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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

ds wants to dye hair

18 replies

maggie61 · 24/04/2008 20:21

my ds 13 years wants this, used a temporary red dye last night on his fringe, does nt like that several washes today still there, thats one reason i have said no, also he has a bad flaky scalp i think will be irritated by the dye, and thirdly in less than 2 weeks he is having corrective ear surgery so i don,t think we should mess.

Icould nt cope on saturday in aasda and brought a dyevery stupid but just could nt do with the arguing anyway pester, pester all week and now i have poured it down the sink and he has had a big paddy, is it me or does he have his rights restricted ??!!

OP posts:
maggie61 · 24/04/2008 20:22

forgot to say it was a black dye his natural colour is light brown

OP posts:
sarah293 · 24/04/2008 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LadyOfWaffle · 24/04/2008 20:23

TBH i'd let him experiment. I think he is old enough to be allowed to try out things like that, aslong as it is ok with his ear surgery.

muppetgirl · 24/04/2008 20:25

I wanted to dye my hair aged 14. My parents had split up and my dad had to make the decision. He siad 'go for your life, if it goes wrong, you'll have to live with the consequences...'

That made me think. He was my dad, he was supposed to say no and we were supposed to have a row about it

My riend did it some years later but only put it on the top and didn't rub it all over. I had a handprint on my head for ages.

Dad was right, it did look stupid.

Psychomum5 · 24/04/2008 20:26

oh let him dye his hair....if he hates it he will have learnt an important lesson.

I wanted to dye my hair black when I was 15.....cue much argueing and door slamming at home when my aunt refused!!!

I then went out and got my hair shaved instead.....

aunty said on seeing me "should have gone the dying route"...!

I won, but hated my hair being shaved

ranting · 24/04/2008 20:27

My ds had dyed his hair black (14) tbh, I didn't think it was a huge problem and the school had no objections (it rather suits him). But you must do as you see fit, he's your teen, you need to make a decision either way and stick to it.

maggie61 · 24/04/2008 20:27

Thanks for prompt replies , now i feel mean ,its so hard when you really feel you know best , but they think otherwise.
i know i havent handled this well, feel a big creepy session coming on.

OP posts:
PosieParker · 24/04/2008 20:27

I think he's a little young and school is not the place to take your experimental hair!!

ranting · 24/04/2008 20:27

Has, not had

GrapefruitMoon · 24/04/2008 20:27

Doesn't his school have a policy on this??

Lauriefairycake · 24/04/2008 20:28

I don't think you should have poured it away because it's an inconsistent message.

I think in general you should let him and try and negotiate for after the surgery. Maybe there's a hair dye for dry scalps too?

oregonianabroad · 24/04/2008 20:31

Check with school policy.

If it's OK, let him do it he won't be able to when he's tied to a job (most likely) better let him ge this out of his system now, imo.

But make him think you've compromised so he thinks you're being reasonable, rather than caved in and a pushover.

shoshe · 24/04/2008 20:40

Oh God I rememeber dying mine blonde at that age, and then decideing I didnt like it and putting a light brown on it

It went green.

Mom laughed at me and said bet you wont do that again

Unfortunately I did, many times, including when it was a a bright purple mohican.

Ahh the follies of youth.

(looks in the mirror at her muticoloured barnet)

maggie61 · 24/04/2008 20:53

Hey its her son Just wanted to say tht i really want it black and i know im going to have my op soon but it would be a real confidence boost atm

write back

OP posts:
maryz · 24/04/2008 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oregonianabroad · 25/04/2008 10:27

i think you can do a skin test to check for allergies.

if it makes him happy, where's the harm? OK, he might get a few funny looks, but that's his lesson to learn.

Beelliesebub · 25/04/2008 11:14

I think they all go through it TBH. I remember when ds2 was about 15 he wanted his hair blue
He's 19 now and I still give him stick for it, he looked like a Yu-Gi-Oh card.... but nevertheless I was still unprepared when ds4 decided last week that he wanted a blond stripe across his head!
I've found if you let them get on with it, they realise the upkeep that's involved and they don't keep it for long.... Just make sure it's at a time when they haven't got to go anywhere with you!

madmuggle · 25/04/2008 11:22

Son of Maggie:

Random facts for you to help you make a decision:

Skin test is vital. Follow the destructions on the packet and follow them to the letter. If you get irritated it's not a good sign for the rest of your scalp.

You also need to do a strand test. Get a wee plastic pot, make up a small amount of the dye up and snip a few strands of hair off and dye them following the instructions. This will let you see what your hair will look like dyed.

What sort of hair do you have? Is it course, fine? Long/short? Would it look okay black? If you have very fine hair it might not look as good as if you have thicker hair.

Finally. Remember that short of bleaching and naturalising in a hairdressers, there's no coming back from black. Unless you get a shaved head. I've tootled around all the various blacks you can get, and although I like t, I hate having to do my roots on a regular basis. To be honest, you'd be better off looking at the 'LIVE' stuff, they have a belting good burgundy chocolate colour that is nicer than black and stays brighter longer.

Hope some of this rambling has been useful. Just remember to make an educated decision, and don't break any school rules

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