To ask if you would rather work 3 days a week but have a lot less money - back to work after mat leave

[Worklifebalance245]

Posting here for traffic as I am so torn.
Planning return to work. One kid in school and one baby.

DH does shifts - last time we made it work with 3 days a week childcare and me flexible working around his shifts so we both had a day off most weeks with the child..but it meant I often had to work 4 days, have child 1 day in the week and then again on my own the weekends he had work and tbh im shattered plus now there will be 2 kids to entertain on the weekends on my own. It ends up that I end up back to back working and alone weekends for 2 consecutive weeks twice in the rota period as well. .

Option 1) go back 3 days a week but essentially lose alot of fun money but gives me more flexibility and possibly day off without child every so often. Child would go into child care 3 days per week and always have at least 1 day with me if not 2 some weeks plus every weekend.

Option 2) return to work full time but on condensed 4 day week. Child goes to childcare 4 days a week (but I don't have to send them on my days off if I want to spend the day with them or choose to have a child free day to get housework stuff done etc. Would be better off around £1000 per month this way which pays for weekend days out, holidays and savings etc.

I guess I feel guilty I made it work for first child and now for 2nd I'm feeling like I need that extra day.... Plus money would benefit the family overall right?

Do you not have an option 3 of working a normal 4 day week with child in childcare? Do you have the option to increase your hours later, or will this be difficult once you change your working pattern?

Actually I'm confused why you only reference one child - is there a large age gap so that older child doesn't need it, or are you meaning both children would be in childcare?

Assuming it's a younger school age child, I think these are the tough years- you have 2 children who still need a lot of support and you have 2 places to get between which adds extra complexity. I would err on the side of making it as easy for you as possible. Ideally, I'd suggest that was 3 days in the short term moving to 4 days (but not compressed) in the longer term. But depends if that's available as an option.

Sorry should have clarified that the older child would also go to the childminder before and after school on the same days.

I initially went back only 4 normal days but found myself working extra hours because the workload didn't change. So I can choose to work 5 days or compressed 4 days or 4.5 days etc. as long as I fulfil my hours.

Thank you for replying.

Aw I wouldn't feel guilty about either choice.

I completely understand why you wouldn't want to go back to the previous arrangement, and don't think it would work anyway as the kids get to school age and you need sickness cover.

I wouldn't feel guilty for either option; I wouldn't feel guilty for needing more time at home, nor for wanting more financial flexibility.

What I would say from my personal experience, is that it's easier to go from part time to steadily increasing your income, than it is to be earning a certain amount and need to take a step back.

Im 99% sure that if I cut my hours down to 3 days a week, the rest of my salary would be taken elsewhere in the budget and my role is quite niche so not easy to then gain those hours back if my 3 days a week is enough for them to get my input if that makes sense.

That's the other reason I am torn, it's like the younger years go so fast so enjoy the time with them, or the younger years go so fast don't cut your work off as before you know it they will be in school 5 days a week and you'll be able to work full time fairly easily.

Because DH does shifts he nearly always has days off in the week (but not the same days so we have to pay for childcare places to ensure I can work) but my work are happy for me to switch my day off each week to fit around shifts. So sickness and school related things there would still always be one of us around if needed. Either DH would be off or my role is flexible I can change days off etc.

Could you go back full time but agree with DH that you take a few weeks of parental leave which is unpaid? You could use that for holidays when you are all together (it has to be taken in full weeks) and save 10-15 days of your annual leave allowance for 'recovery days'.

So if you've had the DC on your own all weekend you could take a Monday or Friday off to get jobs done, do something nice for yourself or just have a relaxing day.

Less of a hit financially and at least you'll be paid for doing the full-time job rather than trying to do a full-time job in fewer hours and getting paid less for it.

I’d go back 4 compressed days from what you describe.

its still 1 day 1:1 with baby and £1000 extra money per months allows a lot of flexibility when looking after the kids when your husband is working…

rainy weekend? Let’s go to soft play as they get older, cinema, bowling etc

these things cost money and I’d rather work more but be able to splurge on time off than work less and not be able to afford the extras that can make life easier and more fun

I did Option 1.
I went to 4 days a week when my youngest started primary school, and went back to very nearly full time (compressed) hours when my youngest child was secondary age. My dc are 13 and 16 now, but dm needs done of my time. 4 long days works well for us.

Full time sounds like it suits your job better. I don’t think the expectations of you from work will drop down to 60% along with the pay - some roles just don’t work that way and you can end up feeling very stretched.

4 days sounds like it has more flexibility for poorly children and life in general - working around shifts is tricky

Can you start off 3 days (perhaps using annual leave) with a plan to build up to 4 compressed days? If it is too much and 3 days worked better, drop back down?

I think you need to see what will work for you.

Agree that less pressure and less tiredness with DC is helpful if you can afford to do 3 days and time goes quickly as you said.