t feel guilty. You are obviously a lovely caring mum who does plenty of things on other days. Your daughter does need to learn that everything isn’t always about her (my six yr old would be exactly the same). Could you do a kids film at the cinema and maybe have a sneaky nap while she watches the film? Hope you feel better soon. 🔜

Let her sulk. She's 6yo and old enough to find something to do. Stick on a movie, set up some arts and crafts. You're sick and she needs to learn that sometimes she will have to entertain herself.

@tiredandbaggy but taking her to the movies is her getting her way. Op is feeling very sick and the last thing she should be doing is going to the movies. Also I think it's quite martyrish 'mums can't get sick'.

Baking and crafts is a great offer, don't feel guilty!

We are having an at home day today, just crafts, some TV, DD1(5) is drawing, we might watch a film together later on with some popcorn.

Poor you.
Look after yourself first. Dose yourself up with paracetamol etc. Can you get hold of soup, nice tea, fluffy socks, whatever makes you feel better.

Then plan some stuff for her. Divide up the day. You've made lovely suggestions, do that for the morning then movie afternoon?
Can she do something like Just Dance to tire her out ?

Feel better soon

I don't think 6 is too young to understand that you're sick and don't want to go out. Personally I think it sounds like a movie/tv day with snacky meals, baking and crafts sounds like way too much when you're unwell.

It is good enough and you are the parent, it's ok for the your dd to learn that the whole world doesn't revolve around her and to learn some empathy for someone who is sick. Has she been ill recently and wanted to stay in bed? Try reminding her of that.

Whilst you might not have anyone you can ask for help with childcare, why don't you message the parents of one of DD's friends and see if they're able to come over for a play date? I always found mine were much more likely to leave me alone if they had a friend over at this sort of age and all I had to do was as intervene occasionally if I overheard them getting a bit tetchy over a particular game and make some pasta. The same solution worked if my two DC we're getting annoyed with each other - introduce another child into the mix and suddenly they would all have fun.

Definitely don't feel guilty. A bit of boredom is great for kids. Also, she's having a good bit of practice dealing with disappointment, and learning that other people sometimes have to come first. Rather than getting sucked into the mum guilt, try a different perspective and think about what she can learn from today that will make her a more compassionate, patient adult

Ignore her. As others have said, she's old enough to know what being ill is. Being another day at home, or even another few days at home, is not a big deal and you shouldn't feel guilty.

Op, I mean this kindly, but you need to stop feeling guilty. Stick the TV on for her and you get some rest. Job done. No rules for today, you are ill

Op, I sympathise. My 7 year old is really good at entertaining himself, the only issue is he hates going out (he's ND so it overwhelms him if we do too much). But my 5 year old on the other hand, wants to be out ALL of the time and will incessantly winge. When he gets like this I tell him if he is that bored, we will donate all of his toys to charity as other children will love playing with them. Suddenly, he is playing with them!

I always find getting crafts out and letting him crack on with that at the table can work. At 6 they can still need a bit help with baking, which wouldn't be helpful. With the crafts your dd can tidy up when she is finished too.
If you have a garden you could encourage her to go out there and ride her bike etc

As others have said she is old enough to understand "mummy isn't well, not going out today, will go out when feeling better."

How is she supposed to go to the cinema if she’s sick?

Massive hand hold. Being sick as a mum is really hard.

Is there some sort of local holiday club you could sign her up for, even if just for the day? Or does she have a friend whose parents might be willing to have her for a few hours just to get her out? Or do any of your neighbours have a responsible teenager also on half term who'd be happy to earn £10 by taking her to a park for a run around and get a hot chocolate or something to get her out for a bit?

But if you can't to any of those things, then don't worry. She is 6. If all else fails, let her have a movie marathon. Or give her some sheets to drape over furniture to make herself a house / tent and she can play at that. Don't worry if she is making things untidy, worry about that when you feel better.

She really is not too young to understand Mum is ill, can't go out today and needs some consideration.

Is their a friends house she could go to, you could have feedback back another day?

If not she gets a day watching TV and eating junk.

Op I was heavily pregnant with a complicated pregnancy when my 6yo ds was on summer holidays!
Well as much as I felt bad, I also took this as an opportunity to teach him that we need to consider other family members as well. I was limited as to what I could do and he spent a lot of time entertaining himself or just being in the garden with me, some play dates. But that was one summer in his life and I thought that he will have others . I really can't stand this martyr stuff that mums don't get a day off or break etc. such nonsense, also teaching your child that the world revolves around them. No wonder so many selfish teens Around. Let her sulk and learn that it won't get her anywhere.

I was utterly deathed up a few weeks back on a weekend. Spent most of the day laid up on the sofa or on my bed.. DD was kept entertained with dressing up gear, crafts, Nintendo switch and a lot of screen time! I did feel a bit guilty but I realised I'm not super woman. She was safe, happy and most importantly she was just happy to be with me. We ended up watching copious episodes of Mr Bean in the evening with a chicken nugget dinner.
You're allowed to be sick OP. Don't beat yourself up. Its once in a blue moon, not every day.

She's 6 not 6 months! She can be bored for a day it's good for them.

6 is not too young to understand that you’re ill and you need to stay home. Might would have got a telling off at that age if they’d kicked off about not going out. Ask her how she would feel if she was poorly but you made her go out.

It’s a day for films on the tv, stories, playing quietly. Hope you’re much better tomorrow!

Sulking sounds nice and quiet.

I think baking sounds lovely but in your position I'd consider that a lovely treat for her not the bare minimum. Baking and crafts required tidying up. Screen time whether telly or a tablet does not. You could download a new game perhaps?

Could you print out some Halloween pictures and decorations she could colour and make, raid the craft box for pom-poms and pipe cleaners or some thing for spiders, cut out a string of bats and witches hats to colour and decorate the house or her room.

a little early maybe for Halloween but why not.

Why do you not get to be sick? My mum was hospitalised with Hep C when I was 3, had scarlet fever when I was 5. She was a single parent too, I had to be shipped abroad to stay with grandparents when she was in hospital and when she had scarlet fever, she spent most of her time in bed and I had to entertain myself. Was it amazing? No. But it wasn't traumatic either. We cuddled, I read or doodled quietly in mum's room while she dozed. Neighbour dropped shopping to us for a few days. It's fine to be sick. I certainly wouldn't expect her to ferry me to the movies.

She'll get over it, being bored is good for kids it makes them find something to do. Too much is arranged for kids today, they need to be able to think and explore things themselves. I'd stop worrying, grab a lemsip and tell her you'll do something nice together when you're better.

Thank you so much, she's been indirectly letting me know how bored she is all day but to be honest I've ignored it. I've barely got up from the sofa. I'm never like this so obviously needed it. I've promised we will go out tomorrow anyhow.

It's tough being a mum, let alone a single one. I remember when I was her age my mum would make me stay in my room on days she couldn't be arsed with me when she was sick.

Thanks for all the words of wisdom x