A friend came over yesterday evening. A mutual friend who we have not seen since xmas, lost touch a bit.
It was arranged in the morning, via text. DH knew she was coming, in fact sent the confirmation text to her as I was driving. We had no other plans.
She comes over with her 14yo son, we all have a cuppa, then DH calls a friend and when he gets off phone announces friend has asked him to go over, he does not know why, but he 'needs' to go out.
After another cuppa and a general chat about nothing much he goes out at 10pm. Comes home at, god knows what time, after 12:30am as friend stayed late with me.
I asked him last night not to go, said cant it wait whatever they wanted. He did not really discuss it, just sort of, laughed. I made my feelings as clear as I could without getting into an argument in front of friend. I told him outright tho that I thought it was rude. he left without saying goodbye to friends son who was in another room on computer.
I was furious. This morning, I was still furious. He did not give me a kiss, just well, did not do it. he did not know I was still furious tho so not a reason.
I told him I was annoyed still, he got huffy with that. We had a minor argument about something else trivial and he announced he was going to work early (started at 11:30am) and took DD to nursery at 10am straight to work.
Well, he then came back as he had my bank card.
I asked him again, with DD away if he cared to explain why he went out last night. He got quite vocal, swore a bit, said it was no big deal, could not see what the problem was, blah blah, why was I getting so uptight about it, he said it gave me an opp to have some 'female' time, which I argued was not why he did it, nor what I asked for. He said he did not realise it would piss me off so much, which he did as I told him. He said it was not rude.
Anyway, I was still quite upset by it, refused to talk to him about anything else.
So he apologised. Sorry, i did not mean to upset you.
And I told him he was talking bollox . That he clearly did not feel sorry otherwise he would not have done it in the first place, as he knew i thought it was rude, and he had spent the last half hour arguing he had done nothing wrong. So he was clearly not sorry and just wanted me to stop being shitty. He said he could not help not agreeing with my point of view.
Left it for a bit. talked vaguely about other things.
Drove him to work. He then told me to snap out of it. I told him I that I was gobsmacked that he thought going out when we had a guest to see us was ok, and still could not see why it was wrong. He then spend 20 mins telling me that it was no big deal, really he spent almost two hours with her what was the problem.
It ended with him saying why should he apologise, if I am just going to throw it back in his face. I told him I would accept his apology if he meant it, he said he did not, I told him that he spent 30 seconds apologising, and two hours telling me how he was not wrong. So no I was not going to accept his apology.
A friend in between this texted us to invite to a bbq this evening. He said he is not going, as there is clearly at atmosphere.
It ends with me telling him I am concerned something is going on, as he felt it ok to just bugger off, he went out the night before, he did not give me a kiss this morning.
We say goodbye he goes to work.
I am just still furious with him. Even though he has apologised. Why cant I just accept his apology?
IABU arent I? Given that men dont apologise easily anyway.