Stepping away from a friendship because of conspiracy theories

[summerpeach22]

My best friend of 19 years has changed drastically over the past few months after starting a relationship with someone who believes in many alternative theories—like the Earth being flat.

While I try to stay open-minded, it feels like she’s been pulled deep into these ideas, and it’s becoming all-consuming for her. It's all she wants to talk about with me and acts 'patronizing' about it if I don't agree with her. Just some examples:

She told me this boyfriend broke up with her because he found out she had a COVID booster last year, saying he’s afraid of "vaccine shedding" from her. In this same conversation, she was telling me that I should never have had it and that actually, she thinks the shot she had was expired (two years ago she had been banging on at me daily to get this done!). She was upset about the break-up, but now they seem to be back together as friends.

She suddenly got her first tattoo a few weeks ago which is about the flat earth theory, and insists the Earth is flat, calling her 'boyfriend' a source of 'wisdom' on these topics and knowing the truth. She will 'agree to disagree' on anything I say to try and counter this.

She keeps sending me book titles by text about chemtrails and the flat earth theory. These books seem very fringe and lack scientific credibility. However, if I point out anything a little more scientific to counter, she will not listen and insists that I read these books to find out the truth.

Just today, she told me people were all sick recently due to radiation poisoning from the Northern Lights. The Aurora was amazing where I live so this was kind of the final straw as it was something so special, not something awful and I don’t know anyone who got sick.

I don't mind people having different views on these topics and I'm pretty open-minded, but this has become the only thing she talks about, and it’s starting to feel overwhelming and a bit paranoid that nothing can be enjoyed. If indeed these theories are true, there is not much we can do and we might as well find the special things in life.

AIBU to step away from the friendship?

I think the being subsumed by a romantic partner thing is a sign of a personality disorder? Something to do with not having a strong sense of self. I found the attached, but I think I’ve heard it labelled as something else too.

https://sarahmyles.net/2013/07/22/borderline-personality-disorder-and-the-chameleon-effect/

She sounds exactly like my ex. And yes, it is draining. They don't change. He's been like this since Covid and I think the longer they have been immersed in these ideas, the harder it is for them to climb down from them.

Yeah, quite clearly some people are a bit hard of thinking! I wouldn't be engaging with her when she starts on this.

She sounds incredibly vulnerable & easily led… I think I’d ask her to stop sending you links and suggest avoiding these topics as discussion… if she doesn’t respect these requests I’d take a step back and say you value her beliefs but don’t believe she respects yours….
AFTER she’s stepped back from this man and returns to her old self I would be having a discussion with her about how easily impressed upon she is! She needs to do some work on herself and find her own boundaries and beliefs….
Sadly this is how cults work and I would be telling her that you’re her safe place should she ever need one, but that you just don’t appreciate her trying to impress her boy friends beliefs onto you!