I have 3 DCS. Eldest is now 20, neuroltypical and really enjoying university . DS 18 has recently finished his A Levels and is taking a year out before he goes to university in our home city (he is neurodiverse and we had an absolute nightmare getting him through his GCSES, but we got there).
DD2 12 is also neurodiverse and in the last 2-3 weeks I cannot get her to school. She's year 8. During year 7 a lot of reasonable adjustments were put in place and she managed, but during year 8 she has had several new teachers and I think the adjustments have slipped,
She is now struggling to attend school. It's awful and I don't know what to do. We've had a meeting, they've said they will do x,y and z, but there was a definite implication that my dd is milking it and needs to get back to school.
The day after the meeting, she wasn't willing/able to go to school. Eventually, with a lot of coaxing, I got her in (without uniform, she wasn't going in with it because she was afraid they'd make her go to lessons) late and we both got told off for her trouble. My daughter in particular was told that I will get into trouble if she doesn't attend school. Anyway, she spent an hour with a pupil engagement officer and seemed a lot happier. The day after that she attended school for the whole day and seemed OK.
This morning, she has refused again, despite saying she had a good day on Friday. I don't know what to do. She hasn't attended more than two days a week for the last three weeks and I can't make her and if I did make her, she would lose all trust in me which would make it worse.
School seem to think that I'm pandering to her and keeping her off to keep me company or something (I work three days a week in shifts for the NHS so this is not the case at all). She says she wants to go to school but can't make herself go and gets really anxious and upset. I realise that there probably isn't a quick fix, but any advice gratefully received.
Thank you