Aibu to celebrate religious holidays when I don't belong to that religion

[OpenMindedMamaof2]

Name changed, and adding a bit of background so you can understand why I'm asking. I’m a female who grew up in a muslim family who were overly strict. I absolutely hated being told what to do, how to dress and not being able to talk to the opposite gender when I was younger. As I grew older I broke away from traditions and followed my own path at the expense of losing some extended members of my family. I’ve always been free spirited and lived life how I wanted to.

I wasn’t to fussed when my extended family stopped talking to me as I didn’t want to associate with people who were closed minded. My parents were generally fine as I ended up doing quite well for myself so trusted me to live my life. I met my husband who was also Muslim but from a different culture and we married and now have two children.

When I was pregnant with my first child he told me he didn’t believe in God and was atheist and held off telling me as he thought i wouldn’t marry him if I knew the truth. I didn’t really know how to react because although I do say I’m a Muslim I’m not practising, so told him as long as he was respectful of my religion I didn’t really mind what he believed.

When we had our first child he refused to do certain traditions which are required for Muslims but again I was fine as I didn’t really care either. We spoke about it and we both agreed our children would be raised to think for themselves and if they wanted to follow any religion when old enough to decide then that would be up to them and we would support them either way.

I did ask if we could still celebrate things like Eid as I enjoyed the memories from childhood which he was fine with as our families also celebrate these. We also tend to partake in other festivities like Easter/Halloween/Christmas but mainly because we have 2 very young children who see their friends celebrating and want to do the same. I don’t want my kids missing out on fun things so we do decorate for Halloween and Christmas. Put a tree up and have Xmas dinner etc.

I’ve been called all sorts by other Muslim friends who are annoyed by the path I’ve chosen for my kids as they think im a bad person for not making them follow Muslim traditions only and that they will lose their “roots”. I post a lot on social media and don’t hide the fact that I celebrate Xmas and Eid as I don’t feel like I’m doing anything wrong.

I just wandered in general, for those who do celebrate, do you celebrate Xmas and Easter because you’re religious or because it’s just normal in this country. I mainly celebrate because I feel like it brings the family together, gives us a chance to do activities and days out together, play silly games and generally bond.

I like wearing matching pj sets and opening presents. I like putting the kids in costumes and going trick or treating with them. They enjoy it to and for me we’re just enjoying quality time together so hopefully one day when they’re older they will have happy childhood memories.

I suppose my AIBU is do you think I shouldn’t celebrate these things because it’s not my religion or is it ok because we’re a part of the community and live in a country that does.

YANBU at all, sounds like a lovely approach.

I was raised loosely Catholic but am atheist now married to an atheist raising atheist children, but we still celebrate Christmas for the reasons you've mentioned. It's a lovely secular holiday as well as a religious one. Makes perfect sense to me that you feel the same about Eid.

Ignore the naysayers, you're not doing anything disrespectful and you're having lovely family celebrations, what's not to love.

Of course it's fine! And what religion celebrates Halloween anyway? 😁

I think what you’re doing is absolutely fine. You are culturally Muslim and celebrating Muslim festivals. You (presumably) live in the UK and are celebrating the big deal festivals there. I’ve lived in other countries and joined in whatever celebrations were going on in a more the merrier way.
I’m not religious at all and celebrate Christmas for the fun (as do a lot of people).
I admire you for choosing your own path, you sound like a very rounded family. Happy Halloween!

I think it is fine to celebrate. I'm Catholic so I celebrate Christmas and Easter primarily because of that but too be honest I would probably still celebrate without the religious aspect because it is fun for children and adults and you can't really escape it in the UK. For other religious, I might not celebrate in the same way as someone from that religion but I think in a multicultural environment it is good to learn and engage with such events.

We are all atheist and love Christmas and Easter. It's a British cultural holiday regardless of the religious origins.

Most people are not celebrating these holidays for religious reasons, they’re doing it for all of the reasons you listed. I think what you’re doing is wonderful and you should be proud of yourself for being true to yourself.

A lot of my Muslim friends celebrate Christmas, to varying degrees. They send cards, exchange presents, have Christmas trees, although I’ve yet to hear one of my friends say they had Turkey. A large quantity of people in England celebrate Christmas in a non-religious way, even if they are Christian.

I am an atheist and I go along with the culterally expected parts of Christian festivals (and, those rooted on Paganism) because they are are fun and I enjoy taking part. My family is agnostic/questioning but there's still presents at Christmas, and a big dinner on Christmas day, and give chocolate eggs to the children at Easter (Eostre was the Pagan goddess of Spring and Renewal)

At the moment my front room is decorated in Halloween stuff because it's our favourite festival, which is rooted in both Christianity and paganism.

At work I have a diverse bunch of colleagues of many religions & cultures. They bring in their food, or their music (or both) or I notice them by their absence because they've taken time off to celebrate their festivities with family.

It's all absolutely fine, in my book.

Most celebratory aspects of Xmas and Easter (aka the fun stuff) is nothing to do with religion and is everything to do with pagan/cultural elements.

Xmas trees, feasting, lights, presents, Santa, Easter eggs, bunnies are nothing to do with religion and everything to do with centuries old Norse midwinter and spring festivals so you can celebrate away.

The only way you would make Xmas or Easter religious is by going to church or going carol singing.

Christ was an Islamic prophet so many muslims celebrate Christmas. If your friends who are telling you it’s an issue sound like the abnormal ones.

I'm not religious, but I think having regular festivals and celebrations around the year is a good idea. There's no particular reason to stick to one religion when doing so.

I've recently been getting interested in the Celtic calendar and trying to think of ways to celebrate the cross-quarter days, though it turns out that these are often close to other festivals anyway.

I surprised my mother by making a reference to Martinmas recently - the traditional start of winter on November 11th. Seems like it's traditional to have a feast - I'm in!

I've lived in an area massively populated by Muslims, Hindus and Sikhs for around 30 years and the vast majority celebrate Christmas and Easter in some way, due to the fact most of them were born and raised in the UK and so are their children.

Surely you don't think it's too unusual? 🤷‍♂️

Why not - it's all an excuse to celebrate. I'd be well up for adopting a few extra festivals. Lots of Muslims I know celebrate Christmas.
Halloween as celebrated these days is disapproved of by most Christians due to the occult connection. Although it originally came from a religious source
Christmas and Easter are more cultural than religious anyway

Thank you so much guys, I feel so much better reading these replies. I'm sorry I don't know how to reply to each of you individually as I'm on the app but it's reassuring to read the reasons why you celebrate. In regards to the turkey comment, I have had a quiet chuckle as I will say I don't really like turkey but hubby does and I do cook an extra large chicken and have that instead.

I want my children to be proud of who they are and want to raise them with open minds, and as long as they're respectful of others belief's I really do believe it will open up so many doors for them.

I think part of me does feel guilty sometimes but as I'm getting older the less I care about negative opinions. I know Halloween isn't a religious festival but I've just recently put the decorations up and had a few eye rolls from some people which is why I wrote this post.

Also Muslims I work with will bring home cooked (extremely delicious) food to share with us all on some of their festivals. They obviously are happy to share

Haha - not liking turkey but eating anyway it for your most favoured festival demonstrates a very British attitude to food I believe! There's a reason no one eats it any other time of year

I have no religion. Christmas for me isn’t a religious festival, more of an end of year celebration. We give each other presents and have a big meal. It’s just about being with the ones you love. Easter is a springtime celebration too, a feast, no religious connotations for us. We also do the same on bank holidays - see family, have a feast. Halloween is just a bit of fun for the children - I didn’t think it had any religious connotations, just folklore from the British Isles.

YANBU. To be honest, I think what you do is the more common way of doing things on in the UK these days. I'm not a Christian, but I celebrate Christmas, Easter, Shrove Tuesday etc. It's all part of your culture, as is Eid in your case. Your kids are lucky to have multiple cultures to draw from.

Thank you for this. I do think they're lucky as they get the best of both worlds. And hopefully don't have to experience the generational trauma that I went through.

I'm lucky to be surrounded by lovely people in the form of neighbours/colleagues etc who are open minded and accepting and generally respectful of all cultures.

Sometimes with the way this world is and the things going on which affects me as a Muslim and makes people look at us in a negative light makes me worry for my kids but I know there's so much good out there.

I'm a Christian. I know that for much of the UK, Christmas and Easter have lost much of their religious meaning and have become cultural events. If you feel happy that they have become part of your personal culture too, then celebrate them. If your reason is because it brings joy to your children, well that's hardly an evil reason is it? And I'm certainly not offended by it.

I think it's similar (in a way) that you would likely celebrate Thanksgiving on the 4th Thursday in November, and Independence day on July the 4th if you're in America, but wouldn't necessarily in England because there's no culture of it being "a thing".

We do generally all celebrate Easter, Christmas, Halloween etc though because basically as you say, it's a social/cultural event and everyone's doing it.

In Thailand where I only lived for a couple of years, I still joined in with the Chinese new year festivities because why wouldn't I.

It's lovely to mix up cultural celebrations when it's part of your family history, and where you live now.