Don't want to finish masters

[Jollofoldmaninaredsuit]

Currently doing my masters in a work related subject.
I am a single parent to two, full time full on job in the health service, work to do around my job for CPD (quite a bit, half a days work per week), elderly parents, three bed house to look after and not much money.
I started my masters for career progression but I just can't find any time to do the research, I'm really behind. Proposal is due in November. All my spare time is accounted for.
I just feel like quitting. People on my course say they feel the same, but with all due respect no one has as much on as me. People in my life say 'find time here and there' but it doesn't work like that, you need to be fully in it for hours. There's just no way I feel I can pull a dissertation together for June with my job getting more and more busy and no extra child free time. I use all my childcare time up working and all my annual leave this cover holidays.
I don't want to sacrifice my weekends, which I know is a choice and I'm sure others are, but I really need that time to decompress.

OK then do it. Only you can decide if its worth it or not

Does your organisation do study leave? Can you ask for some of this to be used to complete some study if it's work related?

Worth looking at

If you have made it through the first year already, quitting now is a mistake. I always say it to my students who come to me saying they want to quit two years in, it makes no sense. If your heart isn’t in it, quit during the first year when you haven’t really wasted much time/money.

You’re over half way through it now, get over the final few hurdles and muddle through. It will be worthwhile because it sets you apart from candidates who only have a bachelors. The world is increasingly becoming more competitive, UG degrees mean naff all now.

I say this as someone who did a PhD with three children and a job, it can be done.

I can understand your feelings as in a similar position and tempted to quit but determined to finish. I use any time available. Up at 5 every day to get studying in before, when children are occupied I'm studying. I even do work whilst sat in my car waiting for extra curricular activities. Only you can decide if you want to do it

Is there a chance you'd be up for taking a day of A/L each week up until you finish. And use that day to do the work?

I've just finished a masters and one of my course colleagues was working full time whilst studying. She found it very hard and would empathise greatly with you.

2 points occur to me

1. as a PP said, don’t try to over achieve with your dissertation by aiming for something groundbreaking. Ask your supervisor to help with a topic that is achievable given the constraints under which you are working. I put myself though a lot to get a distinction but I’m at a very different life stage, not working and no dependent children. I had the luxury of time (and still found it stressful). With what you are juggling, you want the qualification whilst retaining your mental health.
2. do ask for a significant extension. I’ve seen 4 month extensions offered. This can help take the pressure off.

But if it is all too much then there is no shame in stepping back (although I would look into deferring for a year say before finally deciding). You are dealing with a lot and only you know what you can cope with. Good luck - and well done for getting this far!

It’s a very personal decision and only you know how much else you can cope with. I haven’t had the luxury of full weekends ever since I started studying, so personally I would sacrifice those. I did my masters alongside full-time work and not even close to the amount of caring responsibilities you mention, and it still took me 3.5 years (would’ve been 2 years full-time), and I was never “on” for less than 6 days a week. Often on my day off I’d take the daytime hours to relax, and work / study the whole evening. I appreciate a day off with children isn’t really off though.

I don’t regret doing it because it opened doors I wouldn’t have had available without the masters. As a matter of fact I continued with another postgraduate programme that I’m doing over 3 years (instead of 2), alongside full-time work + a couple of freelancing projects that take up 20h a week easily.

Is it mad? Yes. Is it worth it? In my case also yes, but I do realise it wouldn’t be for everyone.

Can you intermit for 6-12 months so that you have a break and then pick it up again? This is quite common among our MA students who are juggling professional lives/family/studying and they usually go on to complete successfully.

Are you allowed study leave from work? You say you don’t want to give up your weekends. But when did you think you would have time to study ? In my experience, that’s what weekends were for. If you aren’t prepared to spend your weekends on your MA then you should definitely give it up. It would only be for a limited amount of time. If you aren’t prepared to make that sacrifice (what do you do at weekends?) then give it up.

If this is work related and they are funding it, it’s in the company’s interest to support you to complete it.

ask your line manager if you can defer the CPD modules until next year

see if they will give you some study leave

find out if there is a project at your comany that you could use for data for your dissertation , that way you might be able to write it up in work time.

I gave up mine. Prompted by a change of circumstances but I also realised that the reasons I wanted to do it in the first place were no longer there, I was only doing it because I'd wanted to do it three years before and thought I shouldn't throw away what I'd done - sunken costs fallacy really. I agonised about making the decision but absolutely no regrets.

People on my course say they feel the same, but with all due respect no one has as much on as me.

Everyone has their own shit going on, everyone has their own thresholds for what is manageable and what isn’t. Don’t be dismissive of what everyone else is going through because the fact that everyone else is struggling is telling you something, it’s a really big mental challenge. They are all in the same boat as you so lean on them for support and coping strategies. But they aren’t going to be a source of support if you’re dismissive of them.

Do it or don’t do it, only you can decide that. I wanted to quit my masters a lot and fell behind with research. I had to get an extension to the research component, which is the only extension I got despite being part time with everyone else being full time. My brother wanted to quit his full time masters. Most people do, regardless of circumstances.

I completed mine and I’ve never felt more proud of myself than at my masters graduation.

It sounds worth pressing on with. If you do then make the dissertation as easy as you can, and be open with your tutor that you need something you can pass with, not necessarily the most stimulating topic. Possible ways to do that are to a) choose a topic where a good literature review has recently been published, so that you don't have to spend a long time searching for all the relevant literature for an introduction as someone else has done that work, b) minimise data collection - has data already been collected that you can use (open data sets, part of a tutor's research project), and if not think about what will be easiest for you to collect in terms of recruitment, time and travel (you might want to think about qualitative research with a small number of participants, or online survey data), c) choose a research question that is similar to another well-designed and clearly written paper that you can model your own on, obviously not to the extent of plagiarism, but to provide an example of how the methodology should be written up etc. If you can do any or all of those you might be surprised at how painless a dissertation can be. I did the opposite, and still finished, but have supervised people in similar situations who we've managed to find a fairly painless (but still adequate!) route through the dissertation.

And as others have said, if you have any way of taking time off or reducing hours then definitely do that! Or ask for even a small amount of your work day/week to spend on study if that's possible.

Thanks everyone, some very valid points. I didn't mean to be dismissive of others but it's very different being unable to leave your young children alone in order to study.

I'm sorry what? you took a week off sick?

@CandyLeBonBon yes that's right. I did . An entire 5 days of sick leave. Interesting that is your take away.
I got a masters degree whilst working full time with 2 small children. A fact I am still proud of years down the line. My male colleagues spent more time that that on the golf course, "networking".
No fucks given.
I now spend my career helping younger women than me develop their careers with help and support.

There have been plenty people taken sick leave for far less and the stress of trying to juggle everything is a legitimate reason to take a short step back, protecting your mental health is a valid use of sick time.

You don’t have to do it, but if you want to then you will have to put some of your own time into it. Do it when your kids are a bit older

I know what stress looks like, thanks.

I have a colleague who has just completed his masters(2nd mad fool) he worked with his tutor on proposal so that the research could be done within the work setting for a couple of hours a week. We work in FE and it was interviewing learners(adults) about their experiences of maths.
Could yours be linked in such a way?

Speak to your tutors. Speaking as a lecturer with young DC, they may be in the same boat. I have to join the 5am club and work late into the night on weekends to get my research done.

My advice would be don't think you need hours in a row. You can genuinely do a lot in 15 mins. Sit down with a very detailed bullet point plan (goblin tools can help you make one) and work systematically though it 15 mins at a time. You'll get there.

Then why so incredulous that someone took some sick leave to relieve their stress?

You need to speak to your supervisor and explain where you're at.
I felt the same and my supervisor made a great plan with me. I was getting up at 4am to do it before work but it was enjoyable, once I faced the work I had to do and was honest with the course leaders. I got it completed - at the end I could probably have done more for my dissertation but just stopped when I felt it was right and submitted. I'm glad I did it now. Also worked full time with kids. You can do it op.

Completed Masters while teaching FT. Children were a bit older but as soon as they were in bed I sat down to study for a couple of hours most nights (other nights I marked books!). Wished I hadn’t started it but was very proud when I finished, especially as I’d financed it myself. In retrospect though I probably wouldn’t have done it at that time. See if you can defer to give yourself time to offload some responsibilities for a while.