Anxiety over being far away from my son

[Joni13]

Hi,

My son (3.5) has allergies, one of which is a recently discovered peanut allergy, which he had an anaphylactic reaction to recquiring an epipen and hospital visit. A week after that he got croup and woke up really struggling to breathe - it was awful and terrifying and we had to call an ambulance and he was given steroids. All this to say, I've developed real anxiety over his allergies/health in general... I am aware that it's overblown and I'm trying to get help to manage it.

Cut to now, and I'm supposed to be going away on a girls weekend tomorrow, and I will be 5+ hours away by train. I've been worrying about it throughout the week, and I'm at the point where I don't think I can go. I can't stop thinking about something happening to him, and the fact that I won't be able to get to him quickly.

I know(?) this is not a completely rational thing, but currently I don't know if it's worth the anxiety I'm feeling to go.

On the one hand he'll be at home with his Dad, I would love to see my friends and I know that probably nothing will happen.... on the other hand I can't help but worry about something terrible happening and how long it would take me to get to him, and thinking that while he's young maybe there's just no need for us to be so far apart...

I'd welcome any thoughts/advice/similar experiences. Please be kind.

He'll be with his dad who knows exactly what to do should anything happen.

Just do whatever you’ll feel most comfortable with- if you’re going to spend the whole time worrying and not enjoying yourself then don’t go. Totally understandable. It’s really up to you. Don’t think there’s a right r or wrong with this!

I think many parents of young children feel like this anyway without the history of health worries. I'm sure his dad will manage well and they'll have a great time but it's also fine for you to not want to be far away.

my dd is an adult now however she had bad eczema from a few months old for many years and food allergies (milk & egg & peanuts) from a few months old. it was tough but you do get used to it. we had strict routines but got used to them ie if she went to a party she had a packed lunch/tea that i had made. school were very good about it ie had protocols. always had her epi pens when we went out, told staff in cafes. my parents used to have her stay a fair bit due to my job. they were well trained!! it will get better but i remember how hard it was at first. even now, she is away studying but i still worry as i am nolonger the one in control!! you'll both be fine, try and relax. right now it probably feels like it dictates everything but it won't always be that way

Thank you all. Ultimately I have decided not to go, as at this time it doesn’t feel like the right thing. There will be other trips, maybe when he’s a bit older… or maybe not so far away.

Thank you for the advice and understanding.

If you go it will benefit everyone, if mum is less stressed and worried. I mean, its your call to cancel, if you genuinely feel you’ll be too worried then i’d sure your friends will understand

I completely understand your anxiety as I've very much been this way myself with my children. Now, I'm okay leaving them with my husband because I know that he will be calm and very capable in any emergency and he will take the very best care of them. But I still do get anxious over their health as well. The thing for me as well is knowing that I'll be terrible company if I'm just worrying so it's better for everyone if I stay home .it will get better for you with time as he grows up.