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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

How to save money

68 replies

pumpkinpam · 25/10/2024 08:02

I'm currently spending more than I earn per month. I work part time. Dh works full time. But we have a massive mortgage and bills (dh covers most of this).

I pay for childcare which is roughly £350 a month and all food/household costs/things the kids need etc.

I had a little buffer from an inheritance but that is dwindling down now because I'm spending more than I earn and I really need to cut back. I can't work more at the moment as we have no help with the kids and I'm already spending more than I'd like on childcare.

I've recognised a few things I can do - don't buy lunch everyday, meal prep etc but other than that I can't see where I can make savings. My eldest eats like a horse and I spend a fortune on food. We hardly go out but do have takeaways maybe once a week/fortnight so that's another thing that could go I suppose.

Any other tips welcomed.

OP posts:
Goldmember · 25/10/2024 11:47

Have 2 months of necessity only purchases. Food and toiletries for that week only. Total ban on everything else but make shopping lists for other non necessary things you need and purchase those on the 3rd month. Continue this throughout the year and you should get some savings.

Toomanyemails · 25/10/2024 11:47

pumpkinpam · 25/10/2024 08:24

This is really good advice. At the moment I'm embarrassed to say I don't budget for anything. I have a rough idea of what's going out for bills and childcare but after that it's just spend spend (not on extravagant things I have to add...but I don't have a budget as such for food etc, I just buy what we want).

I need to become much more aware of what I'm actually spending per month. I will definitely sit and work everything out, I used to do this when I was younger and much more strapped for cash but I got lazy and when I had the inheritance I thought I was 'ok' so just stopped thinking about it.

You should do your budgets jointly. You're married and share a child - that's a big joint financial and emotional commitment and you're past the point of being able to divvy up spending nearly and fairly, you're a team. Even if the actual accounts stay separate you both need to know what you have coming in as a team and where it's going - even if DH also has nothing left, it may be that there are more obvious savings he can make, or when you look at it together it might be more obvious that your overall spending on one specific category is too much.

Overthebow · 25/10/2024 11:54

Your childcare costs are pretty cheap and your mortgage isn’t huge (I’m going by what I’m used to in south east for this). What are your incomes and other outgoings? I would think that if you’re spending more than you earn you need a proper overhaul of your incomes and where it is all going.

user47 · 25/10/2024 11:59

When I started working when I was 13 I put £2 a week (20%) in my savings and spent the rest. I've always done it immediately and call it "paying myself first". The savings are used for large purchases when needed so not stockpiled but there to ensure I have money to cover car/fridge whatever when needed. I now do 10% to pension and 10% to savings. The trick imo is never to put it in your current account.

Blondeshavemorefun · 25/10/2024 12:00

Write down everything you spend

From Costa coffee to chewing gum to a tv mag or coke from garage

Ans maybe think about an evening job 2/3 nights once dh is home to earn more money but. I childcare costs

Magnastorm · 25/10/2024 12:02

As others have said, you need to sit down with at least 3 month's worth of bank statements and itemise every single penny that goes out.

Work out what is mandatory spending on bills, and then work out how much you have left over. Look at where you can make savings -e.g. when was the last time you checked your insurance prices, your phone costs etc?

And then you will have your answer.

Mairzydotes · 25/10/2024 12:06

Write down every single thing you spend. Both you and dh. Perhaps he has nothing left because he isn't being as frugal as you .

Some payments are family payments and are a shared responsibility.

Don't keep nice , snack food in the house. The dc likely eat so much ( in terms of variety) because it is there.

Have meals earlier. A bowl of cereal or bread can be given if they are hungry again later.

Consider the possibility your part time wage isn't enough for your family.

taxguru · 25/10/2024 12:10

If you havn't already done so, analyse your bank statements so you know EXACTLY where every penny is being spent, for both yourself and your partner. Go back at least three months, preferably six months.

Until you have a clear view, you'll struggle to make changes.

It's often lots of relatively small/regular things that really add up, such as morning coffees, lunchtime meal deals, etc that simply don't register with you. I'd also wager that your partner is spendthrift with "daytime" spending, such as meal deals (not using a clubcard for discounts or choosing from the meal deal options), or buying pies/bacon buns every morning, a drink at the pub on the way home, etc. - All "invisibles" unless you see their bank statements too!

Then look at other "essentials" like car leases, mobile phone contracts, gym memberships, Spotify/Netflix, Sky/Vrigin TV, home broadband, home electric and gas, magazine subscriptions, etc etc. It's easy just to let the standing orders and direct debits continue when you don't use them anymore, easy to keep a "top" Sky/Virgin TV subscription when you could do with a more basic subscription (or none at all). Always shop around for insurance every year.

Sell anything around the house you don't need/use anymore - kids' toys, kid's clothes, books, CDs and DVDs, sell old furniture and white goods you don't need anymore rather than scrapping them. We keep selling "bundles" of things like books, CDs and DVDs on Ebay - can usually clear £5/£10 after postage for small bundles of several items. We also sell any of our own clothes that are still in top condition but that we've grown out of, i.e. OH lost a few stone in weight, and we sold all his old suits, work shirts, works trousers, etc, casual pants/shorts, etc - bigger sizes are in high demand apparently, even for used stuff - must have cleared a few hundred pounds by selling it all on Ebay that would have otherwise just gone to the charity shop!

PucaBandearg · 25/10/2024 12:26

My first thought is you need to pool all household income and expenditure, but I see you don't budget So that's your biggest problem.

Loonaandalf · 25/10/2024 12:42

Following but I already think I can’t scrimp anymore myself.

No takeaway coffees, bring your own cup and make at home or in office.

No buying lunch at work

Cut back on takeaways or only get them when there’s a special offer

Meal plan, it’s really saved us so much money. Try only meal plan for days you’re actually home, choose things you actually have time to cook. So if you know you’re not home until 7 one evening, don’t plan to cook a laborious recipe, quick pasta or something instead. Try some meat free meals, don’t rely on meat replacements, beans/ lentils are cheaper and healthier.

Buy second hand, Vinted is amazing for clothes and kids stuff in general.

Other things I’ve tried but not sure they will apply to you. Cancelled pet insurance, got cheaper dog food, stopped getting dog walkers and just did early walk before work myself.

Cycling, I personally couldn’t get on with it but you might.

cancel gym and go jogging instead or exercise at home from videos on YouTube. Personally I prefer to pay for classes as it motivates me more.

Loonaandalf · 25/10/2024 12:53

why can’t you work full time? Could you use a childminder instead of nursery if not doing so already?

check and see if electricity can be switched to something cheaper, sane with sky, phone bold ect.

Definitely make a budget on an excel sheet or Google drive together and see if there’s anything you can cut, we got rid of tv subscriptions for example. You can both access Google drive, click auto save when either of you make changes. Save app to phone also

if on Instagram check out budget mum official and budget mum soph, they have tips on making a simple budget.

Check out Martin Lewis on how to make a budget.

SmithfamilyRobinson · 25/10/2024 13:44

I suspect the inheritance led to a slight loosening of the purse strings, easily done.

What helped me is the annual spreadsheet of financial ins and outs on the Martin Lewis site. This gave me a better sense of where we were fiscally - the whole shebang, holidays, presents, Christmas etc. I discovered I was very positivist - jam today -as there was always better times ahead (bonuses, pat rises etc). Obviously finding out that thar there are limitations was a salutory tale. What helped was both working full-time. And yes I was the higher earner and I always worked full-time AND paid for childcare & holiday clubs.

JenniferTaylorClark · 25/10/2024 14:08

Have you checked any subscriptions that could go? They add up a lot without you realising e.g. Netflix, Disney +, apps that you don't really use, national trust, gym etc. Could you get a cheaper phone deal?

I put all the money I can spend each month in a separate account (Monzo) and keep a track of it on the app so it's much easier to know exactly where you are. Then all direct debits come out of the main bank account.

It's hard :( Good luck

midgetastic · 25/10/2024 14:13

You don't have to pool your money but you do need a joint budget analysis

Seashellssanctuary · 25/10/2024 14:16

iamtheblcksheep · 25/10/2024 08:18

I say this time and time again. The only way to get yourself out of debt is to work more hours. An evening job working behind a bar, care work, cleaning.

when we were young and struggling, DH came home and I went to work full time on top of my part time day hours. If your children are little they won’t remember you not being there after bed.

You can keep saying it but it's rarely true and certainly not in this case

If you are in a position where you cannot cover esseentials then extra work is the way to go

However er if you have two people buying lunch every day and having regular takeaways then you can be looking at several hundred pounds on unnecessary spending for starters

pumpkinpam · 25/10/2024 14:56

SmithfamilyRobinson · 25/10/2024 13:44

I suspect the inheritance led to a slight loosening of the purse strings, easily done.

What helped me is the annual spreadsheet of financial ins and outs on the Martin Lewis site. This gave me a better sense of where we were fiscally - the whole shebang, holidays, presents, Christmas etc. I discovered I was very positivist - jam today -as there was always better times ahead (bonuses, pat rises etc). Obviously finding out that thar there are limitations was a salutory tale. What helped was both working full-time. And yes I was the higher earner and I always worked full-time AND paid for childcare & holiday clubs.

This is exactly it. All my life I've budgeted really well. I used to know where every penny was going then I got this inheritance and suddenly felt a bit more free. I've never been silly with it but I stopped budgeting for things like shopping, I just got what we wanted. I have an 11 year old and a toddler. Both are expensive!

If I worked full time any additional income would go right back into nursery fees and I'd never see my youngest. We don't have any help and I do enjoy my time with my toddler.

Subscription wise we only have Netflix and we do use that at a lot. For me I think it's definitely planning meals and snacks more frugally and cutting out midday trips to the supermarket/costa for lunch.

OP posts:
PayYourselfFirst · 25/10/2024 17:28

user47 · 25/10/2024 11:59

When I started working when I was 13 I put £2 a week (20%) in my savings and spent the rest. I've always done it immediately and call it "paying myself first". The savings are used for large purchases when needed so not stockpiled but there to ensure I have money to cover car/fridge whatever when needed. I now do 10% to pension and 10% to savings. The trick imo is never to put it in your current account.

Excellent advice and that's how I got my username Grin

PayYourselfFirst · 25/10/2024 17:37

Don't get into debt over a meal deal every day and a takeaway once a week

Also sound advice and it really IS that easy to get into debt or burn through an inheritance.

Spending £10 a day on lunch food and coffees ,you dont have ,you can clock up £310 a month
X 12 = £3720
Over 3 years that's £11,360 BUT the additional kicker is compound interest if you put it on a CC .
You then start paying interest on the interest
Before you know it you are 30K in debt.
It is that easy.

Op is spending money she does have
Budget and meal plan all the way.

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