To ask if you believe “the heart wants what it wants?”

[BeRealRedSquid]

We often hear the phrase ‘the heart wants what it wants’ when it comes to relationships or difficult choices. Do you believe this is a legitimate way to explain our emotional decisions? Or is it just an excuse to justify actions that might not make sense logically or morally?

AIBU to think that sometimes following your heart isn’t the right thing to do, even though it feels like it in the moment? I’d love to hear what you think about this idea and whether you believe the heart should always have the final say.

Just take a look at the 'blended families thread'

Well I suppose it's true. But just because we want something doesn't mean we can just use that as an excuse to have it.

Quite often my heart wants something but it's a signal that really, it needs something else, usually some nourishment I am not giving myself.

The stronger the craving for something outside, the more the inner lack, to be honest.

In short, my heart is a dysregulated toddler lurching from crush to crush. It needs some milk and a nice quiet time watching Bluey or it just cries uncontrollably.

Totally agree.

Interesting that everyone immediately associates this with affairs!

I thought it was just another way of saying 'follow your heart'

Woody Allen said it to ‘justify’ a relationship with his step daughter. Worse than an affair I think.

It makes no sense to me. Your heart is just a muscle that pumps blood around your body.
You act based on what is going on in your brain, or your groin.
Maybe the people who trot out this line as some justification for shit/painful choices should be honest with themselves and just say "the genitals want what they want".

Yes, but ‘The groin wants what the groin wants’ sounds a lot less lofty. Though more accurate.