To stop contact and see when she contacts me-if ever!

[Sockmate123]

Mum friend of mine for 7 years. Her child is autistic. Relied on me heavily at the start as my child always invited her child to parties etc when no one else would. She only has one child.
Have noticed over last couple of years and particularly last few months that she only texts me when she needs something like information for a school trip or whatever. I suggest meeting for a coffee and she will say how busy she is. She has one child, doesn't work, parents are deceased.
We have gone out for dinner with her and hubby once and been at theirs for a BBQ a couple of summers ago.
It seems her son has no made one other friend who he has latched on to and now has no need for me maybe?
Would you just ignore now? Say a hi at the school and leave it at that? Feeling very used.

I think you’ve been kind and welcoming to her and her son in the past, she will know that. She maybe is tied up with her autistic child and life has moved on for her, rather than it being a deliberate snub. I would stay friendly but not chase after her as such.
People sometimes only have limited free time and it tends to go on things that are immediately necessary. Try not to take it to heart

It's not nice when this happens and it does feel awful when you feel used and then ignored. I would just say a bright hiya when you see her and walk on, it's hard but it's not worth letting her know that you're upset.

With hindsight do you think the two of you were ever actually friends, or just acquaintances? A dinner and a barbecue over 7 years sounds much more like the latter, and I think as children get older and begin building their own friendships, it’s normal for school mums to drift apart. I think it’s fine to acknowledge that and stop messaging, and focus on making your own friendships outside of your child now he’s older.

Reading that back it does sound like that! But we did do other stuff (the dinner/BBQ was just including the husbands). Her and I had gone out in the evening maybe 5 times and quite a lot of coffees/breakfasts. Covid was obviously in the midst of all that too.
I suppose I just feel a bit used. My son is very popular and because he included her child alot of others followed suit...the school had actively paired them for activities as my DS is very outgoing. I was happy and encouraged it. Now it seems though I have served my purpose. Her child is hard work, I felt really sorry for him and her. Recently it was his birthday and my son wasn't invited, only a couple of kids were. I suppose I just feel a bit used. You are probably right, I should just move on!

I think this does happen with friendships, people come in and out of your life according to circumstances and needs at the time. You must have been getting something from it too or you wouldn't have done it either, but yes, if it's run it's course, leave it be. That doesn't mean she's a terrible person or that anyone was being used, it was good and now it's not so good.

I think sometimes life just moves on. I agree you sound like acquaintances. She may not feel comfortable sharing all the details of her life with an acquaintance. It is a bit like a former workmate, sometimes life just moves on and although you intend to keep in touch things drift. There is no bad intention.