To relocate the family back to the UK?

[PinkMerryBee]

DH and I left the UK in 2017 to Singapore. We moved as I found a good role and hoped the low tax environment would help us save. We both work.

It's been 7+ years living abroad and we now have a DD who was born in Singapore. We go back to England 1-2 times a year to visit family in the North West. On our recent visits, ive felt so drawn to moving back permanently. I miss the more reasonable pace of life, gorgeous countryside, (comparatively!) affordable housing, simple things like British produce and having four seasons. When I bring this up with friends from back home, the overwhelming response is "don't do it", "it's so sh1t", "the uk is not the same as when you left" etc etc.

Every country has its problems. Have things really deteriorated that much for the average family?

Is there any way you could visit for a bit longer? I personally think things have deteriorated since you left, but you may experience it differently. I think the best thing to do is seeing if you could do an extended visit and pretend-live here for a month or so. Not just the 'highs' of family visits at nice times of the year, etc.

OP, I find a lot of British people complain massively about life here, but as a migrant who has lived on 4 continents, I think it has many good points and overall is a great place to live if you have a good income. Yes the weather can be wet and grey, but it is mostly mild and not extreme. The NHS has real problems but if you have a good income are in good health then you should be able to afford private cover (my employer provides it and many do- yes it is a huge privilege). Otherwise the people was wonderful and kind, it is generally safe, the culture and hospitality are amazing, quality and variety of food are fantastic and career opportunities are available.

When I moved to the UK almost 20 years ago British people would regularly tell me I was crazy, most people want to leave, and the country has gone to the dogs. It’s a really weird mindset but the recent comments about the state of the country aren’t new.

The Aussies call the British ‘whingeing poms’ for a reason!

I’m in the same boat as you. I left three years ago and really want to move back. I can’t tell you if the UK has deteriorated in the last few years but I do know it is my ‘home’ and there is much to love about it - tolerance, the sense of humour, great TV, beautiful countryside, etc.

In comparison to Singapore, yes I think the UK is a better place to raise a family. Especially if you’re well off.

If you have money and can live in a nice area, you’ll be fine.

Excellent post @DiamondGoldandSilver

Most people I know are perfectly content living in the UK. MN brings out the moaners.

We need to reform the NHS though rather than rely in private medical insurance.

I spent a few years abroad and had a great quality of life but am much happier back in the UK even though I feel broke! I love this country.
Too many unknowns in your situation though. If money is the same then definitely the UK for me.

But by God the Aussies are the biggest moaners of all. They never stop

How old is your DD?
What is the education system like in Singapore?

Personally, since having children, I've felt very strongly that I want to stay in England (my home country). The main reason is proximity to family, I want my kids to be able to see their extended family regularly as they grow up. Another reason is their education, the English system isn't perfect but I want them to go to school here. It's a culture thing too, I think there are a lot of good things about British culture. I don't think you can underestimate the importance of being in your home country. People who have never lived abroad won't get it - they will moan about their country without appreciating that feeling you get when living abroad of never really being "home".

Does the UK have problems? Of course.

Do I still love living in the UK with my wider family? Yep. Would never move away from my family, to me, that's everything.

I came back in 2019 after 16 years abroad - my kids all grown up but still wanted to be near them.
I have no regrets - every country had its problems but it is so comforting to be "home"
And there is nothing quite like a decent Sunday roast in a country pub on a Sunday Lunchtime...

Every country has its problems. Have things really deteriorated that much for the average family?

No, they haven't OP, particularly if, as a PP says, you and your family will have a decent salary and will therefore enjoy a good standard of living. Yes, some things are definitely more expensive than they were in 2017 - electricity/gas bills, groceries - but things haven't changed that drastically in the past 7 years. I think we're all feeling a bit bruised still from Brexit and the pandemic, and we're living in uncertain times for many reasons, but none of those affect your personal, family decision on whether to live in Singapore or the UK.

We moved back quite a few years ago now and I've never regretted it. All the things you mention in your OP are good reasons to come home. It's fun to do a stint abroad, but the lure of home is strong, particularly when you have a DC. I missed so much about the UK when we lived OS and while it's not perfect, far from it, nowhere is, is it? So, come home if you feel ready. It's not exactly the same as when you left, but it's pretty close.

Affordable housing..? Lol

Do you have an expat package or do you have to pay for schooling in Spore? The sheer expense of Spore has driven away many people I know.

I recommend visiting at less "nice" times of year and seeing how you feel. Being in the UK in August on what is basically a holiday is not the same as doing the weekly slog in February.

Have you checked out the price of housing in areas you are thinking of?

I'm in the NE OP. Also lived abroad for a while. Once I had DC I wanted to be near family and although I dreaded the weather, it's not the be all and end all of life.
I absolutely love the countryside and old architecture of the UK. 99% of people I encounter are friendly. I love being able to converse in my own language and accent. I value these things more than ever now.
By some metrics, some things have deteriorated in the last 20 years, but if you have a decent income, live in a nice (not overpopulated) area, you can still have a great quality of life here.
Also, IME, people love moaning- everywhere!

@PinkMerryBee we lived overseas, only for three years, and bad the option to extend, but the draw for me to come home was so strong, we returned and haven't regretted it.
Yes, the UK has its issues but the same issues impact the world wherever you are (weather/cost of living/political instability) and overall, it's a fantastic place to live.
We were in a southern US state, and I'll never regret leaving a place where gun ownership was standard and women's rights eroded. It's all relative, isn't it?

That’s a baseless nasty shot .

I have worked alongside colleagues from multiple countries for 20 years. I’m always intrigued on their reasons for coming to the Uk, mostly because I can never understand why they would want to live in such a rainy country! I have learnt that most countries have similar problems to the UK, majority much worse.

Living in the north west, housing is very affordable. We have multiple decent schools in our area to choose from. Crime rates are reasonably low. Easy access to cities such as Manchester and Liverpool bursting with culture and (free!) activities for the kids. We have beautiful countryside less than 15 minutes drive away. We both have jobs we enjoy that pay a reasonable salary. We are far from ‘well off’ and have felt the pinch certainly from the cost of living. However, I would not leave my family and disagree that ‘the country has gone to the dogs’! The NHS needs some work but is still functioning.

I think people are just in the habit of saying it.

I dont get all this "ah, its shit" nonsense. It reminds me of someone who is successful, lives a comfortable life but always complains just in case - I think in the UK its a national sport, like talking about the weather and slagging Labour.

I have moved from my home country almost 30 years ago and stayed because I love it, I would not want to live anywhere else (well, maybe except Italy if I was loaded and did not have to work).

In the end of the day, its your home. Countryside is beautiful, and despite what everyone says, the culture, the history, the food is all still here. People are still nice, on the whole. If you can afford a house in a good area, near good school and will have a good job - its a lovely place to live. Living forever as an expat is not for everyone, you will have to settle somewhere eventually.

I also live abroad. I think when you visit you are feeling nostalgia rather than living in the reality.

I know there is a new government now and things are slightly more hopeful but the state of public services, schools, nhs, ambulances, policing etc is on its knees and the deterioration in roads, lack of investment is startling when you really look.

Yes the british countryside is definitely unbeatable but the days where its dry and sunny enough to enjoy fully are few and far between
I wouldnt be uprouting my children when you can enjoy Britain on your holidays and enjoy the good bits without living in the rest

We moved back to UK from Singapore 3 years ago. My DC were born there and it was a hard move but I'm glad we're back now. There are pros and cons of course but overall we loved our time in SG but prefer to be settled here.

I think it's fair to say that the world has changed over the last few years impacting the UK.

Its too simplistIc to say that the UK has deteriorated. Has it suffered more relative to other countries I doubt it overall

We have a 14yr old doing well in state school education, and while ww are being affected by the cost of living have adjusted reasonably well.

Of course everybody would like a better quality of life but I still believe that there are far worse places to live and even those places that appear to have greener grass have their fair share of living problems

I’m in the NW and have expat friends in Singapore who I have visited

I think Singapore gives an amazing lifestyle!
Personally I couldn’t live there long term

the UK has definitely gone downhill yes but if you earn good money and can afford a nice house in a nice area (and health insurance) then it still has a lot to recommend IMO. I think it’s the cooler weather and great outdoors which would swing me.
Like yesterday I went running in lovely cool conditions though a forest and last weekend we hiked up a moderate hill and got amazing views.

you can’t quite compare to Singapore but Manchester is a great diverse city with loads going on.

I don’t think you’d regret coming back

Brexit has been very damaging to the UK unfortunately. I’m concerned it’s on a downhill spiral.

Well we have moved all our industry to the east or similar because we want to buy cheap products, but that applies to many western countries. So we are poorer than we were.

We don’t have oil or Silicon Valley like the US, or coal and iron ore to sell to China like Australia does -all pouring lots of tax into their economies. So we are struggling.

But we have few guns, beautiful countryside, public transport (variable but last time I was in the US and Australia it was drive EVERYwhere).
TV is good, radio is good, decent culture and art. Small enough you can go end to end in a day (just). Education ok if you live in a good area.

Weare adjusting to being a poorer country but otherwise have a lot going for us.