To refuse to share my ensuite

[Mybigbathroom]

Friend staying for a week in my spare room, I've told her to use the main bathroom which has a shower

She has just said she would prefer to use my ensuite as finds it easier to use

AIBU to have said no, don't like people traipsing through my bedroom and using my private sanctuary !

You are right, I hadn't thought of that, now thinking about it she didn't bring shampoo conditioners and shower gel so I suspect that's why

I don’t even let my husband use my en-suite 😁

I always use my friends en suite when I stay. It's nicer than the main bathroom shower. I don't remember how it started, but it was at her suggestion, years ago. Never mentioned it since🤷🏻‍♀️ & I take all my own toiletries thanks very much.

@Mybigbathroom it wouldn't bother me. It's always clean & uncluttered & I don't care about my friends going in my bedroom.

However, if it bothers you, just say 'no' 🤷🏻‍♀️

once she has gone I'd make a point of using the other shower & seeing if I can sort out why she finds it difficult & maybe upgrade/get it fixe.

Do you have other people using it? Can you ask them what they think?!

Do you have any travel hotel//samples you could put in there??

That's absolutely fine.
Given your friend doesn't have any health issues that would require using your sanctuary.
I wouldn't even think about having people overnight at all and very unhappy to visit others overnight.
😎

Can I just ask, is it an accessibility thing? I am disabled, walk badly, slip easily. Staying with sister I have choice of her shower, flat, walk in, no grab rails as they are for the elderly (I am not elderly) or BiL’s bathroom with shower over bath behind immovable screen. Not easy.

How is the shower tricky?

Cheeky.
That's not on..
I'd hate anyone using my en suite.

I’d just put a cheap shampoo/conditioner/soap in the main bathroom if you haven’t already,

Good lord are people really this spineless in real life? unless there's a backstory like her saving you from a burning building ... Your house your rules. She's already staying for free.

@Sharptonguedwoman If someone has a genuine need for something that most people would consider CFery, they need to open their mouths and say so. Specifics, not vague comments on preference and trickiness.

It's not the hosts job to guess at possible reasons r.e. accessibility, disability blah blah blah.

Also OP how does she even know what your ensuite looks like? Why was she even there?

I have an en suite and it’s not available to anyone but me. I can’t believe the cheek of her telling you that.

Who are these 1-2% of people who always vote YABU?!

seriously if you voted YABU, why?

I always put toiletries in my guest bathroom, tbf it's nicer than my own bathroom anyway.

Why is it easier? Does she have some disability that makes the main bathroom difficult? If not, hard luck, your house your rules.

My gran struggles with our shower (broke it once) so now when she stays I go in and switch it on and leave her to it, would that help?

Me neither!

We have a girls bathroom (my en-suite) and the family bathroom is for all the boys - DH and 2 teen sons. I don’t go in there. They have to clean it and everything.

Anyway, guest is cheeky and weird. Say no and show her how to use the shower. Lend her shampoo etc if she hasn’t brought any.

Tell her that the nearest b&b or hotel has very nice ensuite that she can use there.

So you've got a bathroom each?

Sounds like bloody luxury to me!

@Mybigbathroom I would be getting a lock put on your bedroom door asap so she cannot even go in there!! bloody cheeky git!

This clearly is a power issue, she's asserting herself over you.

In such situations, guests shouldn't even get to see your ensuite/bedroom unless particularly close.

The only possible reason to push to use yr ensuite would be if it has a facilitiy the main bathroom didn't, like a bath. I would have thought likely it's the other way round.

As for the issue of soaps, shampoos etc, surely you would have these available, not expect guests to bring their own.

Be firm with a dismissive attitude.

Yes I did say no, didn't elaborate just that I would prefer she use main bathroom, she is a bit put out I think but I have given her shampoo etc so no reason she can't use main one. It's the traipsing through my bedroom I don't want !

It's awful that some people are just so pushy.

Your friend sounds like a really tight arse. I'm not sure I'd stay close enough for them to come to stay with me again in the future.

My main bathroom is downstairs. DC always preferred going downstairs even at night than the embarrassment of walking through the main bedroom to the ensuite 😂. My ensuite also currently resembles an outbuilding. It's quite large so my DH stores loads of things on a shelf in it and on the floor...

Nope. If we have a full house of visitors/guests, then I get all our DC to use our ensuite. I don’t care if my kids use it in this circumstance, but I’m not having anyone else use it.