Phone calls from ex

[Netttyy]

Happy to be told I'm being unreasonable, I just wanted to get peoples perspective on this!

I've been with my boyfriend for around 6 months although I've know him as a friend for years. He's got 2 DC with his ex, 15 and 18. They've been split up for 10 years. I've got one DC with my ex, who is 17.

He has his DC 50/50 although it actually works out that he has them more.

I see him around 3 times a week. The last few weeks we've been seeing each other earlier in the evening due to a change in working hours. Every time I've seen him in these past few weeks his ex has rang him not long after I've got there/he's come to mine. I can't hear what she's saying but it's definitely about their kids and they're talking for around 5 minutes.

I'm guessing I've only noticed this recently as I've been seeing him earlier. She seems to ring when her new-ish boyfriend isn't with her (please don't ask how I know this as it'd be outing!).

Do other people speak to their kids other parent this often? It could be that I just feel a little uncomfortable as I don't have that kind of relationship with my DC's Dad. We are amicable and always have been but most contact now DC is older is done between them and their Dad, there isn't much need for me to speak to him and certainly not 3 times or more a week.

I'd be interested to know peoples thoughts!

I think it’s unreasonable, that she needs to call him this much , when the dc are teenagers .

I don't think it's unreasonable at all (including when teenagers, I don't have one but teenagers sound tricky).

It's not half as much as they'd be communicating about the kids if they were still together. Sounds like they're doing a good job really.

I don't think you need to worry.

Never spoke to my ex since the day I moved out. Didn't even text past secondary school age....

Having an amicable relationship is rare, they should be commended for it. As you say, the calls are in relation to the children and 5 minute calls. Nothing to worry about at all.

Normal in our situation. My partner and his ex broke up 13 years ago, they exchange messages and calls about their shared child most days. They co-parent beautifully.

It seems perfectly normal to me. It's better for the kids if they get on.

I think it's great that they are able to co-parent amicably. If she's ringing about the children I think that's perfectly fine. It's a 5 minute call so not like she's monopolising all his time.

In order to co-parent beautifully, you have to communicate. Just because you don't have that relationship with your ex, or that people in this thread dont have that experience, it doesn't mean that's how their world works. They have a working relationship that has been in effect for a decade.

YABU to think that their working co-parenting arrangement should change because you've come into the picture mere months before.

You've acknowledged the calls are about the kids, that there isn't calls not concerning the children. It's their co-parenting arrangement, and more importantly its been working for a decade and rightly so their children's life's should take priority to a new relationship taking offence.

You're 6 months in. Let their co-parentling continue unhindered. If they had wanted to resurrect the relationship; it would have happened in the last decade.