I’m really anxious over everything

[whatiswrongwitg]

I’m sitting here now really anxious. I’m anxious over everything. The recent things:

1). bowling get together for my sons friend. Mum said she will message us when kids eaten and ready for pick up. She didn’t and by the time I got there they had been waiting for a while. Other parents used their common sense and turned up earlier but I was waiting for a message. She was lovely about it but I felt so stupid.

2). went for tea at a school mums house and I got so nervous I dropped my tea and as we were saying goodbyes my voice got squeaky.

these are just a handful from this week!

please help me be less anxious

Example one is her problem not yours

You seem to have Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

General treatments are anti depressants but the most effective things are compassion focused therapy, you're probably not very forgiving of yourself so you blame yourself for things and therefore you think other people are going to/or do blame you for things, and you anticipate that before it happens so it builds up the anxiety.

And, I may well explain this badly, but one of the biggest contributors of anxiety is the thought or concept that everything is about you, people are looking at you, thinking about you (badly), behaving in reaction or response to you, making decisions in light of you in some way
That is not accurate but what it does is make you anxious, both out of control but feeling at the centre of everything (that sounds contradictory)

It sounds also contradictory to help yourself understand 'Im not that important, people arent that bothered by me/with me', the anxiety will lower

There is probably a technical term for it but I dont know it!

Good luck OP

@soupfiend thank you

Here's me! I'm anxious over everything, and I mean everything. I'm pretty med resistant so am currently doing cbt for the 3rd time. Hoping for relief sometime soon as I'm exhausted.

Could you be perimenopausal?

No, I’ve had this my entire life. I had a neglectful mother so as my previous therapist has told me it was a coping mechanism - to over worry and get things done as no one else could be relied on. Got myself to school, washed my own clothes and hair from a young age. Couldn’t use a washing machine didn’t know how so would wash my clothes in the sink!

I personally have found therapy a waste of time. I never paid as always got the sessions free on NHS. It’s just going over everything over and over again made me feel worse. I never felt better after therapy not once

Compassion focused therapy is slightly different but I do understand that lots of us have had lots of therapy over the years and not really benefitted. I think that therapy is overrated as a general rule. It can be helpful of course

Op. You could be me, I’ve had anxiety all my life, my first memories are tainted with it. I’ve had private counselling…
My son has adhd and while ready up on the condition I’ve come to the conclusion that I probably have it too, and one of my main symptoms is anxiety

Recognising that has made it easier to understand my self and be kinder to myself

Going over and over what happened forever and a day may not be helpful. I can't help thinking that you need some ideas and techniques for dealing with the habitual anxious state of mind.

The classic book Self Help for Your Nerves by GP Dr Claire Weekes was written to give her patients some ideas how they could help themselves. Probably most people don't know that they can or how they can, unless they learn it or are shown it. Her book is quite old but you can find and read it online from the internet archive. Paul McKenna is also good on simple techniques you can easily learn and practise, at least some of which seem to have been derived from her book.

Listen to mel robbins podcasts... lots of quick tip strategies helping to distract from the anxious moment. I found her really useful

Have you tried hypnosis? A really good practitioner should be able to help you.
Don't choose someone based on price but based on word of mouth, if possible.