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AIBU?

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Farmers partner

4 replies

T52227 · 25/10/2024 11:42

Ive always been patient and understanding of the very long days and nights. We always used to talk on the phone. Two years ago he was an idiot and i found out her had been sending the odd message asking for pics to women on snapchat etc. i think most of them contacted him first and were trying to recruit for their onlyfans pages. Which he should t have even opened them let alone responded, there is no justification for what he did. As it was only asking for pics(which i am still totally broken by, and really not doing well at all) here i am hanging on in there trying not to throw it all away. A year down the line from finding out i was still not great but doing my best to deal with it myself, then the contractor he works for 6/9months of the year announced ‘ i may of done something stupid, i have employed a girl’ hearing them words crushed me. Said girl is still there a year later, cannot understand why, because if she was a male she would have been sacked by now. But said girl now has hr long conversations on the phone several times a day, sends messages even when shes working in a different county. So its not work related, she is with others that could help if she needs work related chat. The males that work there may ring him for 5-10 mins at a time and thats okay isnt it, obviously they are male. Why does it annoy me so much. We used to talk lots on the phone. But she got 3 hrs yesterday, plus whatever she sent on whatsapp and i got a ten min call when he was on way home for the night. From a tiktok shes sent him, he is obviously saying things to her that i just do not think he should be trusting her with, shes under 20 and he is over 30. I do not want to be jealous of phone calls. But im not stupid, he must be enjoying the conversations. I know if it was an office job or shop job he would be mixing with other women. But its just breaking my heart a little knowing another female is getting all that time working anything between 15-20hrs a day. I keep the farm running whilst he is contracting. Then i get to cook and then its bedtime for a few hrs sleep before im up to cook his pack up. None of which i mind or didnt until i ended up spending each day feeling like a mug. I like what i do. I just wish it didnt feel like i could be being taken for a mug. I know he is to blame for why its getting to me. He broke my trust and i am supposed to trusting again. But wow its hard. Im constantly battling with if my feelings are ok or if its from the fear of cheating. I do not really know the purpose of my post. Guess it was a rant 🤣

OP posts:
Pippyls67 · 26/11/2024 13:31

Awww I’m so sorry this has happened to you. It sounds bloody awful. It would drive anyone to tears. Honestly I think he’s messing you around. He’s clearly giving her way too much attention for it to be meaningless. You’re likely to get very hurt here. Even more than now. He needs to sack her if she’s replaceable as it’s inappropriate. If he values you he won’t blame you and say your insecure or your manipulating him, he’ll want to stop you from hurting and worrying. If he’s not interested in doing that you’ve got to ask yourself what he’s actually worth as a partner. The answer would be ‘Not much’. If that’s the case you’ll have a lifetime of misery and being mugged off with this man. You’re worth more than that. You know it deep down. Sorry Op, I just think you need a bit of a wake up call.

Pippyls67 · 26/11/2024 17:37

Maybe change the title of the post so it’s more about the issue then you’ll get more responses from other folk too. Something like partner employed a girl he seems too keen on. Good luck Op.

GrazingLamb · 26/11/2024 17:54

Something like partner employed a girl he seems too keen on

Her partner works for a contractor. It’s the contractor who has employed the woman.

Pippyls67 · 26/11/2024 18:02

GrazingLamb · 26/11/2024 17:54

Something like partner employed a girl he seems too keen on

Her partner works for a contractor. It’s the contractor who has employed the woman.

Oh I see. Tricky. This is bloody awkward. Sorry Op I misunderstood the original post. It’s a case of is he worth the anguish or not I guess. Will it be the case that he doesn’t need to interact with her for the few months of the year he’s not contracting? That’s the time when you’ll see if he’s still too close to her I guess.

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