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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dad Guilt

2 replies

dadsnet22 · 19/10/2024 08:39

Hi all,

this is my first post and I need some advice from mums and dads out there in relation to parent guilt. We have a 11 year old daughter and just had a son 1 week ago. I am consumed with guilt that I am not providing my DD the attention she was receiving previously. Now actually everything is pretty much the same, we still have the mornings where we get ready and discuss the day, evening where we have a family meal at the table and debrief the school day and discuss homework. But I know my projecting my guilt and just thoughts about loving 2 babies at the same time. It’s obviously hard as we have had just 1 for a long time. At times it feels almost awkward or like I’m trying to hard. She doesn’t seem phased but I just don’t want our beautiful new arrival to affect her negatively in any way. I know in the long run everything will be fine as she’s very mature and gets involved with our DS, I know things will settle down in my mind. How did other parents deal with this without it becoming a big thing?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 19/10/2024 08:50

It sounds like you are the only one being negatively affected. Be kind to yourself. This is your life now, and DD’s, just enjoy it.

vincettenoir · 19/10/2024 09:27

Agree with pp. This is something you are struggling with and not either of your dc. Maybe you have some guilt about having a second child or this reminds you or some part of your own childhood dynamic that you were not always comfortable with. Just remind yourself that you are giving both dc love that will nurture them. And just one or two generations ago and in other parts of the world couples were /are regularly having 10+ children.

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