To think there's nothing wrong with second hand bikes

[cadburyegg]

My exh and I have been discussing bikes. Ds1 has outgrown his and ds2 is getting big for his too, although his still fits for now. For context, both bikes they are on currently were second hand and ds1 also used ds2's current bike before he outgrew it.

I have said to exh that ds2 can use ds1's bike when outgrown and I will get a second hand bike for ds1 probably - the one he tried for size in Halfords was over £300. I simply can't afford that with Christmas approaching and their birthdays soon after. Exh said he "feels sorry" for the kids getting second hand bikes all the time and especially ds2 who "may never know what getting a new bike is like".

I'm fuming tbh. For context, exh pays no regular maintenance as his income is too low according to CMS. I work nearly full time and provide the majority of care plus fund the majority of the kids expenses. I think he's got a bloody cheek commenting on me buying second hand bikes, but now I feel guilty too so I wonder if there's any truth in what he said.

Ds2 by no means gets everything handed down from ds1 btw - a few clothes maybe, and the bikes like I said, but almost everything else he gets new as needed. Same for ds1. But I don't see the harm in passing down some things when they don't mind? They are 9 and 6, not teenagers.

So AIBU?

What an arseholian thing to say.

does he just want to chuck bikes into landfill?

My DS is getting my old bike for Xmas. It’s a vintage Specialized Rock Hopper which is way better than anything we’d want to pay for new. Just needs a wash and a service. He will be thrilled.

Well one of my kids won a National Championship on a second hand bike (got the jersey and everything!) So they seem to have coped ok……..

I grew up in the Netherlands, where everyone rides a bike.

Getting second hand bikes was very common, and made more sense economically as long as it was in good shape. As kids we were always excited to get a new bike, second hand or not. Don’t think I’ve ever had a brand new bike.

Ex is being a dick. If he cares so much, he should cough up the money for it.

And if you can get a pre-owned Isla bike, it will be well worth it. We sold ours on and also got a superb mountain bike that way.

You should buy second hand, but you should buy a decent brand, HOY, FROG, ISLA, WOOM, SPECIALISED, for example. Do not shop in Halfords- they are not a decent bike shop.
use a local shop or specialist shop or decathlon for maintenance and servicing,

Facebook buying groups (not marketplace) is good for getting second hand decent kids bikes.

My kid is racing too, and he hasn’t ever had a new bike (although now his bikes cost far more than mine has ever cost, even second hand 😵‍💫😆)

Nothing at all wrong with a decent second hand bike, particularly if it will be grown out of at some point. Bikes are super expensive at the moment, and there’s always a demographic that won’t entertain anything second hand, so the likelihood of picking up a decent second hand one is high. It will just need a proper check up, and maybe things like brakes, gears servicing, before being used. Save the new bike when it will be a keeper and not grown out of at a later date. A decent new helmet is a must though….life saver.

Yes and no answer from me.

We always had 2nd hand bikes, but I think they are harder to get nowadays. We had a bike shop in the village that had loads of bikes so you did genuinely get a choice in your size. It's closed long ago now.

But I take his point about #2, as the #2 in the family.
It is swings and roundabouts; in our family #1 got to choose the bike, but it was also her Christmas/birthday present, whereas I got a bike, not of my choosing, but not as a present, so I got a different present on top.
However I do remember it making me feel less important when I got everything passed down and never choosing - especially as we had very different tastes.
I think I'd have liked to have been given the option anyway.

I'd swing it back to him and say it's wonderful that he wants to buy them both new bikes for Christmas, because you do totally agree it feels hard, but you can't afford it so you assume he's offering.
See if he'll put his money where his mouth is.

Frog and Isla bikes circulate round the middle classes here. My daughter has a second hand Frog. She was delighted with it.

Second hand bikes are brilliant!
DH 's favourite hobby is buying cheap FB Marketplace bikes for a couple of quid and doing them up to pass on to friends and family. He's rejuvenated some crackers!
I'm a fairly serious cyclist, and my two favourite bikes are both second hand (road bike is 17 years old and is an absolute dream ❤️
Properly cared for and serviced a bike can give years of service, let's stop throwing things away just to buy new! 🚲

I’ve had a beautiful Cube MTB for a long time, bought new. OH put me an E motor on it, works fabulous. I dropped on a beautiful 2nd Hand Gravel/road bike last year. Again OH checked it out, perfect. Perhaps not such a wide number of 2nd hand childrens bikes out there, but easy to do a search. Not sure if they still do it, but some Police Forces used to sell off recovered bikes🤔

The only second hand bike I ever owned the front forks buckled after a month and I ended up headfirst into a tree.

I'd rather a brand new cheap bike than a second hand one where I don't know how it's been ridden or maintained.

My son is getting a second hand bike for his birthday. What's the point in buying new when he's just going to grow out of it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Besides, it may be second hand but it will be new to him!

All my Gdcs, eldest now 9, have been cycling without stabilisers since they were 3, and all their bikes have always been 2nd hand, and in their turn either passed on or sold on once outgrown.

If they’re clean and cared for, TBH I doubt most children could tell the difference between new and 2nd hand anyway.

There are very few things that I wouldn't buy second hand! YANBU, absolutely nothing wrong with a second hand bike, especially at that age!!

My dd is 8 and has only ever had decent lightweight second hand bikes. They hold their value really well. She's never once asked why it's not new. I've picked up some of her friends character bikes over the years - they were so heavy and must be harder to manoeuvre, especially when just starting out.

I'd rather have a decent used bike than a poor quality new one. They outgrow them so quickly at that age. We got some little 20 inch Trek kids bikes that were great and sold them on again. Depends on budget I expect but good bikes should keep going as long as they are properly maintained.

Tell him if that's how he feels, he's more then welcome to buy them a new one?

My ex is the same. Oh the horror of his children having hand me downs. Strangely this theme has tapered off now he has to earn his own keep and he would have to pay for new stuff himself.

Based on his level of contribution to the family unit (both financially and in amount of care) it’s absolutely none of his business - he sounds like an ahole - glad he’s your ex and not current husband.

Plus society’s obsession with new things is super unhealthy - I’ve had my kids in almost completely hand me down clothes (though they are still young) despite the fact that it would have been much easier (and I can easily afford) to buy all new because I hate the wastage involved in kids stuff - your kids won’t suffer from growing up being mindful to not waste money unnecessarily or overly value consumer items.

We live on a small housing development and people rarely buy bikes for their kids, they get stuck on the group FB page and given for free/chocs and wine or a few £.
We can afford to buy new bikes but its a waste as they grow so quickly. One bike went around 3 houses on our cul de sac

Has he offered to pay for new bikes?

id rather get my dc a second hand bike than a brand new Halfords bike

you can pick up some real bargains second hand, get it checked over at the local bike shop and buy a good lock

I'd rather a brand new cheap bike than a second hand one where I don't know how it's been ridden or maintained.

kid across the road has a brand new bike from Halfords - the parents brought it home and the forks are on back to front, the brakes consequently are round the wrong way...

get a second hand bike and take it to a local independent bike shop for a service, tat way it will be checked before being ridden