First Kiss ... HELP!

[firstkiss]

After a good while of being single, I have met someone on a dating site. We have been speaking for several weeks and get on great.

This is someone who is lovely, kind, thoughtful, considerate, funny, smart .. and gorgeous.

When we met for our first date, it was clear we both really like each other. And really fancy the pants off each other.

Second date was also really lovely. We had a great time .. then we kissed.

The kiss felt very reserved.. like, not really opening their mouth much.
She made it clear after that she really enjoyed the kiss.

So Towards the end of the date, I went in for another kiss thinking it might be a little different, more passionate.. but again it was really reserved.

I don't want to sound shallow - everything else is great. So so great!!

But the kissing ... I like to really feel a kiss, like where you feel it through your whole body. Where you can't get enough and it sort of blows your socks off.

Later on she messaged saying she could sense I wanted a more passionate kiss.. but that she felt self conscious because we were in public.
We were outside but no one was around at all. We were on a walk and no one could see us.

I don't know if I'm being unreasonable. I do want to keep seeing her. We really like each other. But the kiss felt like an awkward teenage friends kiss or something. Not sure how to explain it.

Honestly don’t underestimate the being outside thing - people can be intensely private and she might’ve been mortified at the thought of being caught! I fully understand what you mean about wanting to really feel a kiss, and if it’s the same in private I would have a rethink, but this doesn’t seem like a dealbreaker yet!

on the flip side, I had an ex boyfriend who would always try and push me to go physically further with him than I felt comfortable with when outside/ in public - it was an act of control on his part, not desire. I would probs act the same as her, even if I fancied the pants off you! You don’t know her full story yet, there may be something there.

She explained why she felt that way, some people don't like kissing in public, regardless of if it's busy or not.
If you like her wait and see how things progress, she may be more relaxed privately.

And first/2nd/3rd kisses can often be awkward till you find your groove with each other.

Are you both women? That could be one reason if she feels uncomfortable with pda and unwanted attention from males, for example.

Give it time and take things easy.

@Moonday
Yes we're both women and I did consider this. As I don't kiss in front of people outside etc for that exact reason.

@TinyTom
Yes, I understand what you mean. I think she is quite private

I actually think a first public kiss can make me more self conscious than a first shag. It sounds like its going really well, just accept that some aspects of intimacy take timing and kissing is when you think about it, really intimate.

(Kindly) you're being unreasonable. It's perfectly understandable for people not to want to go in for a full on snog in public, even if there is currently no one else around.

Come on OP! Surely you can see why she is holding back on the 'passionate kissing'! Unless you're 17 and have no boundaries, passionate kissing (that you 'feel in your whole body' 🤦‍♀️) shouldn't be done outside in a public area!

I'd be absolutely mortified if someone tried that with me (and I'm a very passionate person!)

Be respectful (of her, and the general public!!)

I am well aware I could be totally unreasonable with this. It was a first kiss. The first 1st kiss I've had in about 14 years so I feel new to this. Even though I'm really not. Thank you for your comments.

I've been with DP 7 years, get married next year & I hate kissing in public. Quick peck yes, anything more is a hard no! First kiss in public would be the worst. Sounds like she's the same. I'd give it time 😁