SEN child being offered an in school job

[StressedMumma89]

My DS has complex SEN. He’s at a
mainstream school that have very limited understanding of him as person or his needs. (I’m desperate to move him, but didn’t realise that having an EHCP means you’re trapped, but that could have a thread of its own).

At the start of term he came home and happily told me he was being given a job as an IT helper. He loves IT and it’s something he’s actually good at, so he was very excited, which was really nice to see. As the weeks of the half term have rolled on by I’ve been asking him if he’s started his job yet, he told me no not yet, then it’s became, no they’ve said I have to behave for a whole week. Tonight he actually said “I’ll never be good enough to get it”. It’s become demoralising.

As his parent I’ve not been told about any bad behaviour. He’s got autism/ AHDH/ learning disability. He behaves well for a child with all these issues I would say. AIBU or should they just give him the job they’ve been dangling like a carrot on a stick in front of him for the entire half term? and should I say something to the school? I mean their understanding of SEN is non existent, they called me after his first fencing lesson and said his behaviour was too challenging for the instructor, could I ask him to behave? I had to point out that his behaviour isn’t in his control and didn’t send him back; but I suspect their not going to understand the issue with this reward that’s unobtainable either.

Well it'd make a lot of sense to talk to the school and ask them about this job and what their plan is etc. How can you help if you don't know what's going on?

If the school isn't meeting his needs then you can call an early/emergency review of his EHCP and request a change of placement. An EHCP shouldn't mean you are trapped.

In what way do you believe that having an EHCP means that your son is 'trapped'?

Are they paying him?

Yes screw them man. Go in a pull them up and say they’re demoralising the kid who then gave him something special which was important to him. SUCKS when teachers do this shit.

I referred to him as being trapped because I asked for an emergency review in December 2023 after an incident, in which I felt he was poorly supervised. Since then I’ve consulted almost every school within a commutable distance and I’ve been unable to get him a place anywhere. They’re all full, or have said they can’t meet need; all ASD bases are full in the borough, some mainstream schools simply don’t want to take on a child with an EHCP - and are vocal about this when you approach them. I wish I had moved him before getting the EHCP, but hindsight is a wonderful thing.

If only…

Did you appeal?

Unless the school is wholly independent, there are limited reasons the LA can refuse to name your preference, you don’t need an offer of a place and being ‘full’ is not enough of a reason on its own to refuse to name your preference.

It is worth reading IPSEA and SOSSEN’s websites to understand SEN law more.

How old?

I don’t have the right to appeal yet as the review hasn’t officially been closed… I just ask them to consult another and another… though I think as it’s been open for almost the entire year, I should probably revert to your strategy at this point.

Thank you for the advice, I will have a look at those websites for next steps :)

9

When was the last review meeting? I suspect the LA is in breach of the statutory timescales.

Is he in a private school?

December 2023 - since then it’s just been me naming every school within an hours commute

No state mainstream

If the last review meeting was in December 23, the LA is in breach of the timescales. IPSEA has a model letter you can use. If that doesn’t work, you need a pre-action letter. SOSSEN can help with that FOC or you can look elsewhere.

They don't have a good understanding of ADHD if they're dangling a reward like that. It won't work well. They'd be better letting him do the job and boosting his self esteem. So yes, I'd have a conversation with them about that.

However, on this point...

I had to point out that his behaviour isn’t in his control

I'm saying this both as a parent of children with ASD and ADHD and as someone who supports ND children in school... please do talk to him about his behaviour. It is absolutely not a given that ND children are badly behaved. They may need more support with their behaviour but most of the children I work with do behave well most of the time. Parents who support that and reinforce good behaviour, make a massive difference.

Also, you need to be thinking now about where he will go to secondary school. If he's struggling in mainstream at primary school, then secondary will be very challenging for him.

Thanks for your reply.

I do speak to him about his behaviour, I realise now that my comment may have read as if I don’t. I am generally supportive of discipline, all I ask is that they explain it to him so he understands why and can potentially learn from it, which doesn’t happen sadly. I know myself that I have to support him with his behaviour, but on this occasion I felt me telling him to behave in the morning for a club at 3:15- 4:15, it would make little to no difference. He usually has a 1:1 and didn’t for this activity, so I also accept it probably wasn’t a suitable club, but he wanted to try it, I just wish they had said it’s not suitable rather than asking me to ask him to behave.

Ive recently been to a lot of open evenings and Im starting to think mainstream secondary won’t be appropriate, so thank you for this advice.

OK, yes that does make sense. If he needs 121 in primary school then I'd say almost certainly mainstream secondary won't do him any favours. The problem is that special school places are in very short supply so a lot of children like him do end up in mainstream. So I'd be working now and finding him a place. A lot of special schools go through primary and secondary age so you might even find somewhere that could take him sooner, then you can beat the rush for secondary places.

Best of luck. It can be a constant battle to get the right provision and it really shouldn't be so hard.

Honestly schools can be super hard work my daughter physically can not use her right arm / hand or fingers well ( cerebral palsy ) so she uses a laptop for most of her work however she does write a few works with her right hand but she will never be able to complete her work by hand. Her hand writing when she managed to write some is messy in pencil and pen but better in pen.
anyway last year she watched everyone get a pen license, and she was desperate to get hers to the point she pushed her self further than she should have. She was told everyone would get one by Xmas and she never ever did. I kept raising it and now she’s in her last year and she still hasn’t got one 🙈