Ive always been patient and understanding of the very long days and nights. We always used to talk on the phone. Two years ago he was an idiot and i found out her had been sending the odd message asking for pics to women on snapchat etc. i think most of them contacted him first and were trying to recruit for their onlyfans pages. Which he should t have even opened them let alone responded, there is no justification for what he did. As it was only asking for pics(which i am still totally broken by, and really not doing well at all) here i am hanging on in there trying not to throw it all away. A year down the line from finding out i was still not great but doing my best to deal with it myself, then the contractor he works for 6/9months of the year announced ‘ i may of done something stupid, i have employed a girl’ hearing them words crushed me. Said girl is still there a year later, cannot understand why, because if she was a male she would have been sacked by now. But said girl now has hr long conversations on the phone several times a day, sends messages even when shes working in a different county. So its not work related, she is with others that could help if she needs work related chat. The males that work there may ring him for 5-10 mins at a time and thats okay isnt it, obviously they are male. Why does it annoy me so much. We used to talk lots on the phone. But she got 3 hrs yesterday, plus whatever she sent on whatsapp and i got a ten min call when he was on way home for the night. From a tiktok shes sent him, he is obviously saying things to her that i just do not think he should be trusting her with, shes under 20 and he is over 30. I do not want to be jealous of phone calls. But im not stupid, he must be enjoying the conversations. I know if it was an office job or shop job he would be mixing with other women. But its just breaking my heart a little knowing another female is getting all that time working anything between 15-20hrs a day. I keep the farm running whilst he is contracting. Then i get to cook and then its bedtime for a few hrs sleep before im up to cook his pack up. None of which i mind or didnt until i ended up spending each day feeling like a mug. I like what i do. I just wish it didnt feel like i could be being taken for a mug. I know he is to blame for why its getting to me. He broke my trust and i am supposed to trusting again. But wow its hard. Im constantly battling with if my feelings are ok or if its from the fear of cheating. I do not really know the purpose of my post. Guess it was a rant 🤣