To choose a primary where all the children don’t go to the same secondary?

[thinkingaboutnextsteps]

Our local primary school feeds into the local secondary school (unsurprisingly!)

I really don’t want my children to go there but can envision them being upset in year 6 if they find out literally the whole class are going to a different school. So - WIBU to send to another school where catchment is far more varied and children go to a number of different secondaries?

I think you need to choose a school based on the first 6.5 years and not the last 0.5.

In y5 and y6 you can instill 'we may choose a different school if we think it would suit you better'.

I'd say base your decision on how good the primary is.

We've moved house after DC started primary so we're in the catchment for a specific secondary. Our primary doesn't feed into this secondary.

DC's friends will mostly be going to the feeder (not sure that's the correct term but you get me) school and yes, DC is a little upset.

But we made the decision based on what's good for their education not where their friends are going.

My point being that ultimately, it doesn't matter where their friends are / end up being. Focus your decision on the quality of the schools.

This isn't a basis for which to choose a primary unless they're equal in every other respect. Sometimes kids will be disappointed. Tbh I wished different kids were at my secondary than primary anyway. I made friends with kids at secondary from different schools.

Yes, as PP said, choose the best school for now. It really doesn't matter that much who goes to what secondary. You can't really know what secondary you want them to go to yet either.

I agree in principle as long as the chosen primary offers what your children need in other ways.
I do school appeals and we get so many where the main reason for appeal is because the yr 7 children won't be with friends from primary.
If applying this year, make sure that your local primary is on your list as a safeguard in case you don't get your first choice.

I avoided primaries where (almost) all children went to the same school (huge city so lots of schools in our area). We chose a school that had much more diverse group of secondaries that children regularly went on to.

Mainly because I don’t believe that one school suits all children and I felt the schools that fed into one main secondary were not as academically ambitious.

Would the alternative primary school be a lot further away? I think it's really important to have local friends at primary school.

My eldest two went to a school that at the time was split for two secondary schools, plus had a 3rd overarching catchment.

They both went to a 4th school. It was absolutely fine.

Honestly though, people will move in that time period even if they keep them at the same school for primary.

Things may also change dramatically in those 7 years.

Oh and remember it is an illusion of choice, you don't really get to choose where they go, you just hope it is the one you want. (England)

My children have all gone to a school which feeds into a local secondary. I'd say, on average, only half of the class go to the school that the primary feeds into though, even though it is a guaranteed place if people choose it first. I'd probably speak to the primary about onward destinations, you may find that fewer children than you think move on together.

This issue would never even occur to me to consider when choosing a primary school

Also, a secondary school can change a lot in 7 years.

A lot can change in 7 years.

when DS started primary school we had one secondary that was in a mess and another oversubscribed.

Ds is now in year 10 of those schools the first got a new head and has now been completely transformed to the point it has now had awards. The second is about to be forced to become an academy after a second awful Ofsted and falling numbers.

If you otherwise like the catchment primary school, then I think you would be a bit unreasonable to reject it on these grounds.

Even if you choose a different primary, you could still face your child not going to the same secondary school as, say, their best friend. Without a crystal ball to tell you who their best friends will be and which schools those friends will be going to, there'll always be a risk of sadness. Far better to just prepare the ground well in advance.

Also, local friends and an easy journey can make such a difference at primary, so that would be a big positive to turn down.

We relocated when DD was in year 5 to a tiny town with an outstanding secondary. 62/65 of her year went up to Secondary with her. However, I defo think pick the primary nearest to you know. Local friends and not trekking miles each day.

Even if a big group of friends do all go to the same secondary school, they can end up spread across lots of classes or in timetable streams where some of them never ever met in lessons.

They all need to be prepared for secondary being a very different experience with lots of new people and seeing much less of friends, even if they are in schools that are basically feeder schools.

It's the same the other way round, if they don't go off with a big group of friends they need to understand that the friends they're not going with are not all going to be together all day even if they are at the same secondary school.

Out of school stuff like scouts and music can be good ways to make connections that last even when kids go to different schools, and also to make connections with kids who aren't at their primary school but may well turn up at the same secondary.

To be honest there is very little to choose between the two schools. They aren’t dissimilar in size or ethos. Which is why I think the slightly more diverse secondaries primary 2 has may give it the edge.

And I know that children make new friends when they go to secondary school, but I can see that if you’re ten / eleven and literally everyone else from your class is going to a particular school you would feel left out and on the periphery of things, while if a few are going here and some there and a couple somewhere else again it isn’t quite as marked.

Are your DC likely to get into the other primary school?

Almost certainly, the schools are rural and need bums on seats, cynically.

Twenty years ago every child in my year 6 class went to the local comp together, but my parents sent me to the Grammar a little further away.

For an already shy child, it was an absolutely horrendous experience, and I've never really forgiven them for it.

Well, this is of course what I’m worried about.

The problem of course is that the scenario you describe could so easily have gone the other way - that you had a bad experience at the comp and never forgave your parents for not sending you to the grammar. Parenting has made me so much more sympathetic to perceived mistakes my own parents made! All we can do is what we think is best.