To say it's miserable being a parent?

[hazdaz]

I'm so exhausted, I feel miserable and down most days and I just don't feel like I have the strength to be a parent.

I have a 5 year old and an 8 month old and I'm just finding it really difficult at the minute. Barely getting any sleep and then getting up early every day is really taking its toll on me. My 8 month old is being really fussy at the minute as well because of his teeth, he's very clingy and needs constant entertainment but I just feel like I don't have the energy to do it. Yes, their Dad is around and helps as much as he can but even he's feeling it as well at the minute, we're both just constantly knackered and running on empty. My 5 year old is autistic as well so that's another challenge entirely.

People tell me I will miss these days when they're older but I honestly don't think I will. I just want to have my life back a bit and actually get some decent sleep.

Does anybody else feel like this? How do I embrace this time and stop wishing it away?

I have 4 year old and 8 month old. He's also really clingy at the moment and sleep is rubbish. My 4 year old really sweet but at the stage she just wants me to play with her all the time and it sounds terrible I'm just exhausted and want to rest or get jobs done while baby is asleep and then feel like a terrible parent for not giving her the attention she deserves. Also felt like I hadn't spoken to my husband in months. Finally they both settled ok the other night and we got to eat takeaway and watch a movie and felt so much better just to get some time together just us. I really appreciate these things now. Or getting out of the house for a walk or run for 30 mins by myself (doesn't happen as much as I would like). I really appreciate those little things now.

I have been thinking I might have some signs of PPD which I've never had before, and saw it can hit anytime in the 1st year after birth. Thinking the worst things will happen, really irritable with kids, feeling down. I will have appointment with PHN soon and will mention this, but hard to know if it's that or just exhaustion.

Sleep deprivation is so hard! I know on my 2nd one they do eventually sleep so I'm trying to muddle along until I can get a solid even 5 hours would be great! I hope things ease soon for you 💗

The under 5s are tough! It will get easier and be kind to yourself as you’re doing a great job.

Funnily enough I have sympathy with both of these viewpoints because they can both be true!

I was blessed with easier babies but fiesty teens! Nonetheless the early years are still challenging because of the lack of sleep and relentlessness of it all.

I have sympathy with the first quote because teens aren’t as independent as they used to be, it’s harder for them to move away when developmentally they probably should, and we are expected to be involved in their lives much more intensively than our parents were. It’s tough and it’s tiring when you have already been parenting for twenty years!

Also though, we did have a golden period between about 8 and 13 when the dc were fun, relatively easy, compliant and interested and enthusiastic about the world. It still took a lot of work. At one point I think I lived at their primary school more than I was at home! I’m not complaining though. Very much aware that for some parents of dc with SEN, or other disabilities, they never, ever, catch a break.

So it’s all a very mixed bag.

That's crazy, by the time my child was 2 and a half she was sleeping through the night and i'd stopped bf and could leave her with a babysitter on occasion to do my own thing. It was MILES easier than having an 8 month old.

How can having an 18 year old be just as difficult as a 10kg weight that screams when you put them down and needs undivided attention all the time.

It will feel better once you get more sleep. My child was an early riser that never went away, but he became able to get breakfast and watch tv, and I didn't have to also be an early riser. It might be a while though. Sorry.

I've had some incredibly challenging times with my autistic child as he got older. Incredibly difficult. But the lack of sleep did improve and it's still blissful.

It's so hard when you're not getting much sleep. It will get easier OP when the baby is sleeping better.

Different issues when they're teens, which can be just as draining.

How can having an 18 year old be just as difficult as a 10kg weight that screams when you put them down and needs undivided attention all the time.

When they’re tiny, their needs are mostly very frequent but fairly straightforward.
When I was 18, I was in and out of a psych unit with depression telling my mum I didn’t want to live anymore. I’m sure my mum would have thought an 8 month old would be easier. Thankfully that’s not that common, but they can have all sorts of problems at 18. Adult problems. You have little to no control over what they do or where they go but you still feel responsible for them and worry about them and if they really need it they’re still quite dependent.

Thank you everyone I appreciate the replies ❤️ just having a shit day, tomorrow is a new day though!

I think it is very normal to feel that way when you have a baby who doesn't sleep through. I found that parenting became enjoyable once I was getting sufficient sleep so fingers crossed that happens for you soon.

I feel the same