Husband drinking beer before counselling - AIBU

[CeciliaMars]

We've just started having counselling. One of the issues that has been raised is his dependency on alcohol. He's going to a session on his own tonight, and was drinking a beer before he went. I told him I didn't think he should and that he should have a clear head for the session. He called me controlling and went to the session in a mood. Was I being unreasonable?

I use to do this it helped me relax and open up. I'm not saying it's right but therapy is hard

he called you controlling but can’t control himself. If he has an alcohol dependency and doesn’t get help for it you should reconsider your options

If he's too drunk his therapist won't see him. They're not recommended to hold sessions with people under the influence.

The counsellor will be able to smell it on him. If they have anything about themselves, they will not proceed with the session because he is under the influence.

You cannot help an alcoholic. They destroy lives.

I’m sorry but he’s an alcoholic. The counselling is triggering all the feelings of self loathing he drinks to get away from.

Youre right that it isn’t ideal but honestly you have bigger fish to fry here. Him having a beer or not won’t make much difference.

You have a hard road ahead of you if you’re planning to stick by him. I would be out of there. Are you sure he’s worth it?

In the contract between client and therapist, there's usually mention of do not attend when under the influence of substances. He needs to be honest with his therapist.

He won't be drunk at all on one beer.

But why does he need "one beer" to go to a session.

Thank you for the replies. I know he's not drinking on one beer. But this counselling is so important to me to try to keep our marriage on track. Not to mention very expensive... I would have hoped he'd have a clear head for it to face the issues that we have...

If he's drinking a significant amount they won't do the session. They have strict rules on this. Iv been chucked out of multiple sessions due to drug/alcohol intoxication

You say the counselling is very important to you. But is it important to him? I suspect not as important as the booze, which tells you pretty much everything you need to know.

You cannot "help" him to stop drinking. He has to do that all by himself and clearly isn't there yet. He doesn't want to stop drinking.

You are on a hiding to nothing until he actually wants to stop.