Sleep when the baby sleeps & chores can wait - theory vs practice

[Netball01]

I have a 3 week old baby and all I’ve heard is to sleep when the baby sleeps and chores / laundry can wait. Which is really nice in theory but AIBU to think it’s impossible to implement?!

He seems to have really long wake periods so when he’s asleep i feel like it’s a race against time to get things like eating and showering done let alone chores and naps. I’ve got an absolute mound of laundry to get through that really can’t wait as baby is running low on clothes.

did anyone else find this ?! Or am I missing a trick somewhere. DH is out the house at 6am for work and is trying to get home by 7pm but not always possible with work. He does as much as he can when he’s Back but there are some things that can’t wait.

I always hated that advice. Impossible anyway if you also have a toddler, and lots of adults don't benefit from snatching little bits of sleep during the day - it just makes you feel groggy. That on top of a sink full of dishes would be the absolute worst for me. Having spent quite a lot of the day trapped on the sofa under a newborn, when s/he slept I just wanted to leap up and DO stuff. Having a tidy house and clean hair was (and still is, more than 20 years on) really important to my mental health and wellbeing. I used the playmat and bouncy chair early on.

By the way, the other game changer to a sling is a feeding pillow that hooks around your back. Baby can feed hands free, and you can carefully eat at the same time (I say carefully as in no hot food - I got really cross with my husband always bringing me piping hot plates).

Tortellini and slow cooker meals - anything you can eat with a fork or spoon one handed.

Just do what you can. At three weeks old babies are clingy, and you need to rest and recover physically. Look after yourself and the baby, and the rest really can wait. Absolutely no need to rush around - DH can tidy up when he gets home.

Try a sling (my baby hated them) or potter while holding baby if you can, but by all means just sit on the sofa and watch shit TV. I used to have some days where I got stuff done, and some days when I just slept as soon as baby was asleep because I was so tired. It changes as they get older, they'll be in more of a routine in a few months and then you'll know you've got a bit more time.

I always put baby in the sling and did chores during his wake windows, but I absolutely slept while he slept as I needed it.

I can't just sleep at random times no matter how tired I am so it was never going to work for me. I had a lot of days though where I was too tired to do FA.

It only works for DC1.

If you have a baby and a toddler you'll never achieve it.

There’s no secret to it. It all gets done somehow and you’ll fall into many rhythms over many years, until one day they’re all grown up.

You’re doing really well and congratulations!

I think it's one of those things everyone recommends but very few people can actually do it!

It is only really feasible for first baby and then it depends on baby actually having a good chunk of sleep,

I was lucky with DC1 in that he was a winter baby and he slept well so we'd often go back to bed for an hour after DP left for work or take a nice, long afternoon nap, Still had plenty of time for chores and meeting friends and seeing family etc.

DC2 would be eyeballing me the moment I attempted to rest so it never really happened with her (she did co-sleep with me at night though as it was the only way I got any rest at all!)

DC3 was game over as I had DC1 and DC2 to manage as well.

“Sleep when the baby sleeps” is impossible with my five week old as he only sleeps in my arms!

And chores can’t be done when awake as he will not be put down and only wants to be… in my arms! 🤪

I've had two children and I absolutely did not want any sleep deprivation each time so I took frequent naps when the babies slept and avoided feeling tired all the time like so many other new mothers do.

We made sure that everything was up to date at home and I kept on top of it whilst my husband was at work. When he came home he took over so I could have time for myself such as beauty regime, having a bath etc or for me to feed and feel as with baby whilst he did stuff in the home.

It was much easier with our second child.

How are you coping sitting up all night and day holding him?

At night time he will lie next to me on the mattress for about six-seven hours, feeding approx every 1.5 hours. I follow the Safe 7 co-sleeping guidelines.

In the day… I just have to hold him. I eat one handed, make drinks and snacks one handed etc. We have repeatedly tried putting him down in the crib / bouncer / Moses / play mat, but he just doesn’t like it.