Family still isolating after Covid

[CaptainAwkward]

Bit of a strange one but I've been concerned

A family I know locally have four children, one of them with disabilities which obviously made them vulnerable during the pandemic

However, after taking all four children out of school to be home schooled, have seemed to have withdrawn completely since then

Oldest child (now 16) hasn't physically seen any of her friends for four years and has refused meet ups and contact with them. There's no meet ups with other home schooling families or groups and the only other children they see are each other

The parents no longer work and the children hardly ever leave the house (only to get in the car occasionally)

Shopping is delivered and they seem to have developed a bunker mentality, completely isolated from the world

We (me, friends, school friends' parents etc) have been ghosted after trying to offer support and contact during the first year or so

I'm equally perplexed and worried about the kids

They may have been seen by the local authority person responsible for monitoring home educated children. You could contact them to tell them of your concerns. I think you are right to be concerned.

If the vulnerability is because of severe immune compromise, or one of the other conditions that means you get the jabs twice a year, then - if you follow the government's advice, your life will be like this.

www.gov.uk)

It's shielding-lite - WFH, shop online, keep away from people who may have covid (which these days means everyone, as the testing regime is largely dismantled, and people go out and about even with symptoms that could be covid).

There are well over 1.5million people who fall in to that category.

Don't assume people are acting irrationally when they are cautious about catching a disease that could kill them or one of their household.

(BTW: it's not about the jabs - some people with serious immune system issues do not form any response to the jab, and so remain as vulnerable as we all were before the jab and covid deaths were running at about 9%)

Covid is still a thing so they still need to shield from it. Not sure why you have a problem with them trying to keep their family safe. There's no abuse going on, just a family struggling to keep everyone healthy.

Covid is still a "thing" as in the disease still exists. As do flu, measles, infectious mononucleosis, bacterial pneumonia, norovirus, gastroenteritis...etc etc...Preventing your children from having normal development and possibly keeping abuse or neglect hidden is not an acceptable response to the level of threat that Covid now presents. Please report again to SS.

That is extremely concerning. Do whatever you can do please keep pushing this even if it becomes uncomfortable. I would consider this to be a form of neglect.

Honestly? Mind your own bloody business. There's nothing in the behaviour you describe that sounds concerning, just a family with a disabled child trying to go about their business. How do you know the oldest child hasn't seen any friends in four years? Presumably you must know someone who is in contact with them if they have told you this, but if they are in contact with outsiders then they are not truly isolated.

You seem to be spending way too much time monitoring them. How do you know they don't leave at times you're not watching, unless of course you've got a motion-detecting camera trained on their property.

Basically what I would do is tell all relevant authorities and pass it on knowing I had done my bit. I would contact NSPCC, Social Services and the children's former school who may have already potentially built a case of concerns about them and will be able to liaise with other professionals. If other people drop the ball that is on them but I would have done my bit in "Safeguarding is everyone's job".

You sound almost stalkerish and I can see why they have ghosted you.

All your knowledge is based on speculation and SS have been contacted and have no concerns. Yes, sometimes SS get it wrong but those times are in the minority.

It’s attitudes likes yours that allows abuse to go undetected. It’s perfectly acceptable to raise a concern with Children’s Services (and this is concerning) and allow a professional to explore and assess.

Safeguarding children is everybody's business. Children are entitled to socialise, be educated and to be part of a community - not shut inside their home 24/7.

There have been far too many revelations about harm that comes to children when they're isolated by parents / carers - including families with multiple children. The alleged murderers of Sara Sharrif are currently in court being tried for her murder - she was home schooled, allegedly to hide her injuries from scrutiny. Yes - this is extreme but if people had reported her absence and visible injuries, she might have been protected from a terrible death:
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2024/oct/15/sara-sharif-injuries-court

Please report this again OP - these children deserve to be supported by being checked up on to ensure that all is well with them.

I knew there'd be a few 'mind your own business' type responses and, to be honest, I'm usually one of those posters on threads 😂

I really hope that I'm wrong about a lot of things/assumptions and the children do go out and have real life friends

My 16 year old and their friends tried messaging the girl again a couple of months ago. Asked how she was doing, if she wanted to meet up or even just a video call. The girl engaged for a bit but said she didn't feel it was necessary to 'go out' and had friends online that she talked to now then closed down the conversation
These (my DC and pals) were lovely kids she saw every day at school and after until the isolation

Many other people have brought concerns about the dynamic including their family, childhood friends of the couple, friends and of the teenager, ex teaching staff of the kids' old school.
Another family with a child who has more complex disabilities said that they were concerned as they themselves had taken lots of precautions re covid but were gobsmacked at the extreme nature of a four year isolaion

Family members who visited at least weekly (pre all this) have said 'they just don't go out any more and we can't go round'

I don't know if others have reported concerns and that any information passed on to SS that results in intervention etc rightfully won't be fed back to the member of the public reporting

I started this post this morning as I was reminded of the situation because a photo of the kids came up from years ago and wanted to hear if any of this was 'normal'

Also, I think I'd be done for murder if I had to stay in the house for that length of time with only my partner and kids no matter how much I love them!

In regards to 'stalkerish' behaviour: this stuff has been over four years and I don't really think about them a lot tbh?
People have approached me as I live so close.
When walking past their home several times a day to get out of the road plus my DC also doing the same it would be hard not to notice their vehicle etc
Also as my DC was so close to theirs plus a lot of support I gave the family (was asked to by them when their DC with disabilities was born) people have tended to ask me if they're okay?

I know they want to keep thier disabled child healthy but what about thier other children? They have a right to an education, to grow and to live thier lives outside of the home. Viruses that could kill the vulnerable existed before Covid, they were able to live thier lives then. They have done so much damage to thier children's mental health, how are these teens going to leave home and become functioning members of society?

I wouldn't hesitate to report this again OP.

One requirement of home education is that it "prepares the child for the society in which they live". It doesn't sound as if these children are being adequately prepared. I'm not sure you will get anywhere with social services as you have no evidence of abuse, I do think you have grounds to raise concerns with the local home education department. They are usually so short staffed that most people just send a report in rather than be seen. Might be worth seeing if they are aware of the children's isolation.

The "mind your own business" people are why terrible abuse and even murders occur. Keeping children safe is everyone's business.

Are you 100% sure all of them are still alive? There's been a lot of cases over recent years where people have become hermits to hide someone's death/abused/starving person etc, it has definitely become more common and I'm surprised SS weren't sure how to behave with it. I'd report again definitely as I've seen a lot more cased like this on the news in the last 2 years. Best case it's nothing like that but they must at a minimum have something to hide like serious hoarding. I think I'd be knocking their door and speaking to the mum and saying look can I just come in for 5 minutes and have a chat? If she says no and keeps you on the doorstep and you can't see inside I'd be really concerned but either way I'd be reporting to SS and quoting some of the most recent cases that have been in the news.

Literally wfat my old work said @theDudesmummy 😊

Do you actually believe this? That shielding entirely from the world in case of Covid is normal behaviour?

2 years ago. When Covid was still something that a small minority of people were still very worried about. When it was fresh in people's minds. It's now 2 whole years later and you think this is fine and nobody should be bothered about it?

I'd wouldn't wish to cause trouble for a fellow Home Educator but this is concerning. Contact the LA, some of them are downright tenacious so at least they won't give up on the kids. This is too far one way, we all deserve privacy but this is just too far gone especially if they have cut off all family and no one is allowed inside the house.

Do report this. Don't be fobbed off. It's very worrying indeed.

There is no way that this can be seen as an acceptable way to bring children up. I would be very concerned, and I would report.

It would be very interesting to know how social services view such a situation. It might well be similar to children having to live in a smoke-filled home - legal, but damaging to children nonetheless.

Nothing that sounds concerning? Are you serious?
Absolutely contact SS again, OP. And the NSPCC. We have no idea what is halo behind those closed doors and those children may really need help. This behaviour is not normal at all.

There's a case in ireland at the moment where a 6 yo boy called Kyran Durnin was taken out of school to be home schooled 2 years ago. He hasn't been since and is now persumed dead and they are searching for his body.
Maybe if it was reported sooner, he may have been saved. I'm not saying 1 of them is dead but a welfare check to make sure all is well sounds like a good idea. I would definitely report.