WIBU to ask for a different prize?

[Allelbowsandtoes]

Hi
Just asking so I don't make a massive faux pas, basically 😬
An acquaintance of mine (known him for years, lovely bloke) is a silversmith, he did a prize giveaway on his social media and I won first prize. The necklace I won is the most expensive one out of all of the ones in the prize draw, one of his new designs.
It's a stunning piece of jewellery but really not my style and I can't see myself wearing it.
I'd really love to swap it for a different necklace he makes which he sells on his website so I happen to know it sells for half the price of the one I won. The one I like is smaller, less intricate design.
Is that really rude? I'd hate to offended him because he's an incredibly talented artist and the piece I won clearly took a lot of skil to make, but it's not quite me.

He clearly picked that one to showcase his new design.

Why don’t you support his business and buy the one you want?

I don’t think he will mind. He has had the promo from the prize draw and will still have the more intricate piece to sell.

I don’t think it’s rude to ask in the circs.

Is second prize more appealing ? I’d ask if he could make second prize winner first prize and you first prize. As he’s a small business, he may prefer to supply 2x second prizes.

Third prize was one of the necklaces I liked, so that wasn't the only prize iyswim!
Totally take that on board though, sadly I can't afford to buy new jewellery right now hence my asking.
I have bought some lovely stuff from him in the past when I had a bit more disposable income

I agree that you should keep this necklace and buy the one you really like.

Thanks, yeah when I realised the one I like is half the price of the one I won, it felt like it would save him money too!

Perhaps I'll sell the one I got subtly and then buy two things from him 🤣

if you’re not going to actually wear it, it’s not going to be the advertisement that he needs when people see you wearing it and ask where you got it. Therefore, I think it would be fine to ask if it was possible to swap for the cheaper item that you would wear.

I think it's fine.He gets to give away a cheaper necklace and still sell the more expensive one you give back.Its not rude as you clearly love the other design.

I also agree it’s fine, especially with a friend you know well, but you know his personality more than us. Essentially you are swapping something you really like for something you absolutely love. It would be odd to be offended by that.

Thanks, yes he is pretty easy going so I'd be surprised if he was offended but I didn't know if I would be unwittingly breaking an unspoken rule.....

I have bought jewellery off him years ago that I still wear so he knows I like his work

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with telling him you were actually hoping to win third prize and is there any chance you can swap it.

He didn't pick the prize necklace as a personal gift for you so hopefully he won't be upset to get his expensive item back.

Perhaps you could offer to model the prize you won to help publicise his business, then swap it for the other item.

I’d make up some sentimental reason why you like the other necklace better, rather than just preference. Say it reminds you of your gran or something.

It is a complete win-win for you to end with the necklace you like and for him to give away a necklace of lesser financial value.

Of course it is reasonable to ask for the cheaper necklace.

Why?

I would absolutely ask.

I would say something like 'Thanks so much, I can't believe I won! I know this might sound cheeky, but I've actually had my eye on 'cheaper necklace' for a while. I was wondering how you would feel about swapping out the prize for that one? I don't want to sound ungrateful (I'm really not!) but I would wear that one so much more and, as it costs less, I'm hoping this could be a good option for both of us.'

Anyone creative knows taste is personal. I don’t think there is anything wrong with saying you prefer more delicate/statement/simple/intricate designs and would he mind if you had a version of the third prize piece as that’s what you entered hoping to win. Worst case, he says no, but I doubt you’d offend him either way. If I were him, I’d rather someone wore pieces of my jewellery and loved it as opposed to having something I loved stuffed in a box somewhere.

Softens the blow in case he is disappointed or offended that she doesn’t like it.

She doesn't have to say she doesn't like it*. She just has to say she prefers the cheaper one. Why lie?

(*She hasn't said she doesn't like it. She says it's not her style.)

Why don't you ask him if it's OK if you auction the necklace off to raise money for charity that is meaningful to you? (if it's an expensive one).

That way you'll raise some money for charity, he gets more publicity, and no risk of causing offence.

Personally I'd feel a bit weird about asking to swap, but that's just me.

Yup!

You've already asked why, and I have told you. Because when you don't know someone well, you can never be sure of their reaction. OP is free to agree or disagree with me as she pleases.

Chill out, it's not a moral thought experiment, it's a necklace giveaway.

I do agree with this also. Though it's a shame for the other necklace to go to waste if it's just going to sit in OP's drawer and not be used. She could donate it, however.

Exactly because it's just a promotional necklace giveaway is why you don't need to casually lie.

Honestly just ask. He will likely be pleased as the one you won took longer to make, just ask if you can swap it for the other.