Feeling like people think I'm lazy because they don't understand fatigue in chronic illness

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I just don't have that much energy some days. Due to a chronic illness.

I do as much as I can but also have small kids and my 2 year old has been ill the last few days and I've had interrupted sleep, worrying about him and looking after him. I need to rest throughout the day.

I need to take regular breaks and just lie down, that's how I function. I lie down for 10 minutes, sometimes a bit longer and then continue whatever I need to do.

My house is pretty ok, I have cleaners but having small kids who grow, sometimes I have toys to sort and clothes to sort that are too small. I do that kind of thing every few months, as much as I can. I find it exhausting. I try to get regular exercise but on the days I exercise I'm even more wiped out. I'm currently in between jobs, which is lovely - but I usually work full time and start a new jobs in a few weeks.

Anyway, here to my main point. My parents are visiting at the moment and they're the type of people who cannot sit still. They know I struggle with my health but as my problems aren't visible, I feel like they just think I'm lazy. They'll be doing stuff and say ' oh I'm so tired 'and I'll go ' yeah me too ' and they'll be like ' what are you tried from ? You didn't do anything '.. just makes me feel like shit.

Can anyone relate ? It's especially tricky when dealing with high energy people who can't sit still.

Id snap at them! People dont tend to keep poking a dog once its bitten :D

Don’t say anything at all or just ignore them.

Yup. It's very frustrating. It's like the people you live and trust their judgement somehow seem to not know or believe you at all. ❤️‍🩹

Somehow you have to find the strength to not care what they think..

For me, diagnosis made all the difference, because I knew that regular rest was the best treatment for my condition (Myasthenia). But before diagnosis I realised I cared what others thought because deep down I also judged myself as lazy.

Now I know I am far from lazy and that my 100% is just by necessity much less activity than someone else's.

But it's not easy when you have an invisible condition, I hate how quick people are to judge others

I will admit, with my parents, I ended up having to send them an entire book about my condition before the penny dropped for them. I don't know if you have any information sheets or similar that you could send them?
if not I think you will be well within your rights to snap!

I also have a chronic illness and can completely relate. I have a friend who pesters me to go out and do things that I'm just not able to do, I've tried explaining and I get "well when you feel better then" while it's nice to be invited I just can't do as much now as my illness is progressing. I was telling another friend how it was making me feel and they said "you don't owe anyone an explanation and if they don't get it now they never will". It is exhausting dealing with chronic illness and even more exhausting constantly feeling like you have to justify what you are or are not well enough to do.

I have asthma, copd and have had a lobe of one lung removed. My lungs function at 40% of what is expected for someone my age.

The two people who understand totally are the two who I share our home with. They see me shaking with exhaustion after I've done some crazy thing like take a shower and wash my hair.

I don't give a monkey's if others don't understand, any comments wondering why I'm tired as I appear to have done nothing get short shrift. Most are sensible, mention it once, get their heads bitten off (alongside a medical explanation) and the give the subject a wide berth.

When I'm sat in a chair chatting, I can appear perfect ok, because I am. But walk alongside me into the kitchen while I make you a cup of tea, and you will hear, through my laboured breathing, that I'm most certainly not ok.

And all that now sounds like a whinge. It's really not. I'm fine. I've ordered my life to ensure I have energy saving devices all around me. I'm very lucky to be able to afford them, many cannot.

Do you know what though, it would be fine if you did want to whine. It's sad that we feel we aren't able too.

I am pleased you have lots of devices, adapting makes so much difference.

@SweetSakura you're right, of course, but by the same token I know how lucky I've been in life (cancer three times, but never needed chemo, a very good pension, an adult child and their partner who both appear to like me,and certainly keep me out of a care home 😁). So I've got a lot to be thankful for.

And, compared to the opening poster, who has a house to run and children to care for, I'm in a far more fortunate position.

I'm sorry you are all suffering with chronic health issues

I have a disease that when it relapses can cause havoc

I have a manic business run and work in full time and it's on my feet all day every day and seeing anything upto ten people in a day so my brain as well as my body gets tired

I also have a home and dc to look after but because my disease isn't visible people have no clue,my family at home do and my dh is amazing at sharing the load and taking it over completely when I'm off but my sibling and mum have no clue.

It's me they call for help or for a lift or to do something for them and fynnily enough meither of them work or have kids at home

im just really thankful that as long as i make sure i dont overwhelm myself and take time out to jyst sit and do nothing im fine