To be angry there's no will

[Drewner]

Father has terminal illness but is doing well and hopefully will live for many more years.

Parents divorced 20 years ago and he remarried last year not long after diagnosis.

He's been very matter of fact about death and inheritance and explained verbally in detail what he plans to do with estate - basically divide equally between me, 2 siblings and wife.

However, he's written none of it down as I have a wealthy great uncle aged 94 and he wanted to see what he leaves us before putting his own wishes on paper.

Wealthy uncle is leaving entire estate to charity - I have this on good authority from another family member. I don't expect or want anything from great uncle.

I'm upset father's wishes aren't written down. This isn't about the money - I've seen so many examples of problems caused by no will and my one ask of father was that he write things down to avoid problems and give clarity to those left behind.

My father died this year abroad, no will. It’s going to cost me about £40,000. You’re right to be angry I’m afraid.

If he's not written it down and you're in England you get nothing. It'll all go to his wife.

If there is no will, does he realise you won’t get anything. It all goes to his wife.

This is true it will all go to his wife

If there’s no will you won’t be inheriting. His wife will get everything.

There's an offer that comes round every year, maybe November? Where wills are cheap to do as it's just a charity donation, encourage him to do that. I'd be annoyed too, particularly as as it stands all money will go to the wife surely?

He has decided, because doing nothing is deciding, to leave everything to his wife. Just say that every time he mentions it and make your peace.

I'm sorry.

NBU If he dies before his wife, everything goes to her if estate is under £250k, she gets a 3rd if over and his children split the rest. (Or half if you are the only child, not sure if it's your siblings or your father's)

www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will]]]]

If there's no will, the estate has divided according to these rules. It dues ‘t matter what he has said verbally, these are the rules.

FIL didn’t bother to update his will when he remarried so it all went to his 2nd wife. She promised to honor his wishes in his invalid will but died soon after and before probate granted-so DH’s step siblings (that he doesn’t know) got the fucking lot - DH and his siblings got nada.

yes I think this is a good description of what is happening here. Not deciding or not acting is a decision, is an action.

So just say to your dad that without a will if anything happens to him his wife will inherit his entire estate. If that is what he wants, fine. If not he needs to make a will. repeat repeat

I expect after the uncle dies, there will be another excuse for not making a will.

The laws of intestacy are very specific. Well worth being aware of them if he has not written a will. If this is the case, his wife will not inherit everything if his estate is worth more than a certain amount, but she will inherit the majority share, and she will also be considered next of kin for the purposes of filing for the right to be his estate administrator (ie the executor by another name.) My father remarried, got terminal cancer, and didn’t sign his will. Although he had written one, he was also waiting for a specific family event to occur before he would sign it. He died before signing it, and his wife disregarded his intentions and took as much as she could, and argued for more than she was entitled to but didn’t get it. She still put us through the wringer, both emotionally and financially, and if I could wish for one person to burn in hell for eternity it would be her. However, the orchestrator of this whole sorry affair was my dad, who did not ensure his estate and paperwork was in order so that when he died his wishes were acted on. He will forever be remembered among my siblings and other family as ‘that stupid man.’

If you have the ability to speak with your dad, you could tell him that it is entirely up to him how he leaves his affairs, but please, don’t leave you in a state where you end up cursing his name because he did not act. It is no fun trying to pick your way through an intestacy case in complicated circumstances. The only person who has the power to ensure you are not left in this position is your dad.

I also found out father paid for step sisters entire uni education.

She (and 2nd wife,) are from.another country so uni involved tens of thousands in international fees. Me and siblings had to gets jobs / student loan.

I can see that steps sister is from more disadvantaged country and had no option for student loan so perhaps I should look at it that way but it also hurts that he supported her so much more than siblings and I, like she's more important

Only up to a certain value.

Check the law before you state misleading “facts”.

OP, even without a will it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll receive nothing. Check the intestacy rules and you will see what happens if someone dies without a will.

Those saying his wife will get it all - this is not strictly true. The wife gets her share according to the amounts set out under the law of intestacy. The blood children and any dependent children each get a share of what remains after the wife gets the majority share, but children from a first marriage are entitled to an inheritance if the estate is large enough. The problems arise when the wife takes control of the estate and is in charge of deciding how the children will receive their share.

In our case, the wife sold many properties to release cash, and every sale involved the eviction of a longstanding tenant who had been promised a home for life by my father, or the dissolution of a partnership between my father and his siblings, or an argument about the value of the property. Heirlooms and family items were sold without consultation at auction. Childhood photos were discarded and destroyed. The heartache caused by the lack of a will stretched far beyond simply accepting his wife (who he was estranged from anyway for the 8 years prior to his death due to her infidelity) would inherit most of it. The endless interminable arguing meant that we never got to grieve properly. His ashes are still in a box under my sister’s bed, as no one is interested in a proper scattering (he died during the height of Covid so it wasn’t possible then.)

If your father is happy to cause such upset, let him know how you feel about it. If he wishes for his wife to inherit everything, at least a will would let you know this. By not making a will his is admitting (although he may not realise this) that he does not really car how much trauma he will cause you in the coming years.

I will never really get over my father’s lack of will and the endless ongoing trouble it caused. All the good memories of him erased by the knowledge he did not care enough to prevent us from being put through such pain.

There is an awful lot of work involved dying without a will and very specific rules as to who gets what that I think you need to tell him about

there is often free will stuff around (think there is at the moment) to get one done for free

we pushed this a lot with FIL and eventually he did one 4 months before he died which avoided a whole lot of issues

Tell him to write his will based on what he knows now, and he can change it later if it turns out that millionaire uncle has left you his fortune.

I expect he actually does want his wife to inherit everything.

My father has died intestate. It is costing me money for funeral costs etc

expression of wish form leaves pension to new partner etc.

she has left all funeral arrangements and costs to us.

it is downright selfish not to have a will. Your DF knows what he is doing

It'll take an hour phone call and about £100 to sort it. Encourage it done, I spoke to my mum, and booked the solicitors call, they spoke to her, drew up the will after their questions established who got what, then posted it, I got her to sign it with witnesses and I sent it off..

I detail it like that because asking them to do it isn't enough. There's a lot of steps, and their involvement is small if done right. It's for your benefit (and by that I mean vs the hassle of not having a will rather than beneficiary), if they want things to go to none kin then a will is the only way.