Did you lose your drive when you became a mum?

[Somanymushroomdecorations]

I’ve put my career on the backseat for the last 6 years since I had my dc. I was not bothered about work in any way, in progression, just that it was a means to an end-for money needed to survive.
I have a degree and was in a full time career for years and years.
I now feel I need something else, something is coming back to me, but all I want to do is find something that makes lots of money for my Dd and hers and our lives, without compromising hours spent with her
It’s as though my ambition has come back, but I’m really money focused, which I wasn’t before.
Has anyone else had this?

Anyone?

I took this very literally and wondered who was parking on your drive now.

Sorry

In my case, yes, very much so.

Hell yes

No, I didn't. It changed and evolved over time, and when my babies were very small my focus was on keeping my hand in in a way that would allow me to ramp up again later. I'm now in later and pushing again. I'm more money-focused now as well because of what the money can do for my DC.

No not for me, I've seen it with lots of other women at work though, sometimes their own change in priorities sometimes driven by their husband's career taking centre stage after children and they go part time etc. I was promoted whilst on mat leave and have been promoted again since, into a senior leadership role. DS is five. I work full time over 4 days and so does DH, we both blitz household chores, laundry and errands on our nwds once DS is at school and prioritise family time at the weekends. DS goes to after school sports/clubs Tues, Weds, Thurs. It works for us.

Pretty much the same pattern for me!

I definitely didn’t find this. Actually, the opposite really. I was still really driven when I had my dc. I did a PhD after I had my first and started a big London job with commute when my 2nd was 12 months old. I didn’t take any time off other than mat leave though I have largely been PT (which is fairly standard in my field, not many who are FT unless quite senior).

I am planning to re-train and take a different career direction, but it’s definitely not money driven, but about quality of life. If you are just grinding for money, you will burn out and then you’re no good to anyone. I’d rather be happy and have good quality time as a family. My mum was definitely a work yourself to the death for money and to provide sort and I learned a lot from that.

Yes. Career progression seems insignificant to me now, my main goal is to raise my children well. I have a whole different perspective on life. It's not just in relation to the children either, wider family, DH, friends, me time all mean more to me than my career. Work is just a means to enable me to take care of the children and enjoy my personal life.

No, as a lone parent I became even more driven actually.

I’m not a Mum and I think of my career as a means to an end. I’m 37 though; I think age typically makes people think their job isn’t important anymore. Because it’s not. Money is the only thing a job can really give you. The other good things in life are outside of work.

I'd say possibly in a career sense but not in a 'doing stuff' way. I've probably become less bothered about work/career progression but I have now got a drive for volunteer work, and I've started doing that and I'm quite passionate about it. So my drive has shifted, maybe, is a way of thinking about it.

No, I went back to work after 6 months maternity leave and have worked full time ever since and made several career leaps.

I went back to work as well. But I still wanted to be home with my baby when I could so didn't want to work late in the office, I couldn't go on trips away and had to take time of work whenever they were sick. Its not such a clear cut thing between career woman succesfully climbing the ladder and SAHM baking pies. I worked and I'm good at my job but in my industry at least I had to accept my career taking a backseat while my child was small and I was fine. Now I really suddenly care a lot more about recognition at work/ideally some better pay (or at least fair recompense) but its hard to know where to start...
(Thats not to criticise you, I would have loved to have done what you did and am now sort of regretting I didn't, But I would have struggled to do that in my job with a child and at the time it didn't seem as important).

For a few years i lost it a bit

Its coming back now both kids are in school but i feel the same as you - especially this bit

all I want to do is find something that makes lots of money for my Dd and hers and our lives, without compromising hours spent with her

Same for me. No kids but close family deaths, a toxic workplace and getting older has made me realise that job actually doesn’t define me and I have chosen to go in a different (less well paid) direction.

I think it's easy to use kids as an excuse. I think if you want something enough, you work to make it happen.

After I had my eldest I took a very part time job so it fitted with childcare and I stayed part time until after having my 2nd. After my maternity leave 2nd time around I actually went back to uni and re-trained for a new career. I’m not a massive earner but I earn a decent wage and I’m proud that I’ve got a degree before I turned 40