To be annoyed at my friend for cancelling plans?

[anonymousc]

This isn't the first time she's cancelled plans, some of them for legit reasons and some of them for more like 'I'm super tired after work and want to nap instead'. Anyway, this particular time I'm quite annoyed, don't know if it's because the cancellation have accumulated or because it's a "something better came up" type thing.

I have a baby (under 1) and my best friend suggested we go to a Halloween light show type thing. It was her suggestion, not mine, and the light show is a good 40 minutes drive from my house (similar from hers, but we live about 1hr15 from each others house). I agreed and bought tickets, I wouldn't have gone without her as it's easier with our baby to go to local parks, and it's not like the baby understands Halloween anyway. This was about a month before the event. Now it's less than a week to go and she's casually called me to say she'd rather go and visit her sister at uni, because if she doesn't go now she won't be able to in the following few weekends. Wasn't particularly apologetic, just "I'm not going, hope you have fun anyway".

Is that not the most pathetic excuse?

My cousin does this. We used to meet a lot but she was always letting me down (using "I forgot" as an excuse) that I have just stopped asking her to do anything. She did ask why I never invite her round any more and I said I was fed up of being let down.
Sometimes you just have to take a step back from a friendship

Sell the tickets or give them away - I don’t think you’ll enjoy the evening if you’re feeling annoyed about it!

I wouldn’t reply any further to her. If she contacts you to do something again I would just say “No thanks. I can’t be bothered making fake plans with you that you’ll cancel last minute for a better offer. It’s a waste of my time.”

Only make plans to see her when it suits you, ie it's local to you, and/or an event you'd like to go to anyway, maybe as part of a bigger group if you have mutual friends.
If you previously had a strong friendship, ask her about it and explain the flakiness is upsetting you.

I've actually asked before and she's said she's sorry but sometimes it's hard because of her job being very full on and also she's got a weak immune system / health issues. Great excuses but... useless nevertheless.

Why can't you DH and baby go without her? 40 minutes isn't a massive distance.

I would also hate that. Don’t make plans like that with her again - lesson learned!

Have you not read any of the thread?

It’s time to focus on more local friends - plans that involve driving with babies end up feeling like hard work if you’ve had a full day / week of work or childcare. Local friends are more reliable and less likely to mess you around as you see them at nursery etc

In these sorts of cases it feels easier not to make plans which involve buying tickets in advance. I've had a friend to it to me, last minute cancelling of a £50 each event. Offering me her ticket for free which is no use as who am i going to invite with 2 hours notice.