Losing my mind after two babies

[Tiredoflifemum]

Hi everyone, I really need some help and advice. I have two children, one is 3 and the other is 1 years old. I want to go back to work and been hunting for a job, just got offered one. But my partner says I’m being selfish and only want to go back for me. Baring in mind we haven’t managed to buy our own house, living at my parents as a house didn’t go through nearly two years ago. I’m losing my mind, I don’t have any time to myself. Husband now saying relationship is dead as we have had hardly any intimacy since second baby. I feel trapped, whilst he goes out working all times of day and night and going on trips away with friends. He won’t even let me go to the gym or anywhere just for one hour. Am I not seeing something here? I feel like a slave. Now I’ve got this job starting next month, he’s saying he won’t be contributing to the children having to go to bed on time and will just wait for me to get home to do it. We argue all day every day, sleep in separate rooms. Is this normal?!

OP, are your parents supportive? As in, if you and your husband separate, are they able to help you and the children? I'm also curious what they think of your husband.

Get rid of him. Stopping someone having access to earning their own money, friends and the outside world are signs of an abuser.

Take the job and start planning how to leave.

He's controlling you under your own parents roof. Kick him out, take the job, apply for CMS and help with housing. You'll be much better off.

What is he actually bringing to your life? What is he taking away?

You know you need to leave him, right? Stop putting it off, take the job, divorce him. He is emotionally abusing you.

Here is my first LTB.

It is very far from normal.

God he sounds so horrible and controlling OP so your parents witness his behaviour??

Throw him out

I wouldn't want to have sex with a mysoginist who didn't want me to work. It would give me the ick.
Take the job, ditch the man.

No, it is not normal. You're not a slave and he can fuck off.

well thank goodness you are living at your parent's home.

just tell him to leave.

sorted.

then put in your claim for CMS.

Read what you just wrote OP - "He won't even let me go to the gym or anywhere just for one hour...I feel like a slave."

This is abuse.

Congratulations on the job! Accept the offer and kick him out...you deserve so much more than this!

Congratulations on your job. Use it to escape this awful awful man.

Btw - 3 and 1 nearly killed me, and that was with a supportive DH. Easier times lie ahead.

Highly abusive prick.
Get him out of your parents home today.
Apply for child maintenance today.
Divorce his ass.
Tell your parents the truth.
Congratulations on your job.

Ditch the H, kick him out, make a claim to CMS, you will be so much happier.

He's an abusive bastard. Please double up on contraception while you make plans to get him out.

Take the job

Leave the bastard

This a million times

This 100%.
He'll either have to pay you cms which will help you pay childcare, or he'll take the kids 50/50 and he will do some bloody bedtimes himself.

Op please tell your parents what's going on. Show them this thread. They may have some idea or you might have hid it well. You need their support to kick him out. He is abusive.

Once you e left him join a gym with a creche x

Single parents don't get childcare help!

This ain’t love dear.

Take the job, find a nursery and gain your independence from this useless excuse of a father.

Then get maintenance from him, claim universal credit for your childcare and give him contact on a weekend while you put your feet up and start building a life for yourself

In the interim do not ask him to go to the gym - TELL him you are going to the gym!! And do it

What do your parents think of him?