She wrote in it!

[bananahammok]

Aibu??

I wrote and self published my first book. I had a copy of it sent to me. The quality of the paper wasn't quite right and so I've taken it offline until I can get the quality of paper changed. Today after work, my mum and I were talking about it and she told me something she thought I should change. She wrote in it where she thought the changes should be. I'm annoyed. She feels like it doesn't matter cos the paper is gonna change anyway.

Does she always belittle your achievements?

I don’t see the issue, it’s almost like a draft copy that you’re getting amended, you’ll get a new version. I agree with your mum.

That was your first (currently only) copy?

If so, it was thoughtless of her to write in it unless you somehow encouraged her to.

If she's normally loving and supportive I wouldn't be worried about this. It's just a preliminary copy not a final print.

if this is a symptom of her normally being a bully or unsupportive I understand you being upset.

So your first addition has annotations from the authors mother?

If you are any good , this is inheritance territory. If you are not so good- well ... read them and change it

She's not heard of post it notes? This is what they're for. She's out of order.

It's not a draft

and even if it had been, OP didn't ask her mother to edit it.

With the event of print on demand, there is no longer a concept of first editions. That only applies to traditional print runs.

It was a bit weird of the mother, but I can see why she thought of it as something disposable as the physical book was of imperfect quality.

Its being sent back though because its not right so its not a signed off finalised copy.

I’m team mum sorry.

I'd be unhappy about that too. A few years ago, I painted a picture for my parents anniversary. My mum criticised it and when I visited some time later, I discovered she'd altered it ....in BIRO! I know the painting wasn't perfect but even so....

It's the first copy of something OP wrote and presumably is proud of

unwanted suggestions now spoil that first copy

When you’re a million-selling author, imagine what this copy will be worth. Imagine if we had one of Dickens’ proof copies where his mum had made “helpful suggestions “ 😂 It would be worth a fortune.

She shouldn’t have done it but I imagine she meant well. Good luck with your book- what an achievement!

Bizarre responses. Regardless of whether people think it should matter or not, it does matter to you and it was your property so your mum shouldn't have written in it. Even if it was a paper draft I would still ask a relation "do you mind if I jot my notes on this?"

Your mum’s a dick. HTH

Does she normally edit your work?
I can imagine if you usually have her proofreading that she might have done it without thinking, just like she usually would on a printed out manuscript if that's how she normally works.
But it does feel intrusive especially if she doesn't ever edit or proofread at your request.

I think you and she just have different attitudes to this copy. You see it as an important moment, she sees it as essentially a last chance to correct, so a sort of proof copy, in order to improve the final book. Was she correcting typos, or larger errors, or making more substantial alterations to the writing? Had she read the final MS pre-‘publication’? A good friend’s traditionally-published novel got through the entire editorial and proofing process at a major publisher without anyone noticing till final proofs (when her husband did) that the sun set twice in one scene!

I had a teacher at school like this.

He would go through an essay that I had written e.g. 'What I Done on my Holiday' and correct my grammar and spelling, and even suggest things that I could have written about - and he did all this with a RED biro!

He was worse than Draco.

You don’t write in something that belongs to someone else without permission. If the book was yours - regardless of anything else re paper quality, that you’re the author etc - it belongs to you and she shouldn’t be writing in it. Unless you gave consent.

having said that, bad a lot of history, I wouldn’t fall out with her over it.

Why is your mum over-stepping like this?
It's fucking rude to write on your book in the 1st place and incredibly belittling.

Is your mum a writer/author/editor/works in publishing? If she does then I don't think that's too bad, she's in 'work' mode rather than 'mum' mode.

If not, then maybe she wants you to correct her work? Eg if she's an account, maybe add notes to her spreadsheets, or change some of the wording in her emails to clients, she how she likes it!