Trick or treat etiquette

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What are the rules around Halloween? I have an almost three year old. Do we go trick or treating?

If so, we live in area with mainly flats but also some houses. The acquaintances we have most we don’t know where they live. On what doors do we knock?

I HATE trick or treat.

We spend all our time saying "don't accept sweets from strangers"....

Only knock on doors with decorated houses / a pumpkin.

Yes I’m sure your 3 year old will love it. Only go to the houses that are obviously participating - around here that means pumpkin lit as minimum, or decorated houses with lights on!

Our rule that they're only allowed to knock if there's a lot pumpkin outside the house.

Only knock on doors with a lit pumpkin.
Only take one sweet.
Say thank you!

Most of the participating houses around here are “decorated” with very gruesome ‘bodies’ / mummies/ skeletons attached to the walls, or hanging from trees etc in the gardens, ‘crime scene’ tape around the doors and hideous scary looking monster / witchy faces peering out of windows etc.

I wouldn’t take a three year old anywhere near them.

Full disclosure- I don’t like Halloween.

Good God at not even 3 years old I wouldn't bother. You'll have masses of hassle and nagging about sodding Halloween when they are older. Buy some sweets and put a pumpkin out if you want to trick or treat. Otherwise stay home and enjoy peace and quiet

It's a terrible thing to teach a child that it's ok to demand sweets from strangers and threaten them if they don't comply. If you're ok with that then only do it at houses that have loads of decorations up so are likely to be actively participating.

Could you arrange to go and visit the homes of a few people you know who are up for getting in the spirit?

Och shoosh - 3 is fine to go trick or treating!! But yes only to houses that are decorated and are all lit up, curtains open etc!

It’s hardly ‘demanding’ when you go to houses which are decorated and are actually waiting to give children sweets.

Only go to decorated houses or a pumpkin showing. I used to take mine and and hand sweets out. Now my kids are teens we don't participate anymore as we have other things on at Halloween.

When we were kids we knocked on every door in our street, but I agree times have changed and we only get them if I decorate the door and put pumpkins out.
The last 3 or 4 years we have had a Halloween party for my DS and his friends so I decorate the garden and house entrance and we get lots of trick or treaters during the evening.

At 3 I'd stay home and teach them the other side of trick or treating where they enjoy giving out the sweets. I did trick or treating with mine from 5 onwards once they started school, just felt the right time.

I don’t like Halloween and DS hates it. We don’t decorate the house and ignore anyone who does knock.

Others love it and have their houses decorated making it clear they are happy to take part. So people can go to them and they can enjoy it together.

as long as everyone is respectful there is no reason those who like it can’t enjoy it without disturbing those who choose not to.

In Scotland it's called "guising" (from disguising) based on the tradition of disguising oneself to fool the witches about on All Hallows Eve.

Children going guising were expected to sing a song or recite a poem/ nursery rhyme or tell some jokes in return for the sweets/apple/nut.

I hate the assumption that Halloween is an American import - they got it from us !!

Only knock on doors with decorations/pumpkins. It’s also fine to go to nearby neighbourhoods if yours doesn’t have many houses that are participating.

There's no rule that stipulates you have to take your two year old trick or treating. Common courtesy dictates that you only knock at decorated houses and not bother anyone who isn't participating.

If I were you, I wouldn't for a couple of years. I'd wait until your child had friends to go around with as it's not as good with just a parent, and as a PP has pointed out, a lot of people put up quite gruesome and potentially frightening decorations. You also want your child to understand the process, that this night is different and taking sweets from a bowl offered by a stranger is OK (it helps that there's a parent with them) and that you must be polite to others.

I don't know about the flats, I wouldn't expect them to be decorated somehow but if you go to the houses, that's probably enough walking with such a young child.

It's a lot more fun when they get a bit older! At your child's age we just did little Halloween parties indoors and left ToT until they had started school.

All the guisers that come to us always have a song or a poem ready.

My mum hateed trick or treating until she came out with DD and saw how unofficially organised it was. Some people go to real effort and raise money for charity.

The unwritten rules here are that you knock on people's doors that have decorated and not those that aren't. The church opens up for a light trail and has hot drinks and soups available and some Jesus is the light crafts, but is open to everyone and is more of a community thing than a religious one.

When you get home, get rid of any home made treats and lollipops and hard sweets that aren't appropriate.

If a house is decorated, has pumpkins out etc then it's fine for guisers to knock.

If no decorations then move on to the next one.

So can it be assumed you are strongly against children visiting Santa as well.

Initiating the contact ibetween your child and a stranger is very different as you well know. The difference can also be taught

Or a duff joke.
Why did the ghost 👻 not go to the party?
He had no-body to go with!

Only go to decorated houses. Only go actually on Halloween.
Say Happy Halloween not trick or treat!

Honestly the fact some people HATE children having a bit of harmless joy is actually really sad.