Or am I being reasonable? Or just plain hormonal? Either way I'm pissed off ...

[Disenchanted]

at DH,

We have an agreement where he goes out once a week and has his mates round once a week.

Both happy with that.

However his dads sorting his house out ready for a new arrival and DH was asked to go round Monday ... he went and was there 5 hours , then FIL asked him to go back Tuesday, he did, for 5 hours.

Now FIL has just pulled up and asked him to go round and help him again, he turned to me and said 'you don't need him this afternoon'

Now what was I supposed to say to that?

So he has gone again,

He was out Saturday night then had his brother round sunday night to watch fighting, which I can't stand so I had to go to bed at 8pm!

So Sat,sun,mon,tue,thur night Ive had to do everything alone ,

Im 6 weeks pregnant we have 2 toddlers and im knackered

AIBU for wanting DH to tell FIL that he couldn't go tonight??

[Hassled]

YANBU. He needs to re-think his priorities.

[EffiePerine]

How much does your FIL need him? Is it likely to be a short term thing? If so, I'd bit the bullet THIS time, but make it clear (in a mature I-am-being-flexible way) that this means you expect him to help out more once his FIL is sorted out.

for you - not easy when you're tired.

[Disenchanted]

I actully had a bit of a hissy fit and started crying

[EffiePerine]

What did he say?

[Disenchanted]

I don't know how long for, it was supposed to just be Monday, then tuesday, but he keeps asking for another day.

[MrsMattie]

YANBU

[Disenchanted]

He just said 'we will talk when I get back.'

[EffiePerine]

I know it's difficult, but may think YOU'RE being unreasonable as he's just trying to help out - maybe try and reach a compromise? That he can should be home at least for the harest part of the evening (supper bath and bed whenever that is)?

[EffiePerine]

hardest

[Disenchanted]

Thing is everyone in his family calls on him to help out so theres always something.

He has an older brother but FIL wont ask him as hes not his son, so it all falls on DH.

His older brother doesn't help anyone so its on DHs shoulders when anyone needs anything.

[EffiePerine]

Sounds tough on both of you. I doubt he's delighted with being hauled out on an evening as well

As I said, maybe some ground rules? e.g. I'd like you to be home between 6 and 7 but you can go out later (or earlier) to help if you want...

[Disenchanted]

Yea, suppose. Doesn't help that I don't like his dad!

[Spaceman]

I have a DH like that; everyone asks him to help coz he's an electrician. He's building us an extension at the moment and we have MDF boards lying all around the house yet still people ask him to help them so he goes to neighbour's houses etc instead of working here! I'm 36 weeks pregnant and people are still asking - what cheek.

Why don't you ask FIL if he can come around to help you with something in return when things are sorted at his gaff, like in your garden or whatever.

I don't think YABU to be honest. You need help and support when you have kids to look after.

[EffiePerine]

I'm not too keen on FIL either, but luckily DH feels the same

[EffiePerine]

gettin help back a VERY good idea

[Disenchanted]

Thing is, my mum and dad have just moved house, they had alot to do but they realise that we have 2 small children and DH works fulltime so they don't ask.

If they do ask, its very occasionally and they alays help us out anyway so I don't mind,

DHs dad/ family don't!

[Disenchanted]

He promised he would be home by 7

[ImightbeLulumama]

your DH needs to be firm with FIL, and help once or twice a week. unless you are going to get lots of help in return, no good if it is a one way street.

[Disenchanted]

Hes still not back

[ImightbeLulumama]

have you called him?

don;t sit here being miserable. enjoy the silence, i presume the boys are in bed?

have a cup of tea, and a bath and enjoy the peace and quiet you won;t be having any in another 34 weeks !