Dad threatening to take son because moving house

[Mysonsschool]

I am in temporary accommodation and I have got to move soon I’m coming 1-5 bidding on houses (some nice new builds too) because I have been in my temporary flat for 3 years (housing crisis) I have got to move soon. My sons dad wants him to stay at his same school (would obviously be ideal) but has been messaging me all day saying my son will live with him full time (he currently goes Friday and Saturday night and most weekends one night his mum has our son) as he has grandparents who can do the school run from his house if I move to a part of the city that would mean he had to move schools.
I have spoke to the council about him staying at the same school but they said due to him being reception they don’t take school into consideration and if if don’t bid they will just move me which could mean I end up in a high rise flat in a area in the city I don’t like.

Aibu to not want to lose having my son Sunday -Thursday every week and just do weekends because I have to move hosue or I am being selfish to my son and should I just let him live with his dad.

his dad can be very controlling and I just feel like he is always trying to control me but would understand to be told otherwise. Also would a court take my son if it went down that route due to me moving.

this is the same dad I was being projectile sick on Thursday after having a abortion due to a SA and I asked for his help to do the school run and he said he couldn’t get him to school as his mum wasn’t home (they live together)

He is on birth certificate and does have parental rights

Nobody has parental rights, they have parental responsibility. Your ex does not sound particularly responsible.

My dad contacted someone today for legal advice for me I believe thank you for your response x

I moved my son schools this September and he has settled so well, and he is a shy child. He's in year 2, I think someone in reception class would settle just as quickly/quicker so do what's best for you and your son and ignore your ex x

As someone who has dealt with a difficult ex... He is just being a dick about this because he can be a dick about it
He wants to make you feel bad and making you feel like a bad parent is the easiest way of doing this because all good mums worry about whether they are good mums so it's your achilles heal
He can talk all he likes about how your son would be better with him but unless he takes it to court he can't do anything (and a court would be extremely unlikely to say you can only have your child on weekends because of a house move). So just grey rock and don't give him the reaction he wants.

Nice sentiment.

But being in the BC and thus having Parental Responsibility gives the father the right to:
Veto school choice (potentially successfully )
Prevent the mother changing the child’s name, e.g adding her surname if the child has his but she does all the appointments, travel etc and even if hr has no contact at all
Prevent the mother taking the child abroad on holiday
Potentially prevent the mother from moving to a different area of the country.

All while taking no or minimal responsibility.

All true, but I don't think that if it went to court this particular dad would get the right to veto his son changing school because his mum, who has always been his main carer, needs to move house. Thank goodness.

Just make sure you and ds are legally protected in the event that he refuses to bring your ds back after having him.

A court would only be conceened about the dads ability to see your son on the same schedule. How far away is the move? if your ex can get there (or you can drop off) in a reasonable time then there should be no concerns.

Your ex can't stop you moving but he can ask a court to review a change of school, however if it doesn't affect contact and it's a similar school to current then no judge is going to change residency.

So the critical information is - can you Ex maintain contact when you are at the new address. If the answer is Yes then I doubt a solicitor would recommend your ex goes to court.

This is spot on advice !

From the legal perspective he can challenge a change of school . However as in common with most things in legality it comes down to what is 'reasonable' ..

In this case it will mean can he REASONABLY get the same contact he currently has (him NOT his mother - she does not have parental responsibility ) where you move to.. but also into the mix is what is a reasonable quality and stability to your child's life ..

Also bear in mind that it is for his father to challenge changes in court ..

Work out what is reasonable.. an hour in each direction shared by you both is reasonable.. for example..

Ops in the uk, she's in emergency social housing and is bidding on houses to rent through social housing. Many councils use a bidding system whereas they advertise all houses that come available for rent on a weekly basis and everyone who is on the council housing lists has the chance to 'bid' in the house. The person who is the highest on the priority list that bids then gets offered the house. To be between 1-5 op must be very high on the priority list.