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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a bit let down

20 replies

hiddeneverythin · 20/10/2024 01:25

Was out in the city
45 minute train ride home
3 miles from the train station
Couldn't get a taxi
Phoned DH five times over an hour and sent two messages
Nothing
He's fast asleep beside me and hasn't stirred
Has no clue if his wife is home

OP posts:
ParentToAngelsAndOneOnTheWay · 20/10/2024 01:32

Not being unreasonable at all I'd be absolutely fuming if that was me

Ramblomatic · 20/10/2024 01:36

You're annoyed because someone is asleep at gone 1am on a Saturday?

This website is an absolute nutter magnet.

DeltaAlphaDelta79 · 20/10/2024 01:42

I used to work late and dw was often asleep by 10pm and never heard me come home and get into bed. Her phone was usually on silent. If anything happened on the way home, she would be none the wiser until the morning. Unless he was expecting you to be in contact, he's not unreasonable. That said, on the rare nights that dw went out without me (her choice completely) I couldn't sleep until she was home.

Oodiks · 20/10/2024 01:44

How did you get home?

Justasmallgless · 20/10/2024 02:11

Ramblomatic · 20/10/2024 01:36

You're annoyed because someone is asleep at gone 1am on a Saturday?

This website is an absolute nutter magnet.

This

floorchid · 20/10/2024 02:27

I get you OP. I suppose it depends how things work in your family. If I were out, my husband would not put his phone on silent and sleep so deeply he couldn't be roused - and I do the same for him, and we both do it for the kids. We've got teenagers and have jumped in the car at 1am more than once to go and get someone, with no hard feelings! The important thing is we're a team and everyone gets home safely. Some families don't work that way. Maybe you and your husband are a mismatch on this small thing?

offyoujollywelltrot · 20/10/2024 03:12

How old are you both?

Pippa12 · 20/10/2024 03:17

Is he really doing wrong by being asleep? I’m adult enough to get myself to and from a night out, certainly don’t need my (very caring!) DH to stay up ‘just in case’.

You’ve made it home unscathed it seems- I’d let this go and not ruin a Sunday over nothing.

Edingril · 20/10/2024 03:22

Yes be should stay awake for 24 hours every day in case you need him, his sole job in life is to be at your beck and call

JanglingJack · 20/10/2024 03:31

Man goes out on lash expects wife to stay awake for him until early hours to pick him up because he'd failed to make appropriate plans.

LTB

D'oh!

Guavafish1 · 20/10/2024 03:33

Depends if you arranged for him to pick you up from station… then I’d be upset.

if not, then no… probably not on purpose

RedWinePoliticsAndHair · 20/10/2024 03:34

You're not his child though, you're a grown adult who he obviously trusts to get home safely.

Eenameenadeeka · 20/10/2024 04:57

Was he meant to pick you up? Or it was expected that you were getting in a taxi? Because if he wasn't expecting to need to pick you up it's not his fault

Zanatdy · 20/10/2024 05:00

Unless he was expecting to pick you up, he’s not being unreasonable. You’re an adult, he’s not your parent. Are you expecting him to not be able to sleep until you’re home? Tell him to put his phone on loud if you’re expecting to need him. But to be angry as he’s asleep is very unreasonable

Purplecatshopaholic · 20/10/2024 05:02

Depends if there was a plan for him to pick you up or not. If not, and I’m assuming not, then it’s not unreasonable for him to be asleep? I presume he’s generally a deep sleeper. My OH wouldn’t sleep if he was aware I wasn’t home, but others are different. But you phoned him five times and sent two messages? In less than an hour? That sounds a bit bonkers tbh…

Shoxfordian · 20/10/2024 05:13

Unless he was supposed to pick you up then yabu, you're an adult and you can make your own way home

Whaleandsnail6 · 20/10/2024 06:54

I think yabu unless there was a plan that he would pick you up.

My husband works lates, I very often go to bed before he gets home as I have to get up early the next morning.

I don't know if dh has gotten in from work ok until the next day but I just presume he will, since he has appropriate plans to get home

Were you expecting him to wake up/stay awake to either pick you up or welcome you home?

WinterFaye2 · 20/10/2024 06:54

I hear you OP. I’d expect him to go to bed as normal etc but if you weren’t home by the time he was getting in bed, it would’ve been caring for him to put his phone on sound. Just incase x

mamajong · 20/10/2024 08:04

I'm confused, was he supposed to be picking you up? If not and he wasn't expecting to be involved then yabu. Direct your annoyance to the lack of taxis and yourself for not prebooking. You're an adult, surely you don't expect DP to wait up for you as though you're a child?

Original poster
hiddeneverythin · 20/10/2024 09:30

Interesting. There are normally plenty of taxis but he often picks me up from the station or the way home. It's a long walk in the dark late at night and I thought he'd have been contactable at least. It was 11pm I phoned him initially- that's how long it took me to get home. No Sundays wasted being annoyed - just wondered if I was expecting too much for him to keep his phone on

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