Single mums should be offered a free flu jab?

[Journeyintomelody]

This is off the back of a very hard week. I picked up a nasty dose of flu, probably from a baby group. I have a super high pain threshold but when I have a cold I'm utterly useless. I need two or three days to hibernate and recover.

Last week I discovered that you can't do this as a single mum. DD (7.5 months) needed me. So I had to plough on, and it was hard. It's been over a week and I still haven't shaken it off completely, but now DD has it (it's breaking my heart to see her unwell). She has been dosed up with Calpol but is very unsettled. Between the two of us, it is probably going to write off nearly 3 weeks.

AIBU to think that single parents should be offered free flu jabs?

But there is no choice. I have to get out bed to care for my baby. She is my ultimate motivation. You just have to dig really deep and give your last bit of energy.

Having the flu jab will not help with a cold.

No why on earth should they?

@newrubylane your last point is really good advice. This has made me realise that if I am seriously ill, there will be noone to look after DD. It one of those things you don't really think about until it happens, but good to prepare ,👍

Yes you are overthinking it.

Around 2002 I had 'flu and lived on my own and believe me I was so ill and delirious I thought I was dying and in my mind I was planning on having my ashes scattered in Nepal because I knew I would never visit there! I was boiling hot but my teeth were chattering. I crawled to the bathroom, didn't wash for a week and had to force myself to get out of bed where day could have been night and vice versa to get a drink, eat a piece of toast and see to my cat.

On the other hand when I got covid I had a runny nose and a slight cough and I had been vaccinated.

Someone asked how you know the difference between a cold and flu.

This is where I have been at this week!

With DD and broken nights, it's been really really hard. Only time I have felt remotely similar is with swine flu in 2009 I think it was. I'm definitely over the worst, it's all above neck now but DDs got it. I just hope I passed on enough antibodies BF.

The committee who makes the recommendations for who is eligible for vaccines on the NHS each year is the Joint Committee on Vaccination and Immunisation. They have a specialist sub committee on influenza. I confess that on a quick Google I couldn’t find their evidence and reasoning for not offering it to healthy children aged 6 months to 2 years, but it will be based on scientific evidence and a cost benefit analysis.

There’s a wealth of information online published by the JCVI, including the minutes of all their meetings, if you’re really interested (it’s quite a rabbit hole):

https://www.gov.uk/government/groups/joint-committee-on-vaccination-and-immunisation

It's not true though. The way to tell the difference between cold and flu is to send a swab to a lab.

Sorry to nitpick, but if you were well enough to get out of bed to see to your cat you could have picked up the £20…

I do sympathise, I’ve been that sick myself with what was probably flu, and more recently with definitely covid and I live alone and have a dog so can understand forcing yourself out of bed for the bathroom, food and basic animal care.

I suppose it’s confirmation bias really because the people who’ve had flu mildly and could carry on with daily life would probably have just thought it was a cold.

OP, I do hope you feel better soon.

I replied I can't be 100% sure as I haven't swabbed, but I haven't felt like this since 2009 when I had swine flu. It doesn't really make any difference to my question, because this cold/flu (which I am pretty sure it is) has highlighted an issue I had not really thought about: Caring for a baby when you are very ill is extremely hard. If there is a way to reduce the risk of flu then I think that those in need should be able to access that. I understand it won't prevent you from getting a cold.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but : flu can actually be mild or even asymptomatic. The “it’s not flu if you can get out of bed” mantra is totally wrong. Flu is a family of viruses which can be quite serious but can also cause mild sniffles and most people will not realise they’ve got it and think it’s just a cold. So op might well have had mild flu. Unless she’s getting tested for it (which no one does really? ) we’ll never know.

@FavouriteYellowChair thanks!
I think we can all agree that flu/colds/norovirus suck!! In an ideal world we would all be vaccinated and noone would get ill.
I breezed through my 20s with no responsibilities, only had to look after myself. If I was ill I would take the time to rest and recover. Just not possible now. Perhaps I'm waking up to some of the challenges that come with being a single parent that aren't often spoken about?

"however there is no provision for under 2s and new parents."

Babies over 6 months who are clinically vulnerable can get it. 2 and 3 year olds are given it because they are big spreaders of flu.

It does sound challenging - I have no kids but a very responsible job and I’m struggling with balancing that with looking after myself as I enter my third week of feeling too sick really to leave the house, so I can’t imagine how much worse it must be for people who have a small child utterly dependent on them.

I suppose when you’re better it might be worth having a think about whether you do have any other sources of support (I had two parents my whole childhood but they made emergency arrangements with close friends that if anything serious happened the kids would be looked after); maybe in the past extended families and godparenting covered some of this. Or maybe there isn’t anything possible in your particular circumstances, in which case I guess it’s a matter of getting through as best you can (sounds like you’re doing an amazing job) and knowing that they gradually get less dependent as they get older.

Also op if you have lupus are you sure you aren’t entitled to a free one anyway as you’re immunocompromised? Although I read flu vaccine can cause lupus flare up so you’d need to weigh up that risk anyway.

Can you afford to put 50p a month aside each month ready for next years flu shot? Or even a £1?

Thanks, I was eligible but came off immunosuppressants during pregnancy so am now ineligible. I usually get flare ups after getting sick though, which can go on for months. I'm in that grey area unfortunately of being indirectly at risk.

But more than likely you don’t have the flu, you have a run of the mill virus for which there is no vaccine.

I have 2 long term underlying health conditions (asthma and a non-working pancreas) and I have stage 3 cancer and I can’t manage to book in for my NHS flu jab or even a private one at the moment as there are no slots.

As I said previously, I absolutely will prioritise getting one next year! It's just not something I had thought about before getting ill. Unfortunately at the moment it's not something that I could afford to go out and get.

I'm so sorry. That is awful. You should be at the top of the list.

Yes I think it’s something lots of us learn the hard way. I paid for a flu jab this year as I think I had flu (was really sick and tested negative for Covid) last winter. Then this year I’ve been really sick with Covid so am contemplating forking out £50-100 for a Covid jab next year sometime. I realize I’m lucky to be in a position where I can afford it.

Vaccines are kind of like insurance. You don't realise how worthwhile they are until after the fact.

This time of year it's unlikely it was flu, season is only just starting. I haven't even had my jab yet, scheduled for end of month (Not UK though) as my doctor strongly recommended against getting my Covid booster and flu shot too closely together.

However if UK is like the USA/Canada right now, Covid is running rampant. I've lost count of the number of people I know who have had it.

The UK is narrower in its recommendations than other countries. USA and Canada are both universal vaccination for 6mos and older.

Same here. My GP put me on the free-flu-jab list when I was both a single parent to a small child, and the primary carer for my late mother - I didn't even have to ask. I think he just thought: bloody hell if she goes down, two other people go down with her. It was in the NHS's interests to keep me on my feet.